Missy7

It's going okay. I went for pasta with my daughter for lunch today. The waiter showed up and I practically yelled: "Iced tea please." Whew. That was over. She and I always have a glass of wine or two. Then I go to her house and we drink a bottle or two. Then my husband has to come get me because I can't drive home.

And I have loved being sober. I have felt so good. I have been great at work and have done some needlework. But there are these nagging interjections. I'm tense. I'm afraid my husband will decide I'm no fun. I don't know if I want to be trapped in the house on Friday night.

All week it's been great and I've been floating and feeling like I was in control. Tonight, I don't know. Seriously? Will I always feel like I'm missing something? How, without alcohol, will I manage my energy?

I promised myself I would clean house when this happened. I guess that's what I'll do.

Good luck to us all this weekend. I expect there will be some clean bathrooms in soberville.

OklaBH

You are doing really good! Journal how well you feel sober. When confronted with drinking we forget that.

Dee74

From my experience, it's perfectly natural to miss stuff, and to feel deflated.
Drinking was a big part of my life.

It's even natural to suddenly revert to 15yo and find yourself resenting the heck out of people who don't have to change their lives....

But no-one here would have stuck with the changes we all had to make if it wasn't worth it,
Missy

It's not easy the first weekend or two - but you're not alone here...and I know you can do this

D

Missy7

I'm so nervous I could throw up--without drinking. It isn't fair. I'll bet I'm textbook excuse alkie. I didn't miss it a bit today. I don't know what's happening. I might cry. Dammit. I thought I had it under control.

Seven is a very lucky number in my family. My oldest daughter, who was born when I was 16, was born on 7/7/77. Tomorrow is day 7. Gotta get there at least. Right?

Missy7

Oh my God. That was post 77. Well. God does work in mysterious ways.

LaFemme

May you have 77 years of sobriety

Bikeguy

Hang in there Missy7, you can do it and tomorrow you will be so happy with yourself if you don't drink tonight!

Missy7

Up until now I was recovering. Now I'm really turning away from a habit that for me was really important. I am so very intense. We all say stuff like that, but I'm that scary woman that you probably don't want to be married to but do want for an employee. I'm a workaholic, I'm phenomally committed to causes, I'm energetic. And I use alcohol to take a break.

I walked one day this week and "rode" my elliptical this morning. I chased my grandboy around this afternoon but faced with Friday, I don't know.

The weird numerology will keep me sober tonight. I'm also superstitious. But somehow the tables have turned. It's quite the phenomenon.

Again, I thought earlier, "this was pretty easy." Now I see that it isn't.

SomethingBetter

He sure does, hang in there, it does get easier

Ranger

Yeah, but take heart you're no more ordinary than anyone else here.

My sobriety has included a series of revelations that make clear I did not write the script on addiction and associated character issues. At first it was unnerving to understand there are decades' old academic works that accurately characterize my addiction life story. Eventually, however, I realized that if my addiction was textbook then my recovery could also follow a well-known script. That's good news!

MsCooterBrown

Missy..You remind me of me..I have 50 million What Ifs that go thru my head on any given day. It is an act of God for me to shut down just to sleep..I have learned to let go of things that I have no control over. Maybe your husband will think you are even MORE fun sober..perhaps he doesn't like having to drive you around after you have a bottle of wine too many. I like to change the thoughts up..like instead of thinking I am trapped in the house..I changed it around (rearranged furniture..hung some new stuff..painted the living room) and I love my house now. Plus I think you are the karaoke lady right? I got my son in law a home karaoke machine and we drag that out and the grandkids love it! I really laugh when my 3 yr old belts out some tunes..ANYWAY..I hope you make it thru the weekend. Concentrate on how GOOD you feel ..no hangover..the antsy feelings will leave soon..All the best!

Missy7

Good idea. We'll buy a karaoke machine. Phil loves electronics. He also loves an audience...but let's classify me as the cool lady married to the karaoke weirdo. BTW, he does a dead on Mac the Knife. It's worth hearing...

Gosh I love this site.

JoeCree

without revealing too much, she said she was 16 when she had her daughter in 1977.

Assuming she started her sobriety 1 week ago - she would have to live to 127 to achieve 77 years of sobriety. nevertheless, a nice gesture

JoeCree

The last time I did Karaoke was smashed in a bar in Portugal singing Wonderwall by Oasis! I thought I was good until I got the hook

EmeraldRose

You'll be fine Missy...stay positive and think about all the good points in your life now that you're sober. In due time, you'll feel like you can have fun again. I used up all the punches on my fun card so I'm finding other things to do...like taken up drawing again, organizing things that should have been organized years ago, writing real notes to people instead of email, reading (which I hate to do)...there is alot of new energy that you have to find an outlet for.
I went to lunch with my daughter, too. She's still gaining my trust and it was a positive date so I enjoyed that. A good point today. Something to stay sober for.
Why don't you go to a movie or something on Friday nights? You don't HAVE to stay home if its going to make you miserable. Go shopping. We need to find something to fill that void.
I just got off the phone with my brother -we talked for 2 hours -2 hours I didn't think about drink!! =)

MsCooterBrown

Good catch Joe. BUT maybe she will live to be 127...I read somewhere where you can pay this astronomical fee to have your head froze..they toss it in a vault somewhere. I for the life of me can't imagine why people would want to freeze their head..Hang on..lemme google this..

Really! Most of us are familiar with the idea of cryogenically freezing recently dead people, right? Companies freeze the corpse shortly after death to very low temperatures, in the hopes of preserving the person until such time as scientists can reverse whatever it was that killed them. At the minimum we know that Ted Williams is chilling out somewhere in California at 77 Kelvin, waiting for science to come up with a way to give him a new body (Walt Disney, by the way, was cremated). But thanks to last night’s episode of The Eleventh Hour, I’ve now learned that some people choose to only have their heads frozen and not the rest of them. It sounds like that scene from Young Frankenstein, right?

The rest of this article says the cost varies between 80,000. and 150,000. SO that leads me to my next question..If you freeze a drunken head..when they figure out how to bring you back to life..will you still be a drunk?

*grabs the hook*

Missy7

Notice: 77 Kelvin! Then there's Seven & Seven....

MsCooterBrown

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers NEVER drank Seven and Seven. That is all I know.

Missy7

Went to Karaoke. Two bars, two O'Doul's. I'm on my way. I'm so happy inside. I just feel light and capable and will wash my face then go to bed. Phil's a little toasted, I drove, and it felt good to take care of him since it's his big night out. The bartender was a little surprised--I made Phil order for me and I couldn't make contact, but whatever. We tip.

Thanks all. I could never, ever have done it without worrying through it with you on here beforehand.

Tomorrow will be lovely. My muscles won't ache. I won't be stupid. Thank you, thank you.