Am I New Here? I'm 11 Days Anyway!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 13
Am I New Here? I'm 11 Days Anyway!
I'm actually not new here. I've been reading this forum on and off for years and was certain I had registered but having gone through every email address I use none are recognised so perhaps I didn't or perhaps I just left it too long.
I guess this is just another example of being an alcoholic and only having hazy memories of the past.
Anyway, I've been abusing alcohol since I was around 17 but seriously for the last 10. I'm now 32.
I'm now 11 days sober following my last binge 50+ units a day for 3 weeks until my body collapsed, unable to consume alcohol anymore, I went into withdrawal and was hospitalised.
I have been recieving help for the last 4 years. Countless Librium detoxes and home made reduction plans but always I fell back into the same routines and drank more than before.
I wish I could say I'd been at rock bottom - deficating myself in public should have probably been that - but no I continued anyway. I stopped because I couldn't drink anymore. For the first time in my drinking career I actually thought I may die, my body is a battered wreck of what it used to be but somehow I'm still around and won't let this beat me.
I've started taking properly Antabuse, I go to a clinic 3 times a week where it's crushed up and given to me in a shot of water. (Slightly ironic I feel)
I've also started on Baclofen which is a new drug for me so I may write a lot on this and will be interested to hear about other people's experiences with it.
I guess this is just another example of being an alcoholic and only having hazy memories of the past.
Anyway, I've been abusing alcohol since I was around 17 but seriously for the last 10. I'm now 32.
I'm now 11 days sober following my last binge 50+ units a day for 3 weeks until my body collapsed, unable to consume alcohol anymore, I went into withdrawal and was hospitalised.
I have been recieving help for the last 4 years. Countless Librium detoxes and home made reduction plans but always I fell back into the same routines and drank more than before.
I wish I could say I'd been at rock bottom - deficating myself in public should have probably been that - but no I continued anyway. I stopped because I couldn't drink anymore. For the first time in my drinking career I actually thought I may die, my body is a battered wreck of what it used to be but somehow I'm still around and won't let this beat me.
I've started taking properly Antabuse, I go to a clinic 3 times a week where it's crushed up and given to me in a shot of water. (Slightly ironic I feel)
I've also started on Baclofen which is a new drug for me so I may write a lot on this and will be interested to hear about other people's experiences with it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
Welcome gincup. Sounds like you're setting up all the support systems you need.
The psychiatrist at the outpatient rehab clinic I check in with in my hometown prescribed Antabuse, but I didn't trust myself enough at the time to take it. Will be interesting to read your posts. We're all in the same boat here. Lots of luck to you.
The psychiatrist at the outpatient rehab clinic I check in with in my hometown prescribed Antabuse, but I didn't trust myself enough at the time to take it. Will be interesting to read your posts. We're all in the same boat here. Lots of luck to you.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 13
I was prescribed Antabuse in the past, I have a large bottle of it here, but never took it, the drug itself scares me so can understand the not taking it yourself part.
Now I'm 'forced' to take it I actually love it and look forward to it.
When I leave I'm filled with such a sense of relief as I no longer have to fight that 'don't drink today' monologue going round in my head.
I'm going to try and write about my positive experiences on it as it's just too easy to read about its negative side and that's what put me off taking it for so long.
I look forward to becoming more involved in this community!
Now I'm 'forced' to take it I actually love it and look forward to it.
When I leave I'm filled with such a sense of relief as I no longer have to fight that 'don't drink today' monologue going round in my head.
I'm going to try and write about my positive experiences on it as it's just too easy to read about its negative side and that's what put me off taking it for so long.
I look forward to becoming more involved in this community!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 13
Thanks for the welcomes guys.
I'm 12 days in now, really positive and happy, I can see a future now which wasn't there a month ago.
I hate this nagging doubt I have that it's only 12 days, don't get ahead of yourself, but I'm proud of what I've done. The Antabuse prevents me drinking now the initial elation has past and the thoughts and cravings are starting to creep back in but this time I know I'm going to do it.
Sorry for just rambling.
I sit here thinking about drinking. Had I not been given my weekend dose of Antabuse this morning would I drink and I think the honest answer is I wouldn't.
I'm confused today.
Think I'll read some inspiring posts on here; that always cheers me up and provides me with strength.
Thank you to everyone who makes this such an awesome and welcoming community. The support shown here really does make a difference to people's lives.
I'm 12 days in now, really positive and happy, I can see a future now which wasn't there a month ago.
I hate this nagging doubt I have that it's only 12 days, don't get ahead of yourself, but I'm proud of what I've done. The Antabuse prevents me drinking now the initial elation has past and the thoughts and cravings are starting to creep back in but this time I know I'm going to do it.
Sorry for just rambling.
I sit here thinking about drinking. Had I not been given my weekend dose of Antabuse this morning would I drink and I think the honest answer is I wouldn't.
I'm confused today.
Think I'll read some inspiring posts on here; that always cheers me up and provides me with strength.
Thank you to everyone who makes this such an awesome and welcoming community. The support shown here really does make a difference to people's lives.
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