Sick and Tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 32
Sick and Tired
I posted on this website a couple months ago, but quickly went back to drinking. I spent all of last night vomiting and cursing myself! I really hope to get off alcohol. It truly is poison to me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
Welcome back John
I found support - regular support - was very helpful and useful to me.
Stick around here and you'll not only find a lot of support but a few ideas on what to do next too
D
I found support - regular support - was very helpful and useful to me.
Stick around here and you'll not only find a lot of support but a few ideas on what to do next too
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
omg johnc!!!!! i have been there before...more times than i can even count which i am not proud of....but you pick up the pieces of your tortured soul and carry on the best way u can....it is so weird that you posted this...i just got a very nice post back after i said that i am too ashamed to even show my face at meetings because of relapse...that person just told me to go anyways...and seriously dude.....you made it back here and there are many addicts that won't because of death or denial....knowing that...and remembering the reprocusions(which i am still dealing with) of my actions that go along with drug and alcohol use...i still to this day make myself actually visualize myself in dirty month old worn clothes and the stench of my unshowered skin...and the total hatred i had for myself....and the hopless feelings of being out of control.....the fear of dying but the pain of living...i know..how you are feeling right this minute and that my friend makes us kindered spirit in a way...everyone with addictions of all sorts share a common bond. knowing that...helps....i am truly grateful tonight...for the simple fact that i had a chance to read your post....it helped me realize that i am powerless to drugs and alcohol but powerful to do something about it...i think i am home now. that is comforting. i may be new on here but i truly want to learn from everyone and everything i read...the best advice of all isbe honest and ask questions...that is what i am going to do this time around...be a total knowledge sponge...if i can ever help..even if it is someone to listen...hit me up...i am here
jess
jess
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome Johnc. Very few of us get this the first time around. It's my experience that we alcoholics don't give up easy. I tired many times to control my drinking and always failed. And by "control my drinking" I mean still getting plenty drunk, I just didn't like when I did or said dumb things or blacked out. I was ready to settle with still being a drunk, I just didn't want to be too "big of a drunk".
Even that plan failed What's crazy is alcohol takes many things away from us and at then end - alcohol even takes alcohol away from us. I wasn't getting the "good drunks" at the end. I was either sober and planning on drinking or I was completely sloppy drunk. I never had that mid-range of drinking and feeling in control.
I came to recovery this time completely beaten by booze. It was then, and only then, that I was ready to take some direction and start this journey.
I wish you the best. You can get better, just stay with it!!!
Even that plan failed What's crazy is alcohol takes many things away from us and at then end - alcohol even takes alcohol away from us. I wasn't getting the "good drunks" at the end. I was either sober and planning on drinking or I was completely sloppy drunk. I never had that mid-range of drinking and feeling in control.
I came to recovery this time completely beaten by booze. It was then, and only then, that I was ready to take some direction and start this journey.
I wish you the best. You can get better, just stay with it!!!
...than never
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 152
Originally Posted by johnc 
I posted on this website a couple months ago, but quickly went back to drinking. I spent all of last night vomiting and cursing myself! I really hope to get off alcohol. It truly is poison to me
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're here john! I hope you start to feel better soon..... It's amazing what we do to ourselves just to turn around and do it again. That's the insanity of alcohol.
I can't count the number of mornings and even days I spent feeling miserable. All that wasted time
None of us deserve to live that way.
Stay tuned in here and it will help you get through the weekend. It's so tempting to start up again once we feel better. Just reading posts like yours reminds me there's just no reason to pick up a drink again. So thanks......!
One day at a time - it will get better.
I can't count the number of mornings and even days I spent feeling miserable. All that wasted time
None of us deserve to live that way.Stay tuned in here and it will help you get through the weekend. It's so tempting to start up again once we feel better. Just reading posts like yours reminds me there's just no reason to pick up a drink again. So thanks......!
One day at a time - it will get better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
hi john and welcome.
i think we all have to come to a place in our drinking where the effects of it just don't work any more...maintenance drinking.
i know for me thats what happened...i just couldn't stay sober but when i drank it did nothing for me ,but made me miserable/i was in limbo.
i had to make a decision to go through the withdrawls ,which were terrible beyond my ability to describe..or carry on through the vicious cycle day after day ,and get worse and worse and worse...
alcohol took me to the pits of hell.the lonliest place in the human soul..
i never want to experience thoose emotions ever again as long as i live.
NOTHING could ever be as bad as that horrible road i travelled and i'm sure an awful lot of people on this site have also travelled.
so i say heres to a life of sobriety and a life filled with love and joy to each and everyone of us/
we have paid our dues and we deserve a good happy healthy life
i think we all have to come to a place in our drinking where the effects of it just don't work any more...maintenance drinking.
i know for me thats what happened...i just couldn't stay sober but when i drank it did nothing for me ,but made me miserable/i was in limbo.
i had to make a decision to go through the withdrawls ,which were terrible beyond my ability to describe..or carry on through the vicious cycle day after day ,and get worse and worse and worse...
alcohol took me to the pits of hell.the lonliest place in the human soul..
i never want to experience thoose emotions ever again as long as i live.
NOTHING could ever be as bad as that horrible road i travelled and i'm sure an awful lot of people on this site have also travelled.
so i say heres to a life of sobriety and a life filled with love and joy to each and everyone of us/
we have paid our dues and we deserve a good happy healthy life
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I knew I was in a bad place...drinking to get drunk. There were times when I actually felt like I drank myself sober..no matter how hard I tried my Internal Buzz Indicator was blown out. It finally dawned on me that I make a miserable drunk. I dedicated 30 plus years trying to perfect my drunkdum. I got sick of myself. I finally realized alcohol had kicked my butt. I quit trying. I knew I didn't have it in me any more..I accepted that I can no longer drink. I now have six months sobriety and have never felt better..I wish you well. I hope you post and read often. I have learned so much from everyone here. SR is a Godsend! Stick around!!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Welcome back John!
The key for me was realizing that your best sober day is SO MUCH BETTER than your best drinking day. So even when the hangover fades and you feel that giddy excitement anticipating your next drink..... know that sober life has way, way more to offer.
The key for me was realizing that your best sober day is SO MUCH BETTER than your best drinking day. So even when the hangover fades and you feel that giddy excitement anticipating your next drink..... know that sober life has way, way more to offer.
JTinStLouis
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 115
Hi John and welcome back. Coming back is a good action and talking about is good too. We have all been where you are at and understand how you feel. Just keep in mind that it is OK to ask for help, because we all need it from time to time.
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