nataliemarie

So I'm on Day one of stopping my what's become daily dose of roxycontin. The last dose I took was yesterday morning and I only had half a 30. By 4 pm, I took a nap and then woke up to feel like ****. Smoked some weed to chill me out and delay the symptoms a little. This has been going on for a little over a year now, it started with using it recreationally over the weekend and I currently moved out with my boyfriend and I got to doing it every day. Not as much as some people do, but getting up to blowing a whole R just to feel normal is enough to scare me. I used to split a half a 30 with the boyfriend and be gooood. This is getting ridiculous. Plus, they're 30 bucks a pill now so I'm going through like 60-90 bucks a day. My boyfriend and I came to each other and had a serious discussion for a while about how this needs to end. I'm at work today and the scariest thing is I work on weekends and go to school during the week and I don't want to be at work/school freaking out because I feel like ****. I wanted to put aside some days to just withdraw but there's no way I can miss anymore class (because I used to skip all the time because I would sleep for endless hours bc the roxy kept me up late). I have everything going for me, I'm the editor of my college newspaper, I plan on going to law school, i have a loving family and boyfriend. I'm just so depressed all the time and moody. I'm scared. The Restless Legs are freakin' killing me I feel like they have pins and needles stuck in them. My fam doesn't know but god, i wish they did so I could cry in my mom's arms. How am I supposed to live life while I'm withdrawing from R's? Any advice would be appreciated. My will is weak and has been weak ever since I was little, I don't know how to say no to myself. But I can't keep digging this hole.... the entire "just do a little line to feel normal" thing needs to stop. I was chasing that first high I got a year ago, but it'll never happen again, it takes like 2 and a half R's now to even feel mesed up. And that's a lot of money for a college student to be dishing out.

Anna

Welcome!

I'm glad you found us. You will be able to get through this.

Dee74

Hi nataliemarie - I've never taken roxies - have you thought about seeing a Dr?
It may help.

I also really advise against the weed - it's really easy to get cross addicted and get hooked on something else when coming off your drug of choice.

Have you tried any support like NA or some other recovery group?

We also have a substance abuse forum here you may be interested in...

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

best of luck with yr progress

D

artsoul

Welcome Natalie - I'm so sorry you find yourself in that vicious cycle..... just know that there is something much better on the other side. I understand about not wanting to miss class, but your life is important too - can you find time to go to the doc on campus?

I'm glad you're reaching out for help.

EmeraldRose

Welcome Natalie. I can't help you with the addiction but I can say from experience...Tell Your Mom.
I drank all of my adult life. I did stupid crap when I was a teenager and just never gave up that first drink until I lost my job. No one knew...not my Mom, Dad or Brother...after 30 years. THIRTY YEARS...my gods.
It all caught up to me and I lost my new job after being separated from my husband.
My Mom called just because...she asked...so how's the job?
Well, it was right there and then I knew it was time. I had been lying to them all these years. They never even had a clue. After I spilled my guts it was like they'd always known.
The next day my Dad sent me flowers (we are living 1400 miles apart) because he said I needed a smile. They are my biggest support. I call them more now than ever - to share the good news and I can call to share my bad days.
Try it, Nat...you're Mom's arms are waiting for you.

Latte

I never saw myself turning into an addict either.

There is help.

You aren't alone.

The worst part are the first few days, just remember, it does get better.

cantakeit

I just 5 min. ago got off the phone with my mom, I'am 47 yrs, old. She still understands, mom's have got to be the best people on earth.