JACKRUSSELLGIRL

Anyone feel like it just takes so long to move on from an A? One minute I feel good and the next I feel so so again. I am so tired of it all and want to know if anyone else feels like this process can be so sloww? The reason I am asking is because he is being Mr. Nice Guy and I keep "Playing the tape all the way" so I can not get sucked back in.

I just want to move on and be really done with all this crap. I do not know what is worse soemtimes, Mr. Niceguy or A**hole. At lest when he is being an A you know you have made the right decision.

kittykitty

In my experience, the first process of letting go is "no contact". No phone calls, texts, emails, letters, nothing. That way I can't get sucked back in to the "nice guy" routine. It order to move completely forward, I had to leave everything behind. Everything.

The first time I did it, I tried no contact for a few weeks and he managed to still get inside my head, and I ended up going back. 6 months later I am back at square one, finally i've learned my lesson. Some days are still bad, but I let myself get emotional, and feel the sadness. That's the only healthy way I can hope to move forward, is getting it all out now.

I'm with you on this one, I wish it didn't take so long, and hurt so much at times.

Babyblue

Getting past it is a process. Up down, forwards, backwards. Hard to say how long but I think putting other things in place that are healthy and rewarding really makes all the difference. But I know how you feel, I'll be feeling strong and all 'whateverrr!' and then BAM I am a mess all over again. And this is me NOT interacting with him.

I think because we are torn; we don't want to hurt someone when they are down but it is at a cost to our sanity. But don't beat yourself up! I see that so much on SR about how we are somehow at fault for caring or breaking no contact. It is about our own emotional needs and the trick is to take care of them in some other way besides the A in our lives.