Not sure where to start
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Not sure where to start
I am trying to learn how to live with an active alcohlic who is dependent on alcohol. He needs it as you and I need air. We have been together 13 years - married 9, so I am not a stranger to the disease - I have never really delt well with it, he says he will quit, goes to detox and stays sober for a while (the time frame keeps getting shroter)...Now he says there is a miracle pill out there Campral...and that is what will cure the cravings and kill the disease. I have been to Alanon and I am learning to take care of my self, but this doesn't help me when I am dealing with my AH after working 10 hours and he has asked what we are having for dinner 4 times in the span of a 1/2 hour.....It doesn't help when I look into his beautiful brown eyes and see that they are glossed over with vodka! My heart is being torn from my chest on a daily basis and I do not know what to do! I love this man, I do not want to leave - Why isn't there more help for this wretched illness.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Welcome dkwiam
I'm really sorry for your situation, but I know you'll find a lot of support here, and in our Family and Friends forums too.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You and your husband are in my prayers - I hope you'll stick around here.
D
I'm really sorry for your situation, but I know you'll find a lot of support here, and in our Family and Friends forums too.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You and your husband are in my prayers - I hope you'll stick around here.
D
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by dkwiam 
I am trying to learn how to live with an active alcohlic who is dependent on alcohol. He needs it as you and I need air. We have been together 13 years - married 9, so I am not a stranger to the disease - I have never really delt well with it, he says he will quit, goes to detox and stays sober for a while (the time frame keeps getting shroter)...Now he says there is a miracle pill out there Campral...and that is what will cure the cravings and kill the disease. I have been to Alanon and I am learning to take care of my self, but this doesn't help me when I am dealing with my AH after working 10 hours and he has asked what we are having for dinner 4 times in the span of a 1/2 hour.....It doesn't help when I look into his beautiful brown eyes and see that they are glossed over with vodka! My heart is being torn from my chest on a daily basis and I do not know what to do! I love this man, I do not want to leave - Why isn't there more help for this wretched illness.
Was he an alcoholic when you met? Did you know about it? It's what you signed up for, if so. Not saying that you deserve it, of course. We all tend to think someone else is going to change. Or that we can change them. Or that we can help them change. There is NO help for someone who doesn't want help, so maybe it is time to stop breaking your back and feelings, trying to stop him from doing what he's going to do..... maybe you've unwittingly become an enabler, too.. Drunks, we're pretty ignorant of what we do to the people who care the most ... it's sick and sad.
Your decision is a simple but potentially painful one.
It's the alcohol, or me, pal.
Stick to it and find out whether he loves you or the alcohol more. If he loves the bottle more than he loves you it's time to cut your losses and start a new life. That's good advice, I am sure of it.
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