Mamma needs a drink
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 53
Mamma needs a drink
Last night was a little bit rough. I worked a full day and went to pick up my kids from their after-school program. One of them had a music lesson to get to so it was just a quick stop at home for a snack and then we were to be off again.
One of my kids seemed to be having a tough day - upset about little things and finding it hard to cope, recounting all of the negative things that happened during the day and so on and so on. I tried talking to him about not focusing on all the bad things - he had to balance it out with the good. So I asked him, what are a few things you are grateful for? He listed a few things that are the sort of general things I should be happy for (mom, dad, a house, etc. - although sweets were at the top of the list).
I didn't feel like he was getting it. So I told him it doesn't have to be a list or anything that happened to him. I gave him a few examples of things I was grateful for: the sunshine yesterday because it was nice to have a break in the rain and it made me feel happy; my Sweet Dreams tea because it gave me comfort and the heat and herbs were relaxing.
So we went to the lesson and all was fine. Came home and all was fine, and then bedtime came around and it all blew up again. He gets wound up and spirals to a place where he has a hard time calming down. I was trying to help him, but I was tired too and my patience was wearing thin.
So why post this here? This is an example of when I would have opened a bottle of wine despite the "no drinking during the week" rule. If I had a bottle open, it would have been more difficult to resist. Being a parent is hard and it makes me think of more and more articles that are out there with mom's and their alcoholic drinking. Sometimes it feels too hard to cope and instead dull the anxiety, stress, and frustration that comes with trying to bring you're children up right with alcohol. How the bottle, if only for a brief moment, also is a way to quell the guilt, fear, and insecurity that we're not doing it right or well enough.
So, I went downstairs and made myself a cup of my Sweet Dreams tea (for which I am grateful). It's nice to replace the wine glass that normally would have been on my bedside table come morning with a mug that has a string and a tag hanging over the side. And I thought of a quote from RW Emerson:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely..."
My day has started serenly, for that I am thankful.
One of my kids seemed to be having a tough day - upset about little things and finding it hard to cope, recounting all of the negative things that happened during the day and so on and so on. I tried talking to him about not focusing on all the bad things - he had to balance it out with the good. So I asked him, what are a few things you are grateful for? He listed a few things that are the sort of general things I should be happy for (mom, dad, a house, etc. - although sweets were at the top of the list).
I didn't feel like he was getting it. So I told him it doesn't have to be a list or anything that happened to him. I gave him a few examples of things I was grateful for: the sunshine yesterday because it was nice to have a break in the rain and it made me feel happy; my Sweet Dreams tea because it gave me comfort and the heat and herbs were relaxing.
So we went to the lesson and all was fine. Came home and all was fine, and then bedtime came around and it all blew up again. He gets wound up and spirals to a place where he has a hard time calming down. I was trying to help him, but I was tired too and my patience was wearing thin.
So why post this here? This is an example of when I would have opened a bottle of wine despite the "no drinking during the week" rule. If I had a bottle open, it would have been more difficult to resist. Being a parent is hard and it makes me think of more and more articles that are out there with mom's and their alcoholic drinking. Sometimes it feels too hard to cope and instead dull the anxiety, stress, and frustration that comes with trying to bring you're children up right with alcohol. How the bottle, if only for a brief moment, also is a way to quell the guilt, fear, and insecurity that we're not doing it right or well enough.
So, I went downstairs and made myself a cup of my Sweet Dreams tea (for which I am grateful). It's nice to replace the wine glass that normally would have been on my bedside table come morning with a mug that has a string and a tag hanging over the side. And I thought of a quote from RW Emerson:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely..."
My day has started serenly, for that I am thankful.
good job.Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
This is so true. And it's awful that we can't use that glass of wine to get our bearings. My husband bought me a Keurig for Christmas, because he doesn't drink coffee and can't make it either, and now, as I walk in the door he hands me a fresh cup of perfect coffee. Then I fall asleep on the couch for twenty minutes.
This is instead of a glass of wine, then another, then out for dinner and drinks, then a bar...$80 minimum. Last night we ate in, drank soda, watched movies and I worked hard to embroider the eyes on a tiger quilt I've had across my dining room table for two months...what a joy!
This is instead of a glass of wine, then another, then out for dinner and drinks, then a bar...$80 minimum. Last night we ate in, drank soda, watched movies and I worked hard to embroider the eyes on a tiger quilt I've had across my dining room table for two months...what a joy!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 53
After going back and reading my post, I am finding the entire situation ironic.
On one hand, I am trying to teach my son some tools to deal with emotional difficulties yet I express that I would have had a drink in order to not deal with my own. I’ve learned something new: I have the tools (or some at least) to cope that do not involve drinking I just have not been using them. Never in a million years would I ever tell my son, “Yep, all that sucks. Here, have a nice drink and then you won’t have to think about it.” That’s exactly what I have been doing for myself though! Gosh it’s so glaring, like sunshine at midnight.
On one hand, I am trying to teach my son some tools to deal with emotional difficulties yet I express that I would have had a drink in order to not deal with my own. I’ve learned something new: I have the tools (or some at least) to cope that do not involve drinking I just have not been using them. Never in a million years would I ever tell my son, “Yep, all that sucks. Here, have a nice drink and then you won’t have to think about it.” That’s exactly what I have been doing for myself though! Gosh it’s so glaring, like sunshine at midnight.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by departure 
After going back and reading my post, I am finding the entire situation ironic.
On one hand, I am trying to teach my son some tools to deal with emotional difficulties yet I express that I would have had a drink in order to not deal with my own. I’ve learned something new: I have the tools (or some at least) to cope that do not involve drinking I just have not been using them. Never in a million years would I ever tell my son, “Yep, all that sucks. Here, have a nice drink and then you won’t have to think about it.” That’s exactly what I have been doing for myself though! Gosh it’s so glaring, like sunshine at midnight.
On one hand, I am trying to teach my son some tools to deal with emotional difficulties yet I express that I would have had a drink in order to not deal with my own. I’ve learned something new: I have the tools (or some at least) to cope that do not involve drinking I just have not been using them. Never in a million years would I ever tell my son, “Yep, all that sucks. Here, have a nice drink and then you won’t have to think about it.” That’s exactly what I have been doing for myself though! Gosh it’s so glaring, like sunshine at midnight.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
What a great post. Thanks for sharing that.
It's funny how we give our kids plenty of options on how to deal with tough circumstances but we never mention booze - when it (booze) seems to be our only solution to our problems when actively drinking. If only we followed our own advice.
Sounds like you handled it very well! Good job!
It's funny how we give our kids plenty of options on how to deal with tough circumstances but we never mention booze - when it (booze) seems to be our only solution to our problems when actively drinking. If only we followed our own advice.
Sounds like you handled it very well! Good job!
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