Working on "normal"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Working on "normal"
I heard from my AS yesterday. He called.
It was a reasonably good conversation. He's surviving. Living in his car and sleeping on the couches of friends who are also kind enough to allow him to use their showers.
Either he didn't lay a lot of guilt trip stuff on me or I managed to not take it that way--I'm not sure which--but the conversation was what I would say to be in the range of "normal". The type of conversation I would have with my daughter or a friend. I didn't offer him anything (that's big for a codie) and he didn't ask (also big for an addict). He told me that he thinks he is now addicted to gambling. I just said "Me too....that's why I can't go to casinos.......it's hard for me to leave once I'm there but I can stay away fairly easily."
He told me how he's getting by. I accepted it without comment or judgement. It just is how it is right now. It still makes me sad but it was ok because I didn't let it impact the rest of my day, or week, or month. lol
We ended with "I love you" and hung up. We both worked on "normal" in our conversation today. I know it is "work" for me and I'm sure it is for him too.
I know that he's alive and surviving. I'll take that as God's gift for today.
Thanks for letting me share.
gentle hugs
ke
It was a reasonably good conversation. He's surviving. Living in his car and sleeping on the couches of friends who are also kind enough to allow him to use their showers.
Either he didn't lay a lot of guilt trip stuff on me or I managed to not take it that way--I'm not sure which--but the conversation was what I would say to be in the range of "normal". The type of conversation I would have with my daughter or a friend. I didn't offer him anything (that's big for a codie) and he didn't ask (also big for an addict). He told me that he thinks he is now addicted to gambling. I just said "Me too....that's why I can't go to casinos.......it's hard for me to leave once I'm there but I can stay away fairly easily."
He told me how he's getting by. I accepted it without comment or judgement. It just is how it is right now. It still makes me sad but it was ok because I didn't let it impact the rest of my day, or week, or month. lol
We ended with "I love you" and hung up. We both worked on "normal" in our conversation today. I know it is "work" for me and I'm sure it is for him too.
I know that he's alive and surviving. I'll take that as God's gift for today.
Thanks for letting me share.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 331
Hiya KindEyes,
That conversation sounded wonderful to me, better than normal (and honestly what or who is really normal anyway). You stayed strong and so did your son. It sounds like changes are being made and coming your way in a positive manner.
Good Luck to you,
Stacy
That conversation sounded wonderful to me, better than normal (and honestly what or who is really normal anyway). You stayed strong and so did your son. It sounds like changes are being made and coming your way in a positive manner.
Good Luck to you,
Stacy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Normal contact for me seems so strange sometimes.
Just having a conversation with family to catch up seems forced.
As if calling to chat requires one of us to get something from the other outside of a connection to another person.
Glad you are well and seeing this as your HP letting you "check in" without it derailing you.
Blessings,
Alice
Just having a conversation with family to catch up seems forced.
As if calling to chat requires one of us to get something from the other outside of a connection to another person.
Glad you are well and seeing this as your HP letting you "check in" without it derailing you.
Blessings,
Alice
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: at the beach
Posts: 339
Dear Kindeyes,
i am glad to hear that things are progressing. at least you did get to talk to him without having a bad feeling afterwards. every little step in the right direction counts.
stay strong. hope the rest of your weekend goes well.
hugs and prayers.
i am glad to hear that things are progressing. at least you did get to talk to him without having a bad feeling afterwards. every little step in the right direction counts.
stay strong. hope the rest of your weekend goes well.
hugs and prayers.
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