I finally see the "disease"
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I finally see the "disease"
After almost 20 years of marriage to an A and a separation and divorce, today I finally see it. Clearly.
It was an email of his that did it. I read it and it was insane. And for the first time, my reaction to his insane rantings wasn't "Oh that's just him, he gets like that." I could read it and see that this is off the wall bloody crazy.
And it makes me sad. I've spent so much time hating him. Being angry at him Just wishing a grand piano would drop on him or something. A whale. And all of a sudden I understand that he's gone mentally. Gone. As much as if he had something eating his brain. And I can almost feel compassion for him. Almost.
I can take a deep breath and circle back and work the steps. Again. Because whether the disease is alcoholism, or caused by alcoholism, or was covered up by alcoholism -- the program works.
It was an email of his that did it. I read it and it was insane. And for the first time, my reaction to his insane rantings wasn't "Oh that's just him, he gets like that." I could read it and see that this is off the wall bloody crazy.
And it makes me sad. I've spent so much time hating him. Being angry at him Just wishing a grand piano would drop on him or something. A whale. And all of a sudden I understand that he's gone mentally. Gone. As much as if he had something eating his brain. And I can almost feel compassion for him. Almost.
I can take a deep breath and circle back and work the steps. Again. Because whether the disease is alcoholism, or caused by alcoholism, or was covered up by alcoholism -- the program works.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
Originally Posted by lillamy 
...Because whether the disease is alcoholism, or caused by alcoholism, or was covered up by alcoholism...
CLMI
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