WaterofLife

Hangover symptoms have generally meant a kind of horrible anxiety, tremors, little things seem to make me have a sudden feelings of nervousness. Luckily, I can spend an entire day in an anxious hangover and somehow make it to the end of the day. The problem, is that there's this overwhelming knowledge throughout the horrible feelings that I'll be able to have a drink later....... what I really want, is to never "overdo it" and have this happen. This kind of white-knuckled sobriety isn't the commonplace. Normally, I drink just enough at the end of the day to fall asleep and wake up feeling okay... but when I overdo it or don't get enough water I'm in hell for 12 hours, I have a few beers and then force myself to sleep, don't drink the next day-- and go back to feeling great.

I just want it to stop. I'm such a happy, optimistic person and I'm tired of this secret about myself.

SSIL75

It's hard. Hoping you make the decision to quit, soon

OklaBH

(Us) alcoholics put a lot of thought into our drinking. Like you, I had it all planned out like some mad scientist. I would drink, nap, drink again...work at that perfect balance to stay buzzed but not get sick. You will find its much much easier being sober. The hard part is convincing our alcoholic brain that sober is the way to go. I wish you much luck. I know from experience its hard as hell

Bikeguy

I tried to deny my problem for a long time too, I never missed work because of drinking, I never got a DUI and for the most part a lot of people did not know I had a drinking problem. BUT drinking at night until you fall asleep (pass out) is a problem, I did this for years and believe my it only gets worse, soon your sneaking drinks during the day to make it until 5 pm, soon the hangovers feel worse and worse and involve shakes and panic (daily withdrawal). If you think you have a problem and are on Sober Recovery there is a very high chance you do have a problem and the sooner you address it the better.

saphira

I used to drink only to fall asleep, too... and often times in the morning I would feel "fine" meaning I wasn't sick. It's only since I've been sober for a few weeks that I realize that I was never fine. Waking up sober and waking up not sick are two completely different things. Waking up sober feels amazing! I don't know you or your whole story, but I agree with OklaBH. People who don't have a problem with alcohol don't have to plan out their drinking or really think about it at all. It is so easy to come up with excuses...the fact that I didn't wake up sick often is what kept me in denial for so long. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard for me to stay sober (especially on the weekends!) but there is a certain freedom in just knowing you're not going to drink that I haven't felt in a long time. In any case, I hope you use this site for support--it's amazing! Here you are never alone. Whatever you are feeling, someone else (or more likely--many others) here have felt the same thing. Good luck!!

LexieCat

You are physically dependent on alcohol and experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

That happened to me on a daily basis at the end of my drinking. The only cure I know of is to stop, just stop. For good. I spent four and a half years trying to moderate/control my drinking, but once I had crossed that line, there was no going back.

artsoul

Hi WOL- :ghug3I can relate..... I remember so many times I just had to "get through the day" which should have been a wake-up call in itself, yet still wanted to drink that evening.

Once I'd had a glass of wine (which for me was never the standard 5 oz.!) or a couple beers, I could lose that underlying anxiety and feel "normal" again. Of course, if I really wanted to feel "good" it would take a few drinks more. Then I'd find myself wanting to sustain that feeling (instead of the original goal of just having a few to help me go to sleep) and would justify "just one more." Where at first it took three beers or a couple glasses of wine to make me pleasantly buzzed and sleepy, it started taking more. Which meant more of "just getting through the day."

Of course, if I had succeeded in staying sober for a few days, I felt so good I figured I deserved a nice evening of drinking..... and so the cycle continued.

In others words, I didn't have very many days when I wasn't dealing with drinking vs. not drinking, weighing the options and dealing with the consequences.

I noticed that you joined about a year ago and read your first post about just wanting to moderate (which is 1 drink/day for women, 2 for men). Now that you've had a year to work on it, you should have a pretty good idea whether that's an option for you.......

CarolD

I found the longer I drank....the worse the hangovers became.
They are only going to quit when and if you abstain.

You mentioned 12 hours in duration?
That is a big chunk out of your day to feel rotten.

I too hope you will stop drinking...

bellakeller

Nobody should have to live that way. It's no way to live. You don't have to either if you quit.

Much love.

sarah14

Hello WOL, I had the same secret. I told my husband about the battle within and my dependence on alcohol to fall asleep. He is the only one I have told (other than people here) and that was a huge first step for me. I'm not sure of your life circumstances, but telling someone in your world might be the first step to freedom.

I hope you find freedom from the drinking cycle.