Day 01
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 32
Day 01
Hi all,
I'm new here.
This is day 01 of my sobriety . Commenced after a particularly embarrassing night that I just can't stop repeating in my head.
I realize some more serious drinkers here have much more awful drunk stories to tell (ending up in prison etc) but I need to get this off my chest:
Started drinking at 1pm. One beer lead to another, to another, to another.
By 4pm I was drunk. I kept drinking and didn't have any dinner (never a smart move).
Then I went to an event that my Wife told me not to come to because she knew I'd been drinking. So I turned up there anyway, very drunk, and proceeded to LOUDLY embarrass myself and all my friends, but most especially my Wife, who later told me she cried with her friends on the way home (which makes me terribly sad). She attempted to take me home, but I insisted "I am not a child" (apparently) and then got out of the car and ran to the bar where I continued to drink and spoke loudly about some unpleasant aspects of my past. I ended up making a women really angry, and then I cried, and then she cried. I've done much worse before, but not so publicly.
Of course this is going over and over in my head. At least I've apologized to everyone I can - dimly - remember bumping in to on my drunken tirade.
Now I'm horribly hungover and ready for change in my life, but utterly terrified.
I'm going to come here regularly for support.
I'm such a wreck, I feel like crying
-Larry
I'm new here.
This is day 01 of my sobriety . Commenced after a particularly embarrassing night that I just can't stop repeating in my head.
I realize some more serious drinkers here have much more awful drunk stories to tell (ending up in prison etc) but I need to get this off my chest:
Started drinking at 1pm. One beer lead to another, to another, to another.
By 4pm I was drunk. I kept drinking and didn't have any dinner (never a smart move).
Then I went to an event that my Wife told me not to come to because she knew I'd been drinking. So I turned up there anyway, very drunk, and proceeded to LOUDLY embarrass myself and all my friends, but most especially my Wife, who later told me she cried with her friends on the way home (which makes me terribly sad). She attempted to take me home, but I insisted "I am not a child" (apparently) and then got out of the car and ran to the bar where I continued to drink and spoke loudly about some unpleasant aspects of my past. I ended up making a women really angry, and then I cried, and then she cried. I've done much worse before, but not so publicly.
Of course this is going over and over in my head. At least I've apologized to everyone I can - dimly - remember bumping in to on my drunken tirade.
Now I'm horribly hungover and ready for change in my life, but utterly terrified.
I'm going to come here regularly for support.
I'm such a wreck, I feel like crying
-Larry
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Congratulations on your choice to quit. Yeah, we've all done some stupid stuff that replays over and over in our heads. Have you considered AA or a program? Have you been introduced to the 12 steps?
Hope your hangover gets better soon...
Hope your hangover gets better soon...
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Welcome. So you feel like s. . t right now, huh? There is good news. You don't ever have to feel this way again, provided you don't drink. Do you have a plan? Just saying you aren't going to drink anymore probably isn't going to do it. A lot of us have tried that, over and over. Have you thought about going to AA? Taking some action so that you don't have to go through this again also might help a bit on the home front.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome Larry! You will find loads of support here. I came to SR when I made up my mind to quit. I found the posts and information here to be my lifeline. That was 10 months ago!
If you REALLY want to be sober IT IS POSSIBLE. Glad you decided to join us!
If you REALLY want to be sober IT IS POSSIBLE. Glad you decided to join us!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Time will heal the embarrassment a little. I think sometimes the day after such drunken behavior that alcohol is stilll in your system and acts as a depressant (which it is) and makes the situation feel so horrible and hopeless. Once the alcohol is all completely out of your system, you will start to feel better. Now you just have to make a plan of recovery and stick with it. You don't ever have to feel this way again. Good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Larry
I'm sorry man - I can almost see myself in your situation.
Do follow through with doing something tho - for me it was all too easy to get over the embarrassment and go right back to the usual state of play.
Here a link to some of the main recovery players - the 12 steps are part of AA's programme.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
D
I'm sorry man - I can almost see myself in your situation.
Do follow through with doing something tho - for me it was all too easy to get over the embarrassment and go right back to the usual state of play.
Here a link to some of the main recovery players - the 12 steps are part of AA's programme.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by Soberween 
Time will heal the embarrassment a little. I think sometimes the day after such drunken behavior that alcohol is stilll in your system and acts as a depressant (which it is) and makes the situation feel so horrible and hopeless. Once the alcohol is all completely out of your system, you will start to feel better. Now you just have to make a plan of recovery and stick with it. You don't ever have to feel this way again. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 32
Well I apologised to all the people I upset and hurt last night. Not all of them are willing to forgive me, but I've done all I can do, which makes me feel slightly better... slightly.
is really trying!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the road to serenity via soberville
Posts: 236
Hi Larry, welcome. Keep coming back here as you plan your future. There's so much support & advice from the newbs & awesome long-term sober. On April 9th I'll have my first month sober after over 20 years & can't believe how much better life is already.
You CAN do it & it IS worth it. Wishing you peace
You CAN do it & it IS worth it. Wishing you peace
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Larry and welcome!
The tricky part is staying sober when you start to feel better...that's why its a good idea to start working on your sobriety today while you feel like crap.
A plan or program helps...so does support. SR provides 24/7/365 support...someone is always here...but many people like face to face support as well which is where programs like AA, SMART get al come in.
Glad to have you on board!
The tricky part is staying sober when you start to feel better...that's why its a good idea to start working on your sobriety today while you feel like crap.
A plan or program helps...so does support. SR provides 24/7/365 support...someone is always here...but many people like face to face support as well which is where programs like AA, SMART get al come in.
Glad to have you on board!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 32
Thanks everyone. This support really helps.
I've woken up feeling sad about what my life had become. Looking back at my routine of the last few months I can't believe how much I was drinking and still convincing myself it was acceptable.
I realised that when I considered an upcoming event I was almost exclusively focused on how I could get intoxicated but still not be detected as a drunk. I can't believe I became like that. It's not who I am. I'm so much better than that. I have more to offer than some vaguely charming drunk guy act.
My stomach is sore now. I hope it will pass soon.
So DAY 02 begins.
Bless you all and
I've woken up feeling sad about what my life had become. Looking back at my routine of the last few months I can't believe how much I was drinking and still convincing myself it was acceptable.
I realised that when I considered an upcoming event I was almost exclusively focused on how I could get intoxicated but still not be detected as a drunk. I can't believe I became like that. It's not who I am. I'm so much better than that. I have more to offer than some vaguely charming drunk guy act.
My stomach is sore now. I hope it will pass soon.
So DAY 02 begins.
Bless you all and
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
Hey Larry , I am on day 6 , or rather on yet another day 6 myself. Thert have been a few day 6's . I think a lot of the previous posts have covered quite a lot in terms of where you can get help.
Chances are some people will neither forgive nor forget some of the stuff we do...happens to drunks and just regular ordinary people to. The only person that can change is ones self. It will be uncomfortable for a while heck , there is stuff I have no memory of doing but it was confirmed by a lot of others , yup I did it. One of the toughest ones is to forgive yourself.
Anyway stay here on SR and sort out which support might work for you and try them.
Its true , nobody need suffer another hangover or spree again...and gee since I return all the empties in our house I get a good look at just how much and shake my head .
Often I will laugh and say " You old fool , you paid that company and the government taxes good money to make you feel this bad, act this silly and awful ". Somehow levity comes to me once I regain some of my senses and it helps me.
Take care
Chances are some people will neither forgive nor forget some of the stuff we do...happens to drunks and just regular ordinary people to. The only person that can change is ones self. It will be uncomfortable for a while heck , there is stuff I have no memory of doing but it was confirmed by a lot of others , yup I did it. One of the toughest ones is to forgive yourself.
Anyway stay here on SR and sort out which support might work for you and try them.
Its true , nobody need suffer another hangover or spree again...and gee since I return all the empties in our house I get a good look at just how much and shake my head .
Often I will laugh and say " You old fool , you paid that company and the government taxes good money to make you feel this bad, act this silly and awful ". Somehow levity comes to me once I regain some of my senses and it helps me.
Take care
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I can't believe I became like that.
Hope day 2 goes well and that you'll start to feel better soon. The "you" that's underneath the craziness of alcohol will come back...... Hang in there - if we can do it, so can you!
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