tink645

My husband is going on a business trip in a couple weeks. I have been sober almost a month and have no desire to go back to the way things were. So why do I keep having thoughts pop into my head that while he's gone I can sneak some drinks without him knowing?! It's crazy because I know I won't!

SSIL75

I think that's normal. Every 'first' is hard! I have lots of dysfunctional thoughts when presented with 'firsts'. It's OK. They are just thoughts.

Lovelife27

Is your husband aware of your drinking issues? Has he been "monitoring" you over the past month? If so, you may feel like drinking when he's gone because he's not there to make you hold yourself accountable to him. Just an idea. I don't know what your situation is. But bottom line is, regardless of his involvement in your sobriety, you quit for yourself. Stay strong and true to yourself! You can do it! You've done it for a month! Keep busy!

Taking5

Tink,

<sarcasm>You are the only alcoholic who has ever felt this. Really.<sarcasm>

On a serious note, this is who people like us are, especially early in recovery. My thing was travelling on business, I thought I could drink and come back the next week and no one would know. But I would know. That is enough.

Just let the thoughts pass, you'll be fine, Keep coming back here if you need more support.

tink645

Thanks for the feedback. My husband and I have an amazing relationship. He has been nothing but supportive and loving. He trusts me and doesn't hover. That is why these thoughts are so confusing to me. I will never hurt him or our relationship again.

Lovelife27

That's awesome! This forum can sometimes make people jump to conclusions as we don't really know everyone's story and try to give the best advice and support we can based on the little were told. Sorry if I offended you with my assumptions! That's really great that he is so supportive of you. As was already said, they're just thoughts. Just stay busy and stay strong and you'll do fine!

Opivotal

I think that alcoholic voice is playing with you Tink. Keep in mind its very powerful, but so are you! Keep up the good work and dismiss that voice for what it is. GARBAGE! Try and stay busy and come here if you need support.


:ghug3



Best Wishes To You!

Anna

For me, being alone while my husband travelled, was a huge trigger. It was a time when I didn't have to hide my drinking and pretend I was okay. So, it was a scary time for me, the first time he went away after I had stopped drinking.

tink645

Lovelife, No offense taken! I really appreciate everyone's input. I will be leaning on all of you while he is gone...

guyinyvr

Ahh yes using thoughts...I'd wager they come to everyone early abstinence or even long in recovery depending on the person. I stay on gaurd for HALT ( hungry,angry,lonely tired) and use "play the tape to the end" a lot

While he is away maybe connect with some folks who don't drink ( maybe AA or maybe just people who can have a fun time with no drinks).

For myself , and from what I have read ( lots of reference books on these forums in addition to the BB), the booze has damaged our brains and created pathways were the addictive "voice" creeps up and says "feed me" , particularly in HALT opportunities or other trigger moments

After a fair number of relapses , that voice has beat me a few times...but being mindful of how it won the day before is helping me and I'd like to make my latest , my last relapse...its within reach

Let the thoughts pass and if it gets so close , you are at the counter with the goods, play that tape through....I know that helped me turn , put the stuff back , an wlak out a few times.

I do think since your aware already , you will have success during his trip!

Dee74

I think 'when the cats away' has been a trigger for most of us, tink

Remember you're doing this for you...you've got a month....keeping doing all the right things and you'll be ok

D