Domsux138

Has anyone had people try and bring them down for doing so? I've been sober for almost a month.

So far, people have told me dumb, idiotic, insensitive things such as:

"You just need to not drink SO much, Dom"
"You aren't an alcoholic, you don't need it to function"
Etc. All of these people act like I don't understand my own problem. Alcoholism has run through my family for years, and killed my father of cirrhosis at the age of 24, I'm 21.

Then I wake up at 4 in the morning from a blank, anonymous facebook saying that A.A. isn't going to help me, I should kill myself, and that none of my friends care about me, and all make jokes about my drinking behind my back. Of course I do not feel suicidal, or even remotely want to hurt myself over this message, but it certainly did not make me feel good.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this while trying to get sober?

Anna

I didn't tell anyone I had stopped drinking.

That worked well for me.

laurie6781

Yes, the ones I told did similar. Guess my NOT drinking threatened them somehow and might make them look at themselves.

I ended up with all new friends and acquaintances once I was in recovery and it was the best thing I ever did for me.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

CarolD

All my drinking friends thought I was nutso when I told
them I was headed into a sober future and had joined AA.

this gave me a chance to fine new sober friends with my goal of lasting sobriety.
Since them...most of the former nay sayers have died of various causes related to alcohol.

Sorry to know of your Dad's early death.

I'm glad you are moving froward regardless of who thinks what ..where
or why....it's the best thing for you....

Dee74

For me, a lot of people just didn't understand...I just had to 'not drink so much'.
A lot of them still supported me tho...but a lot of my 'friends' also felt threatened or uncomfortable by my stopping drinking.

I worked hard to surround myself with supportive people, and cut the toxic folks out.

D

EmeraldRose

One of the first things we were told in rehab was to change your playground and playmates. There are good people out there. Really. I have found quite a few in the 70+ days I've been sober.
You need supportive people not people that will undermine your goal. Go with your gut, stay focused and drive on. You will be surprised at the path that is already layed out for you. Don't resist life just pursue it.

And welcome. I'm glad you are here. Good job on the sober time -keep it up!

Reset

Same here.

LaFemme

Congrats on your month!

I am sorry about the hateful comments on FB...it sounds like you need some new friends. I told no one I quit in order to avoid what you are going through.

We are happy you are here.

artsoul

Sounds like some of them have a bit of a maturity problem........ Just go with the people who support you and keep going - you're doing great!

CHUCKD

How do you get an anonymous facebook message? If any of my friends sent me something along those lines I'd probably take it upon myself to choke them out.

Ranger

Dom - Firstly, I'm proud of you buddy.

You are displaying maturity far beyond your years. For this reason, when dealing with friends I recommend you consider grace on a case by case basis. While some of your friends truly have no place in your sobriety, others might simply be ignorant.

It's easy to lose sight of the fact you guys are barely out of teenagedom. When I first got sober I had friends nearly twice your age who didn't understand. As time passed, however, the "keepers" learned/accepted the truth of my situation and climbed aboard the "Ranger Sobriety Train". Obviously, I'm glad I didn't dismiss these people out of hand for their insensitive/uneducated initial reactions to my abstinence.

Eddiebuckle

Dom,

Sorry to hear about all that. Trying to explain sobriety to non-alcoholics is like trying to describe a sunrise to a blind person.

You obviously know how life turns out if you continue to drink. Never lose sight of that fact. Maybe those people don't know anyone who's an active alcoholic, but more likely your sobriety is threatening to them. To thine own self be true, Dom. And get some new friends, sounds like some of your current ones are beyond their expiration dates.

yoli

I just told my friends I was on a health quest (which is true). The only ones that asked me to drink more than once, also had a drinking problem.

dingding

I would never have been able to stop at your age. Well done. I am sure that i would have been one of the people giving you a hard time when i was 21.

Keep going

Genjen

Everyone I have told understands. I'm not a spring chicken and don't have a large group of buddys I partied with, was an at home, isolator drinker...

Good luck tho, sounds like those people aren't worth your time anymore sorry to say, make some friends who understand now.

SoCalDude

I have the same problem.. my Sign Other just says, "You just need to make sure you don't drink too much..."

That doesn't work for me, I don't know how to moderate anymore, and when I look back I didn't when I first started drinking either..

Only people that are going through what you are, will understand.

Mcribb

Spend some real time working on not careing what people think. How? Work on it. when you find yourself caring what people think focus your mind on what to do to make your recovery better.

whiskers31

yes...you will find your true friends as compared to your "drinking buddies". Just ignore them if possible and try to avoid situations where drinking is the main focus...at your age, that might be tough, but it will be worth it. I told my friends it is a health decision but they still believe I am going to start drinking soon. Stay strong.....I admire your determination at your age...wish I had that insight back then....if someone told me to stop drinking at age 21, it would be an alien thought to me......

MsCooterBrown

I admire you ..At 21 I knew I had a problem but did nothing about it. From the time I started drinking I drank to get drunk. Even in high school..we planned on where we were headed to get drunk. People that are "normal" really don't get it..People that try to talk you into it are most likely alcoholics that don't wanna lose you as a drinking buddy. PLUS it sometimes freaks people out because it makes them pause and look at their own drinking habits. When I quit drinking I told a few people that I care about.
The facebook comments had to have been made by a drinking buddy. Big difference between friends and drinking buddies. Friends care about you..drinking buddies..not so much! Hang in there. You are in the right frame of mind..

MsCooterBrown

I didn't read Whiskers post...I see we think alike!!