hope2be

Whew! It's been a week!
My adult son(with mental or drug problems, who knows!) called to say his brother, who he lives with, has not slept in 6 days. I told them, I can't help them. I was so proud of myself.
No sooner had a posted this on another post, that they drove up. They both ended up staying over night while I went to work. It was all OK. They both slept, seemed very grounded and left the next morning.
When I awoke in the next afternoon one of them was back. He said he needed to give his brother some space and just needed to stay a couple of days. I had to go to work, so I didn't even try to talk to him.

He is still here. He's not causing any problems, doing chores around the house and being very grateful. However, it's like I told him yesterday...I'm so tired of kicking him out. I didn't do this gracefully. I sat on my pity-pot and cried and bemoaned my lot in life. Thank God my grandaughter wasn't at home.

Anyhow, he's still here and I'm just trying to really concentrate on the courage to ask him to leave again. It just wears me out to do this.

Thanks for listening. I'm bringing my grandaughter to a b-day party, but I had to touch base with my family. You guys are still my lifeline!

Kindeyes

hope2be
I understand how you are feeling right now. Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt as they say. lol

I'm reading a couple of books right now that are helping me a lot with the issue you are dealing with right now.

1. Making Miracles in 40 Days by Melody Beattie
2. The Unmistakeable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson

These two books are changing my life and my attitudes and each was recommended by special people here on SR (The first one thanks to Ilovemydaughter and the second one thanks to keepinon).

If you are a reader, you might enjoy these books.

gentle hugs
ke

keepinon

It got easier for me when I would "head it off at the pass".it's harder to get someone to leave than not to let them in in the first place.It took me practice and it still does to know where my boundaries are and hold them..but I have a lot more peace, and also more respect.Hang in there..

Habit

(((hopetobe)))

A great book that I read is "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult children" by Allison Bottke. One of the quotes from the book that I love is, "Although we cannot put a timetable on Gods' grace and sufficiency for our lives, we can put a timetable on the specific changes needed to restore our home lives to peace. We can and should place a timetable on transitioning the current cyclone of circumstances into a calm breeze of boundaries."

Prayers going up for you and your son.

with love,
Habit

"Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with" ~ Brian Tracy

hope2be

Thanks for all the support.
Once again, I had to tell my AS to leave. It is so hard to do this.
Keepinon: so right...head em off at the pass so I do not have to repeat this.

And now, my AD called and asked to come stay over (taking care of her daughter). Says her BF is going back up north to his folks. Wanted to know if she could come spend a couple of days. Told her NO. That was easy b/c I know she is still actively using.

I've been reading lots of books and staying focused on what I need to take care of me. It's a hard struggle b/c my mind still wanders into the codie world of what-ifs. I realize when I do this, I'm trying to control the outside, which has proven futile.

Thanks for listening and posting. It keeps me soooo on track.