Grandnana

I failed day one..I failed. I felt so nervous and anxious that I was going to get sick and the craving made me feel so anxious I couldnt think of anything but a drink. Now I am going to a 8 day vacation with kids and grandkids and I just keep thinking this is the wrong time for this..What am I going to do? I had a full physical a month ago and was put on 1 mg of xanax for panic attacks but other than that I am healthy. I started drinking a couple of years ago after gastric bypass and the death of my mother and then this year it accelerated when my husband lost his job and my mother in law paased and we lost our house and our two 13 year old dogs died within 6 months of echother.I know I am rambling but I am so scared! I feel so lost . God Help Me!

CarolD

I know mixing some meds with alcohol is dangerous.
It's a wise idea to check with your doctor about how
best to de tox....I hope you will do this quickly.

Be both safe and sober...

Welcome ...

Snarf

The good thing about Day Ones is that there's always another one waiting for you. Thanks for joining us here.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find a lot of support here.

silly

I'm not sure there's ever really a *good* time or a *right* time to quit in the mind of an alcoholic. I know I spent months telling myself I'd quit at the end of the year, quit when things slowed down with work, quit once I didn't feel so depressed... I promised myself I'd cut back, only drink wine and not hard liquor, only drink social, etc...

I don't actually know what my point in this is except it's easy for us to put off until tomorrow a lot of things....

Grandnana

Thanks for the replys. I told my doc about my alcohol use when I had the physical and because the dose is so low he felt we needed to get the attacks under control (it brought down both my BP and my heart rate which had been running 140) and have only had 3 major panic attacks since and had even started driving again. I take only that one pill. I gave up everything else except one cup of coffee in the morning, I gave up,tylenol, benedryl (used for sleep for years) because I didnt think they mixed with Vodka. I gave up carbonated drinks, sugar cut my salt intake , so not giving up alcohol makes no sense to me. I know if I could just get through the first day..I would feel stronger. My therapist told me I just needed to learn to drink in moderation, so I fired him. I feel so lost, but I am just going to get through the next hour. I usually dont start craving til 2:00 or later. In the morning (every morning) I think I can do it , atleast I did until I tried it. Again sorry about the rambling.

CarolD

For me to actually quit....regardless of anything else

I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink

I so hope you too will reach that point...

reggiewayne

There is no magic bullet here Grandnana. I wish there was. Recovery is a daily process. The key is to find out what recovery means to you. For me, it means going to AA daily, participating in this site, praying, doing for others first (that's the goal anyway), making my bed, cleaning my house, being a good dad and husband, and on and on...

I couldn't have done this alone.

I wish you the best. You can do this, but probably not on your own. That's what we, and the folks in the rooms of AA are for. I've heard it said many times, the people in AA loved me until I could love myself. It's right there for you, you just have to go get it!

EmeraldRose

We've all used drinking as a coping mechanism but the truth is we aren't solving anything and just supressing the problems which will seem blown out of proportion once 'we come to'.
It will be up to you when you make that final decision to quit for real. Hopefully today!! Unfortuantely, some of us have had situtations (hitting rock bottom) that gave us no choice but to either come clean or ruin everyone elses lives in our pathes.
I always thought tomorrow would be a good day to quit but then your life becomes filled with tomorrows.
I prefer to think that everyday is the first day of the rest of my life. Hopefully, today will be the first day of the rest of your life.

Oh and good for you for firing that therapist.

Anna

I think there is no 'good' time or 'right' time to stop drinking.

There will always be something coming along that makes it seem too hard. That's life.

You can get through those moments without alcohol.

Reset

I think Carol hit the nail on the head. At least that was the turning point for me too.

This might come across the wrong way (I have a tendency to do that), but look at it like you've only lost a day. Jump back on that horse.

Dee74

Hi again Grandnana.

I agree - there was no good or right time for me to quit - I depended on booze so much that whatever the timing it was going to be a wrench.

I had many falls along the way until as Carol said I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink....the life I was leading was unliveable.

I think support is very important. It made the difference for me

You'll find a lot of support here - are you thinking of real life support too?

D

BoozeFree

I agree with what carol said about having to want to be sober more than wanting to drink. I had 80days until 3 weeks ago I relapsed and drank daily again up until 4days ago when I realized how much better my life was with those 80days I lived it being sober.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Grandnana.

Looking back, I found a lot of excuses to wait another week or two to stop drinking. Those weeks turned into a few years. I really wish I hadn't let that time slip through my fingers. I think a big thing that really held me back was fear—I was so used to drinking, I couldn't imagine living without it.

Turns out there was nothing to be afraid of, because life is so much better sober! I still get cravings now and then, but they're just feelings. They can't hurt me if I don't drink. And they pass.

Like BoozeFree and the rest said, it was key to simply decide, once and for all, what I wanted. I hope you decide now is the right time after all!

nogard

There is no such thing as failure, we are all on the way with a heart felt desire to want to quit and then putting that into action and again and again and again ... unit we get there

ACT10Npack

Talk to a friend you trust. Getting out in the open is already a good thing.

betterlate

Can you take a walk? Sometimes a brisk walk will take me down from an anxious place.