what_has_sobriety_taught_you?
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
what_has_sobriety_taught_you?
Hi all-
I see a lot of posts around here about what we don't miss about drinking. Don't get me wrong, I love those threads, but let's look at the flip side of that coin.
What have you learned in sobriety?
I'm an AA'er and I think the steps are perfect for me, but I understand and appreciate there are other methods and other programs, so regardless of your recovery program (or lack-there-of), what have you learned so far?
Ok, I'll go first.
1. I've learned that learning takes time and more often than not, I don't get it right the first time around and I shouldn't just quit b/c of that.
2. I've learned that (in general) the more I'm quiet and the less I talk, the better my life is
3. I've learned that when I do make a mistake or harm someone else, to apologize and make it right, right away.
4. I've learned to appreciate the fact that I don't know everything and will never know everything. Constantly learning and keeping an open mind comes from this.
5. I've learned not to believe everything I think (this was a lightbulb moment for me).
6. I've learned that when I live in today and when I try my best, then no matter what...no-matter-what happens, I can always try again tomorrow.
What has your program and/or sobriety taught you?
Kjell~
I see a lot of posts around here about what we don't miss about drinking. Don't get me wrong, I love those threads, but let's look at the flip side of that coin.
What have you learned in sobriety?
I'm an AA'er and I think the steps are perfect for me, but I understand and appreciate there are other methods and other programs, so regardless of your recovery program (or lack-there-of), what have you learned so far?
Ok, I'll go first.
1. I've learned that learning takes time and more often than not, I don't get it right the first time around and I shouldn't just quit b/c of that.
2. I've learned that (in general) the more I'm quiet and the less I talk, the better my life is
3. I've learned that when I do make a mistake or harm someone else, to apologize and make it right, right away.
4. I've learned to appreciate the fact that I don't know everything and will never know everything. Constantly learning and keeping an open mind comes from this.
5. I've learned not to believe everything I think (this was a lightbulb moment for me).
6. I've learned that when I live in today and when I try my best, then no matter what...no-matter-what happens, I can always try again tomorrow.
What has your program and/or sobriety taught you?
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Sobriety has taught me that my life is better without alcohol, and it has taught me that after the first few weeks it is pretty easy to live this way.
It has also taught me that there are a whole lot of people who wish they were sober which I never realized when I was drinking. Drinking is one big lie.
It has also taught me that there are a whole lot of people who wish they were sober which I never realized when I was drinking. Drinking is one big lie.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
I have learned that sometimes I CAN take care of unpleasant things right away, and sometimes I need to let them sit a little before I can address them - but they still need to be addressed.
I have learned that shame is a waste of time.
I have learned that people like me better when I'm sober/not hung over... even people who didn't know I was a drinker.
I have learned that shame is a waste of time.
I have learned that people like me better when I'm sober/not hung over... even people who didn't know I was a drinker.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
I've learned that I am a wholly self contained unit. All the chemicals I need to be happy are already in my body, I was born with them. Also, all of my pleasure (not happiness) comes from my 5 senses. Whether it's a striking color that catches my eye, or infectious laughter I hear, or the gentle touch of my wife. Why would I do anything that would dull those pleasures. The thought That I need to take something from outside my body and put it in there to get pleasure is utterly irrational. What a lot of people don't understand is that addictions have NOTHING to do with intellect or rational thinking.
Ron
Ron
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Supercrew 
Sobriety has taught me that my life is better without alcohol, and it has taught me that after the first few weeks it is pretty easy to live this way.
It has also taught me that there are a whole lot of people who wish they were sober which I never realized when I was drinking. Drinking is one big lie.
It has also taught me that there are a whole lot of people who wish they were sober which I never realized when I was drinking. Drinking is one big lie.
There is a darker side which says 'yeah, 12 days big deal.' But I think I'm beating myself up too much about this. My alcohol specialists say it's a big deal what I'm doing and I should be proud but this part of me does wonder about when I can start to celebrate.
I also agree that there are a surprising number of people who are dealing with their own issues or supporting someone who wants/needs to stop.
I've started my own gincup blog on Tumblr in which I am being completely candid about my drinking, past, present and future. I have been surprised with the number of people asking me personal questions about them or saying how much they relate to issues I've spoken about. I hope my insight gives at least a little comfort, support, or gentle push to all those people.
I'm also following a lot of blogs of the partners or children of alcoholics. I've found this to be an incredibly positive way to see the other side, to understand what I've put others through, simply because there's so much of the last 10 years I don't remember.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by Kjell
1. I've learned that learning takes time and more often than not, I don't get it right the first time around and I shouldn't just quit b/c of that.
2. I've learned that (in general) the more I'm quiet and the less I talk, the better my life is
3. I've learned that when I do make a mistake or harm someone else, to apologize and make it right, right away.
4. I've learned to appreciate the fact that I don't know everything and will never know everything. Constantly learning and keeping an open mind comes from this.
5. I've learned not to believe everything I think (this was a lightbulb moment for me).
6. I've learned that when I live in today and when I try my best, then no matter what...no-matter-what happens, I can always try again tomorrow.
Kjell~
I've learned so much in recovery. One of the biggest things is exactly how little I knew when I came into it. Sure, I knew what I was taught in school, I new how to be a good golfer, I knew how to manipulate and get my way, I knew quite a bit, but in terms of living on this earth without needing alcohol to be my solution - I knew nothing...
For me booze was my security blanket. When I got sober and that was taken away I felt so vulnerable. By working the program, listening to you fine folks, taking direction from others, listening to recovery tapes, and asking my HP to help be ready and willing to see him throughout the day, I've gotten better....
Great topic. Best of luck to all!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: dayton, oh
Posts: 487
I have learned that who I am, what I like about myself and how I choose to spend my time is ok. It does not matter what other people think. I consider myself a success because of who I am on the inside.
SH
SH
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Great post, Kjell !?!
One thing that comes to mind, ...changing my old concept of "look at what I've done " ..as reflected in whatever result comes.
Looking at results as nothing I can ever, ever completely control; .......knowing the only thing I can control, really, really control is my effort.
Sometimes the results are great, sometimes well short of "great",
............... sometimes almost failure. Anyway, it helps keep my ego in check, and know that successes are actually gifts we experience, ....
....and when things aren't going as good as I "expect" .....is just proof I need to lower (or eliminate altogether !?!) expectations.
For me, a stronger work ethic (in life, in recovery), helps waaaay more.
One thing that comes to mind, ...changing my old concept of "look at what I've done " ..as reflected in whatever result comes.
Looking at results as nothing I can ever, ever completely control; .......knowing the only thing I can control, really, really control is my effort.
Sometimes the results are great, sometimes well short of "great",
............... sometimes almost failure. Anyway, it helps keep my ego in check, and know that successes are actually gifts we experience, ....
....and when things aren't going as good as I "expect" .....is just proof I need to lower (or eliminate altogether !?!) expectations.
For me, a stronger work ethic (in life, in recovery), helps waaaay more.
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by reggiewayne
When I feel connected I tend to "feel" good no matter what is going on around. When I don't feel connected I often "feel" bad even if things are going OK....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by gincup
There is a darker side which says 'yeah, 12 days big deal.' But I think I'm beating myself up too much about this. My alcohol specialists say it's a big deal what I'm doing and I should be proud but this part of me does wonder about when I can start to celebrate.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 107
Ok Ok I am 2 days into it.... so haven't learned much from Sobriety.
Yesterday I took my 4 yr old to the park, and actually paid attention to her. I wasn't texting friends, planning my weekend, or hung over. Being Sober with my daughter at the park taught me - that life is so precious and the pride she had all of her face while doing the rock climber is something I take for granted.
Yesterday I took my 4 yr old to the park, and actually paid attention to her. I wasn't texting friends, planning my weekend, or hung over. Being Sober with my daughter at the park taught me - that life is so precious and the pride she had all of her face while doing the rock climber is something I take for granted.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
(Loved your post, StrongEnuf - that's what it's all about!)
Good topic K! (But you're makin' me think, haha)
I've learned:
1. That I actually deserve a good life.
2. That when I was caught in addiction I was sicker than I thought.
3. That taking everything one day at a time is the best way to live - the more
"present" I am, the bigger the "present."
4. That we all have pain and are looking for love. I have more compassion
today, because everyone has their own burdens and weaknesses.
5. That healing can sometimes be painful.
6. That I can do things in spite of my fears.
I'm sure there are a hundred more! Thanks for the post!:ghug3
Good topic K! (But you're makin' me think, haha)
I've learned:
1. That I actually deserve a good life.
2. That when I was caught in addiction I was sicker than I thought.
3. That taking everything one day at a time is the best way to live - the more
"present" I am, the bigger the "present."
4. That we all have pain and are looking for love. I have more compassion
today, because everyone has their own burdens and weaknesses.
5. That healing can sometimes be painful.
6. That I can do things in spite of my fears.
I'm sure there are a hundred more! Thanks for the post!:ghug3
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Mark75
I've been able to "see" myself as I am. I better understand my relationship with others, and, with God. I am able to connect with others in more meaningful ways.
...and wasn't this our fundamental problem the whole time?
Kjell~
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Great thread . .
I've learned
-that I'm not perfect, and never will be, and that it's not only okay, but good
-that with patience, strength, and acceptance, all my emotional upsets can be slowly be resolved
-that faith is not the same thing as belief
-that gratitude is the best mood alteration drug available, with the fewest side effects
-that I have the potential to be my own greatest enemy, or my own greatest champion
-that my ability to learn is only limited by my inability to listen
-that I own my life
-that I need other people, and that's okay
-that other people need me, and that's okay too
I've learned
-that I'm not perfect, and never will be, and that it's not only okay, but good
-that with patience, strength, and acceptance, all my emotional upsets can be slowly be resolved
-that faith is not the same thing as belief
-that gratitude is the best mood alteration drug available, with the fewest side effects
-that I have the potential to be my own greatest enemy, or my own greatest champion
-that my ability to learn is only limited by my inability to listen
-that I own my life
-that I need other people, and that's okay
-that other people need me, and that's okay too
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
what a great thread!
Ive learned that:
*Im not going to be liked by everyone-and thats ok
*not everyone drinks
*i can do a lot of good by just listening (for myself and others)
*instant gratification and self-medicating dont work
*bad days still happen but drinking makes them worse
*i created this mess
*im an alcoholic and cant drink
Ive learned that:
*Im not going to be liked by everyone-and thats ok
*not everyone drinks
*i can do a lot of good by just listening (for myself and others)
*instant gratification and self-medicating dont work
*bad days still happen but drinking makes them worse
*i created this mess
*im an alcoholic and cant drink
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