Husband is a Pill addict, and it's scaring me...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: california
Posts: 6
Husband is a Pill addict, and it's scaring me...
Hi everyone, I'm so new to this world, and never in my life thought I would be exposed to it...
About a year ago, I began noticing that my husband would have strange mood swings, say crazy things, and just act crazy in general. I began to find pills here and their in our house, and eventually confronted him. He claimed that he only used them every now and then...being the naive fool that I was, I beleived him. More time went on, and the pills began to grow in number. Then he told me they were just for a friend....once again, I beleived him.
Long story short, eventually (after stealing over $1000 from our saving), he confessed, and went for a short detox stint...everyting was better, and we were happy for the last year.
In January, it started again. I began to find pills, and he would say that they were just old ones that he found...Money would go missing, and he blamed it on the guys who word in his store...I always knew in my gut that he was lying, but I always wanted to beleive it. Finally, two weeks ago, I confronted him again, and over hours of talking and many tears, he swore up and down that he would never do that again, that it was over, and he wanted to start a family soon...I was the happiest woman in the world, so glad to have my husband (and our sex life) back.
Last night, my alarms went off again when he was acting funny...I asked, and he lied straight to my face and got very defensive...tonight I went through his phone, and saw text messages from someone telling him that the oxys would be there in the morning.
I'm devestated. Heartbroken, I don't know what to do anymore. I love this man, I really do. I don't know what to do...I'm beginning to realize that it's never going to change...I'm so afraid this is going to ruin us. He just lies and lies and lies...I'm so tired of crying and being suspicious all them time. Is there hope for me? For us? Has anyone been through this before?
About a year ago, I began noticing that my husband would have strange mood swings, say crazy things, and just act crazy in general. I began to find pills here and their in our house, and eventually confronted him. He claimed that he only used them every now and then...being the naive fool that I was, I beleived him. More time went on, and the pills began to grow in number. Then he told me they were just for a friend....once again, I beleived him.
Long story short, eventually (after stealing over $1000 from our saving), he confessed, and went for a short detox stint...everyting was better, and we were happy for the last year.
In January, it started again. I began to find pills, and he would say that they were just old ones that he found...Money would go missing, and he blamed it on the guys who word in his store...I always knew in my gut that he was lying, but I always wanted to beleive it. Finally, two weeks ago, I confronted him again, and over hours of talking and many tears, he swore up and down that he would never do that again, that it was over, and he wanted to start a family soon...I was the happiest woman in the world, so glad to have my husband (and our sex life) back.
Last night, my alarms went off again when he was acting funny...I asked, and he lied straight to my face and got very defensive...tonight I went through his phone, and saw text messages from someone telling him that the oxys would be there in the morning.
I'm devestated. Heartbroken, I don't know what to do anymore. I love this man, I really do. I don't know what to do...I'm beginning to realize that it's never going to change...I'm so afraid this is going to ruin us. He just lies and lies and lies...I'm so tired of crying and being suspicious all them time. Is there hope for me? For us? Has anyone been through this before?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Al Anon. I'm a recovering prescription pill addict and an awesome liar. I'm also the child of an alcoholic. Al Anon has helped me understand so much.
I'm so glad you are here, but sad that this is happening to you.
Stick around. Read, share and breathe. You are not alone.
I'm so glad you are here, but sad that this is happening to you.
Stick around. Read, share and breathe. You are not alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: california
Posts: 6
thank you for your kind words...i try to follow the advice "the trick is just to keep breathing..." but I feel myself being worn down, I feel myself backing away toward the exit sign, but I just can't bear the thought of leaving him...
how did you quit? is there anything I can do to help? I want to help, i've tried in every way I know how, but I just don't understand the appeal...
how did you quit? is there anything I can do to help? I want to help, i've tried in every way I know how, but I just don't understand the appeal...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi AlluneedisLOVE
Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of encouragement and support here, and lot of experience too
Have you read our Family and Friends forums? You'll also find a lot of help down there too
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of encouragement and support here, and lot of experience too
Have you read our Family and Friends forums? You'll also find a lot of help down there too
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by AlluneedisLOVE 
but I just don't understand the appeal...
What you are going through sucks hard. You asked if anyone has been through this... I have, and many many others have. I don't take pills anymore and haven't for 3 years in July. I am also still married! Relationships do survive this. Relationships are destroyed be this.
Sometimes the consequences of our behavior are enough to get us into recovery, thank God.
Head over to Friends and Family. There are others who have been through this and can help you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: california
Posts: 6
thank you all so much for your kind words...I went to the friends and family forum, and I can't believe how many wives have the same story to tell...thank you for your advice, thank you for your hope.
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Welcome ((alluneedislove)).
I am a recovering alcoholic and heroin addict as well as a still struggling pill addict. My history with using is extensive and I have basically switched from one substance to another for replacement over the last 10 years.
Thru the course of addiction I have lost alot of things, including my self respect and any love for myself. I have used to remain in a state of being numb. I "deal" with my painful childhood by covering up the pain and in the process only creating more problems. I have destroyed more than one relationship due to my addiction. Thankfully I am still married and have been with my husband for over 5 years now. I am seeking help for myself. For me to be the best mommy possible for my little girl. To finally find true happiness and learn to love myself. For the first time since my addiction began, I truly want help. I deserve to heal. My chronic pain does complicate things but I believe that I can do this.
We do recover, it is possible if we are willing.
Unfortunately until your husband TRULY wants to stop using for himself and only himself, he will not have a sucessful recovery. I have tried many times in the past to stop using for someone else and each time it failed miserably.
I am so sorry that you are going thru this and glad that you have posted in FF of substance abusers...there are SO many people who have been in your shoes.
You also need to remember it is SO important to take care of yourself over everything else!! I would also suggest Alanon, it has helped many.
Keep posting and best of luck to you.
-Jess
I am a recovering alcoholic and heroin addict as well as a still struggling pill addict. My history with using is extensive and I have basically switched from one substance to another for replacement over the last 10 years.
Thru the course of addiction I have lost alot of things, including my self respect and any love for myself. I have used to remain in a state of being numb. I "deal" with my painful childhood by covering up the pain and in the process only creating more problems. I have destroyed more than one relationship due to my addiction. Thankfully I am still married and have been with my husband for over 5 years now. I am seeking help for myself. For me to be the best mommy possible for my little girl. To finally find true happiness and learn to love myself. For the first time since my addiction began, I truly want help. I deserve to heal. My chronic pain does complicate things but I believe that I can do this.
We do recover, it is possible if we are willing.
Unfortunately until your husband TRULY wants to stop using for himself and only himself, he will not have a sucessful recovery. I have tried many times in the past to stop using for someone else and each time it failed miserably.
I am so sorry that you are going thru this and glad that you have posted in FF of substance abusers...there are SO many people who have been in your shoes.
You also need to remember it is SO important to take care of yourself over everything else!! I would also suggest Alanon, it has helped many.
Keep posting and best of luck to you.
-Jess
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by AlluneedisLOVE
Hi everyone, I'm so new to this world, and never in my life thought I would be exposed to it...
About a year ago, I began noticing that my husband would have strange mood swings, say crazy things, and just act crazy in general. I began to find pills here and their in our house, and eventually confronted him. He claimed that he only used them every now and then...being the naive fool that I was, I beleived him. More time went on, and the pills began to grow in number. Then he told me they were just for a friend....once again, I beleived him.
Long story short, eventually (after stealing over $1000 from our saving), he confessed, and went for a short detox stint...everyting was better, and we were happy for the last year.
In January, it started again. I began to find pills, and he would say that they were just old ones that he found...Money would go missing, and he blamed it on the guys who word in his store...I always knew in my gut that he was lying, but I always wanted to beleive it. Finally, two weeks ago, I confronted him again, and over hours of talking and many tears, he swore up and down that he would never do that again, that it was over, and he wanted to start a family soon...I was the happiest woman in the world, so glad to have my husband (and our sex life) back.
Last night, my alarms went off again when he was acting funny...I asked, and he lied straight to my face and got very defensive...tonight I went through his phone, and saw text messages from someone telling him that the oxys would be there in the morning.
I'm devestated. Heartbroken, I don't know what to do anymore. I love this man, I really do. I don't know what to do...I'm beginning to realize that it's never going to change...I'm so afraid this is going to ruin us. He just lies and lies and lies...I'm so tired of crying and being suspicious all them time. Is there hope for me? For us? Has anyone been through this before?
About a year ago, I began noticing that my husband would have strange mood swings, say crazy things, and just act crazy in general. I began to find pills here and their in our house, and eventually confronted him. He claimed that he only used them every now and then...being the naive fool that I was, I beleived him. More time went on, and the pills began to grow in number. Then he told me they were just for a friend....once again, I beleived him.
Long story short, eventually (after stealing over $1000 from our saving), he confessed, and went for a short detox stint...everyting was better, and we were happy for the last year.
In January, it started again. I began to find pills, and he would say that they were just old ones that he found...Money would go missing, and he blamed it on the guys who word in his store...I always knew in my gut that he was lying, but I always wanted to beleive it. Finally, two weeks ago, I confronted him again, and over hours of talking and many tears, he swore up and down that he would never do that again, that it was over, and he wanted to start a family soon...I was the happiest woman in the world, so glad to have my husband (and our sex life) back.
Last night, my alarms went off again when he was acting funny...I asked, and he lied straight to my face and got very defensive...tonight I went through his phone, and saw text messages from someone telling him that the oxys would be there in the morning.
I'm devestated. Heartbroken, I don't know what to do anymore. I love this man, I really do. I don't know what to do...I'm beginning to realize that it's never going to change...I'm so afraid this is going to ruin us. He just lies and lies and lies...I'm so tired of crying and being suspicious all them time. Is there hope for me? For us? Has anyone been through this before?
You say that you are afraid this is going to ruin you.
Your instincts are correct. Be very afraid.
Take protective actions RIGHT NOW.
For example, if you have bank accounts that your husband cannot access, put your earnings there. Do not place them in joint accounts where he can steal to feed his addiction, as he has already done.
If you need to transfer money to someone that you absolutely trust, such as your parents, do it.
Make no mistake:
Addiction is a black hole that will indiscriminately consume all of your family’s finances and emotional resources, and then still demand more, on credit.
Do whatever it takes to protect yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
How did I get clean? I went to rehab.
It's so much more than that though.
One step at a time. I'm still married, going on 15 years next month.
There is hope. Al Anon will help you so much.
It's so much more than that though.
One step at a time. I'm still married, going on 15 years next month.
There is hope. Al Anon will help you so much.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
How did I get clean? I went to rehab.
It's so much more than that though.
One step at a time. I'm still married, going on 15 years next month.
There is hope. Al Anon will help you so much.
It's so much more than that though.
One step at a time. I'm still married, going on 15 years next month.
There is hope. Al Anon will help you so much.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by AlluneedisLOVE
how did you quit? is there anything I can do to help? I want to help, i've tried in every way I know how, but I just don't understand the appeal...
The drugs have literally blown his mind, and he has acquired a perverted survival drive which is stronger than legitimate survival drives such as those for food, sex, or shelter.
His body quite literally believes, erroneously, that he needs the drugs to survive.
Protect yourself. If he doesn't quit, the time will come when you will be glad that you did.
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