Damn Fridays
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
Damn Fridays
One week today.... don't go out tonight. Don't think that just because I don't have to get up for work tomorrow that it is okay to get completely sh**housed.
Don't think that it has been such a long week and I deserve it. Or that by 7:39 in the morning I have already had four invitations from the girls to go out, so why not? Don't think that everybody else is doing it, they're all going to get drunk and party, so why shouldn't I. Just don't think. How do I stop my mind from justifying all the reasons that drinking tonight would be okay?
It's been one week with out a drink. I've already thought about it over 50 times today. This sh** sucks.
Don't think that it has been such a long week and I deserve it. Or that by 7:39 in the morning I have already had four invitations from the girls to go out, so why not? Don't think that everybody else is doing it, they're all going to get drunk and party, so why shouldn't I. Just don't think. How do I stop my mind from justifying all the reasons that drinking tonight would be okay?
It's been one week with out a drink. I've already thought about it over 50 times today. This sh** sucks.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
it'll get easier. Sober living is a different kind of life. It's not sustainable, IME to just not do the old thing but not do any new things, either.
What does your new life look like? How do you unwind on a Friday now? These are things to think about as you actively build, plan and enjoy sober living. It was critical for me to get to a point where I didn't feel deprived. Sober life has opened up opportunities for me. It's a life of opportunity, not deprivation.
What does your new life look like? How do you unwind on a Friday now? These are things to think about as you actively build, plan and enjoy sober living. It was critical for me to get to a point where I didn't feel deprived. Sober life has opened up opportunities for me. It's a life of opportunity, not deprivation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
I hear you. Weekends in general suck. I missed a party last night already. And there's another one tonight, and two others tomorrow (picnic during the day, with mimosas and plain champagne) and party in the evening.
But this is how I'm dealing with it: last night, instead of going to the party, I went to an AA meeting.
Same thing tonight. I am new to AA as a process, but I have to tell you, it was SO helpful to be amongst people who ALL understood what I was feeling, as opposed to being at a party where no one would understand my frustration or resentment.
Now that's a real party - being around people who GET you, as opposed to people who don't.
Best of luck to you on getting through the weekend. Check back here also - you're definitely not alone in your feelings.
Hugs,
Z.
But this is how I'm dealing with it: last night, instead of going to the party, I went to an AA meeting.
Same thing tonight. I am new to AA as a process, but I have to tell you, it was SO helpful to be amongst people who ALL understood what I was feeling, as opposed to being at a party where no one would understand my frustration or resentment.
Now that's a real party - being around people who GET you, as opposed to people who don't.
Best of luck to you on getting through the weekend. Check back here also - you're definitely not alone in your feelings.
Hugs,
Z.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
It is totally a new life of opportunity. I guess in a way I was lucky since I drank alone most weekends towards the end. I will tell you I slept a lot in the beginning of sobriety....my body needed a lot of healing and at almost 9 months I am still healing. I wish I had quit earlier when I was more resilient but everything happens for a reason.
Getting obliterated isn't really fun anyways...its just something to do...so find something else.
Sink! That's great that you are going to meetings
Getting obliterated isn't really fun anyways...its just something to do...so find something else.
Sink! That's great that you are going to meetings
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
My life didn't necessarily have to change, but my thinking did. Once you start realizing you aren't really missing anything, because first of all you don't normally remember much to begin with and secondly the stuff you remember is normally bad, and then you have a hangover to remind you. Quit acting like drinking is so great, if it was really that great would you be on a website forum trying to quit because you hate what it does to you?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
Ugh, I'm at 25 days sober today and this is the first Friday it hasn't been in the front of my mind. Hang in there - try and plan something that you can look forward to tonight. A sober treat. Get a guilty-pleasure movie rental. Eat pizza. Schedule a pedicure. Take a bubble bath. Indulge, just not in alcohol. Don't drink today. It helps me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Shift your perspective.
Instead of damn Fridays, look at the weekend as an opportunity.
Instead of thinking what you can't do, think about what you can do - call a friend to go out for coffee, go to a movie, go shopping, take a long walk. There are lots of things you can do that will take the focus off 'not drinking'.
Instead of damn Fridays, look at the weekend as an opportunity.
Instead of thinking what you can't do, think about what you can do - call a friend to go out for coffee, go to a movie, go shopping, take a long walk. There are lots of things you can do that will take the focus off 'not drinking'.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Hopeful-
I know exactly how you feel. When I first started to get sober (and I had a few false starts), the weekend terrified me.
There was honestly too much time in the day for me.
How pathetic is that? I couldn't handle how much life I had (think about that).
This is where going to an AA meeting is perfect. In the very least, it'll give you a place to go where you can be with people just like you.
Don't just sit around and expect your thoughts to go away. You're going to have to participate in your own recovery.
Do something, anything, everything different.
Kjell~
I know exactly how you feel. When I first started to get sober (and I had a few false starts), the weekend terrified me.
There was honestly too much time in the day for me.
How pathetic is that? I couldn't handle how much life I had (think about that).
This is where going to an AA meeting is perfect. In the very least, it'll give you a place to go where you can be with people just like you.
Don't just sit around and expect your thoughts to go away. You're going to have to participate in your own recovery.
Do something, anything, everything different.
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
It does suck when friends can go out and have
fun and drink and stop when they've had enough
or make it home successfully, no arguements, no
consequenses, no dwi's and so on and I can't.
Sure I tried countless times to drink successfully
to only regret the troubles that followed it. Then
family stepped in to help with an intervention
sending me to a 28 day rehab where I picked up
the tools and knowledge of my alcoholism and
was set on the path of recovery to learn to live
a day at a time with out alcohol as a part of it.
That was 20 yrs ago and today I still incorperate
those tools and knowledge of the steps and principles
set down before us in my everyday life.
Today I have a purpose in life and that purpose to
to share my own experiences strengths and hopes
of what it was like before during and after alcohol
to those who still suffer from alcoholism.
In doing so I am another day sober not regreting
the past and enjoying the rewards of the promises
stated to us in our Big Book of AA.
Share ur story to give hope to those who will follow
you and you will enjoy life as well with a freedom
you've never known before. Sobriety is awesome.
You'll see.
fun and drink and stop when they've had enough
or make it home successfully, no arguements, no
consequenses, no dwi's and so on and I can't.
Sure I tried countless times to drink successfully
to only regret the troubles that followed it. Then
family stepped in to help with an intervention
sending me to a 28 day rehab where I picked up
the tools and knowledge of my alcoholism and
was set on the path of recovery to learn to live
a day at a time with out alcohol as a part of it.
That was 20 yrs ago and today I still incorperate
those tools and knowledge of the steps and principles
set down before us in my everyday life.
Today I have a purpose in life and that purpose to
to share my own experiences strengths and hopes
of what it was like before during and after alcohol
to those who still suffer from alcoholism.
In doing so I am another day sober not regreting
the past and enjoying the rewards of the promises
stated to us in our Big Book of AA.
Share ur story to give hope to those who will follow
you and you will enjoy life as well with a freedom
you've never known before. Sobriety is awesome.
You'll see.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
hopeful - I feel for you. :ghug3 I felt the same way that first weekend (I think I spent most of it on this forum force-feeding myself some recovery)
Instead of imagining and dwelling on the party scene with the girls, fast forward through the brief hour or two of "having fun" to the next several scenes (the consequences of being drunk, the hangover, the continuation of the vicious cycle, the wasted money, the craving that will be there again tomorrow).
You deserve a life free of addiction/obsession.
The cravings/urges are normal - and the alcoholic voice will try to convince you that you're missing out, that the only way you can be happy is to drink. It's all a lie....... You may not be able to see it right now, but you will get stronger and life will get better. Please hang in there!
:ghug3
Instead of imagining and dwelling on the party scene with the girls, fast forward through the brief hour or two of "having fun" to the next several scenes (the consequences of being drunk, the hangover, the continuation of the vicious cycle, the wasted money, the craving that will be there again tomorrow).
You deserve a life free of addiction/obsession.
The cravings/urges are normal - and the alcoholic voice will try to convince you that you're missing out, that the only way you can be happy is to drink. It's all a lie....... You may not be able to see it right now, but you will get stronger and life will get better. Please hang in there!
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 107
I am right there with you, this is my first Friday .....
I am making it an early evening renting a new movie that came out this week (meet the Fockers). Can't order Pizza cause I am broke, due to 2 binges this week.... (funny how so many guys will buy me beer when I go out...but no one runs over to buy me pizza when I stay home Hmmmm).
Having an early morning at the baseball field with my kids, then considering going to the skate park and getting some use out of my roller blades that I havent used more than once :-)
Also plan on planting some flowers sometime over the weekend, and getting some cleaning projects completed this weeked.
I am making it an early evening renting a new movie that came out this week (meet the Fockers). Can't order Pizza cause I am broke, due to 2 binges this week.... (funny how so many guys will buy me beer when I go out...but no one runs over to buy me pizza when I stay home Hmmmm).
Having an early morning at the baseball field with my kids, then considering going to the skate park and getting some use out of my roller blades that I havent used more than once :-)
Also plan on planting some flowers sometime over the weekend, and getting some cleaning projects completed this weeked.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
I love my weekends now. The first couple were difficult. I remember how proud I was of myself on Monday mornings still sober though. I did nice things for myself. I had a massage on Friday after work. Then went home to hot chocolate and a movie. After the massage, going out didn't even seem appealing!
I found all kinds of things to do around the house. I planted herbs, did some cleaning and maintenance...etc.
Now, just a short time later, I look forward to waking up early without a hangover and I have tons of new hobbies to keep me busy.
I know not everyone chooses to do this, but I found that being around alcohol and people drinking came fairly easy after about the first month. I could not have done that immediately. Now I do go out with my friends as the designated driver and I have a good time. I do have safeguards in place. My boyfriend is always with me and I make sure I tell everyone that I am the responsible person, making sure everyone gets home safe. Again, I stress, this is not something I could have enjoyed doing immediately.
Don't give in this early in the game. It gets easier over time. Right now you just have to bear down and fight for your sobriety. You got through last weekend and you can get through this one.
I found all kinds of things to do around the house. I planted herbs, did some cleaning and maintenance...etc.
Now, just a short time later, I look forward to waking up early without a hangover and I have tons of new hobbies to keep me busy.
I know not everyone chooses to do this, but I found that being around alcohol and people drinking came fairly easy after about the first month. I could not have done that immediately. Now I do go out with my friends as the designated driver and I have a good time. I do have safeguards in place. My boyfriend is always with me and I make sure I tell everyone that I am the responsible person, making sure everyone gets home safe. Again, I stress, this is not something I could have enjoyed doing immediately.
Don't give in this early in the game. It gets easier over time. Right now you just have to bear down and fight for your sobriety. You got through last weekend and you can get through this one.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
These first weekends are gonna be rough. My best advice? I planned my weekends for the first couple of months. I sat down and wrote down a list of things I have thought about or wanted to do, but never did because of my drinking. Then I started planning to do those things! I also kept track of the money I was saving and used that towards my new, fun hobbies!
The first weekend, I remember getting up at dawn on that first Saturday and hiking up the tallest mountain in the area. I took myself a backpack with a notepad, snacks, thermos of coffee and my Big Book (I attend AA). I still remember how amazing I felt when I got to the top of the mountain that morning and feeling like anything was possible now. It still brings tears to my eyes.
Here's to your new life! Congrats!!!!
The first weekend, I remember getting up at dawn on that first Saturday and hiking up the tallest mountain in the area. I took myself a backpack with a notepad, snacks, thermos of coffee and my Big Book (I attend AA). I still remember how amazing I felt when I got to the top of the mountain that morning and feeling like anything was possible now. It still brings tears to my eyes.
Here's to your new life! Congrats!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
Thank you.... I know I will have to read all of these consistently throughout the weekend. Ups and downs, they're so extreme right now. One second, I feel so strong and confident that I know I won't have a drink and the next I am telling myself I will have a drink and that's the end of conversation b/c I already know it will happen. This cycle just keeps going and going.....
I was thinking about how much the term "alcoholic voice"i s used on here, and that is when I really knew, yup, that's it, I'm an alcoholic, cuz I knew exactly what that term meant. See, a person that did not have this relationship with alcoholic, who did not struggle with it, could never wrap their mind around what an "alcoholic voice" is, let alone, innately understand it without even trying. That is an eye opener. Well, my alcoholic voice is in full force right now- screw you alcoholic voice.
Meet the Little Fockers sounds like a great idea... see I didn't even know it was coming out. What would I do without you guys!! Oh yeah, probably be drunk, and sorry in the morning....
Happy Friday
I was thinking about how much the term "alcoholic voice"i s used on here, and that is when I really knew, yup, that's it, I'm an alcoholic, cuz I knew exactly what that term meant. See, a person that did not have this relationship with alcoholic, who did not struggle with it, could never wrap their mind around what an "alcoholic voice" is, let alone, innately understand it without even trying. That is an eye opener. Well, my alcoholic voice is in full force right now- screw you alcoholic voice.
Meet the Little Fockers sounds like a great idea... see I didn't even know it was coming out. What would I do without you guys!! Oh yeah, probably be drunk, and sorry in the morning....
Happy Friday
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