Where were you after 60 days?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 245
Where were you after 60 days?
I am at 60 days sober now. I’ve been posting here semi-frequently over the last few weeks, so I’ll give a little background information on myself.
I’m a 24 year old male. I finished college Spring 2010. I did not drink prior to college. For the first two and a half years of college, I drank more or less on a daily basis. I felt like I had to be at every party. I felt I was a social failure if I wasn’t drinking with others, using drugs with others, or having sex.
By the time I finished college, I drank only on weekends. I assumed that meant I had “conquered” my problem (reading the Big Book has helped me realize that I will ALWAYS have a problem).
After graduating, I felt like I was “entitled” to drink. I thought that since I was a college graduate, I was a success in life by default, and I had earned the right to drink. My drinking escalated. I had a few different jobs between May 2010 and September 2010, with my drinking and feelings of entitlement escalating throughout, as well as my unhappiness and frustration with the world around me.
I accepted a position to teach English in Spain, and I arrived at the end of October 2010. I immediately began drinking heavily at bars on the weekend, inquiring about drugs as I got drunker with the night. I told myself I had to do this – this is Europe, a once in a life time opportunity, and I need to take advantage of it…by drinking and getting high.
I began drinking on a daily basis during dinner, in order to raise my alcohol tolerance on the weekends. A couple of my drunken episodes in December could have cost me my job. Despite living rent free in Spain, my bank account was nearly empty. I was miserable, lonely, broke, and constantly worrying about my future.
One afternoon in January I promised myself that I wasn’t going to go out and drink anymore. Enough was enough. Minutes later, I got a text from a girl asking me if I wanted to go out that night. I told her I would. We went out, I spent about $40 on booze, and weaved back home with a drunk driver. That was the last time I drank.
In the 60 days that have passed in my sobriety, I have made some real progress in my life. I have re-connected with family and friends. I have begun planning for my career. I have applied for “real jobs”. I have goals. I have money in the bank. I have buried myself in self-improvement books. I experience moments of happiness more frequently than I ever have, or at least since I was a kid.
Things aren’t perfect. I was absurdly motivated to work on myself the first 5 weeks of sobriety. I was using complicated journaling techniques, studying Spanish for two hours a day, and doing a host of other daily tasks that were simply impossible to maintain. I replaced booze and drugs with coffee. I burned out and have since found a more comfortable routine, although I want to slowly increase my daily habits over the long haul. I also quit drinking coffee.
I have a ton of work to do on myself. I am completely overhauling my social life. At the moment I have almost no friends in Spain, and only a few in the USA that I trust spending time with in my new found sobriety. I want to begin seeing a therapist, which is impossible until I return to the USA in June. I want to go to AA. There are a million different things I want and need to learn about myself, and 60 days is just a drop of water in the ocean to accomplish that task.
But I am very happy with my progress. I am very thankful to have found you all on this forum as well, and I look forward to using it often in the journey of sobriety that I am so happy I began. I love hearing everyone’s experiences, and they have been immensely helpful to me. I hope that I can help some people along the way as well! Thanks much everyone.
I’m a 24 year old male. I finished college Spring 2010. I did not drink prior to college. For the first two and a half years of college, I drank more or less on a daily basis. I felt like I had to be at every party. I felt I was a social failure if I wasn’t drinking with others, using drugs with others, or having sex.
By the time I finished college, I drank only on weekends. I assumed that meant I had “conquered” my problem (reading the Big Book has helped me realize that I will ALWAYS have a problem).
After graduating, I felt like I was “entitled” to drink. I thought that since I was a college graduate, I was a success in life by default, and I had earned the right to drink. My drinking escalated. I had a few different jobs between May 2010 and September 2010, with my drinking and feelings of entitlement escalating throughout, as well as my unhappiness and frustration with the world around me.
I accepted a position to teach English in Spain, and I arrived at the end of October 2010. I immediately began drinking heavily at bars on the weekend, inquiring about drugs as I got drunker with the night. I told myself I had to do this – this is Europe, a once in a life time opportunity, and I need to take advantage of it…by drinking and getting high.
I began drinking on a daily basis during dinner, in order to raise my alcohol tolerance on the weekends. A couple of my drunken episodes in December could have cost me my job. Despite living rent free in Spain, my bank account was nearly empty. I was miserable, lonely, broke, and constantly worrying about my future.
One afternoon in January I promised myself that I wasn’t going to go out and drink anymore. Enough was enough. Minutes later, I got a text from a girl asking me if I wanted to go out that night. I told her I would. We went out, I spent about $40 on booze, and weaved back home with a drunk driver. That was the last time I drank.
In the 60 days that have passed in my sobriety, I have made some real progress in my life. I have re-connected with family and friends. I have begun planning for my career. I have applied for “real jobs”. I have goals. I have money in the bank. I have buried myself in self-improvement books. I experience moments of happiness more frequently than I ever have, or at least since I was a kid.
Things aren’t perfect. I was absurdly motivated to work on myself the first 5 weeks of sobriety. I was using complicated journaling techniques, studying Spanish for two hours a day, and doing a host of other daily tasks that were simply impossible to maintain. I replaced booze and drugs with coffee. I burned out and have since found a more comfortable routine, although I want to slowly increase my daily habits over the long haul. I also quit drinking coffee.
I have a ton of work to do on myself. I am completely overhauling my social life. At the moment I have almost no friends in Spain, and only a few in the USA that I trust spending time with in my new found sobriety. I want to begin seeing a therapist, which is impossible until I return to the USA in June. I want to go to AA. There are a million different things I want and need to learn about myself, and 60 days is just a drop of water in the ocean to accomplish that task.
But I am very happy with my progress. I am very thankful to have found you all on this forum as well, and I look forward to using it often in the journey of sobriety that I am so happy I began. I love hearing everyone’s experiences, and they have been immensely helpful to me. I hope that I can help some people along the way as well! Thanks much everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Well, that's fantastic.
Did you ever hear that saying "When in Rome do what the Romans do"? LOL
Yeah, don't do it...even though its hard but you will be rewarded with a better life in the end. Good for you!! Keep up the good work...I'm at 63 days...Its not easy sometimes.
Did you ever hear that saying "When in Rome do what the Romans do"? LOL
Yeah, don't do it...even though its hard but you will be rewarded with a better life in the end. Good for you!! Keep up the good work...I'm at 63 days...Its not easy sometimes.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi BillStJ,
Glad you're here, and congrats on your 60 days. That's great work. It sounds like you are very motivated. I'd suspect there are AA groups in your area, but someone else can answer that better than I can, I'm sure. As for seeing a counselor when you get home, I think that's a really good idea too. Until then, SR can be an excellent way for you to communicate with others . . . it's here anytime and there are always people to listen.
I think everyone is different w/ the time line of recovery. For me, the first 60 days were still all over the place -- lots of mood swings, and "brain fog" as they call it (my thinking felt fuzzy). It took me a bit longer to feel that "not drinking" was the new norm. I think it's good that you have so many things set up, like journaling, studying the language, etc. Of course, you don't want to do anything that feels overwhelming or unsustainable, but maybe doing a reasonable amount every day is a good goal to keep yourself busy. It's good to have structure, I think. For me it also helped to invest a lot of time in reading books about recovery and coming here to learn.
Glad you're here, and congrats on your 60 days. That's great work. It sounds like you are very motivated. I'd suspect there are AA groups in your area, but someone else can answer that better than I can, I'm sure. As for seeing a counselor when you get home, I think that's a really good idea too. Until then, SR can be an excellent way for you to communicate with others . . . it's here anytime and there are always people to listen.
I think everyone is different w/ the time line of recovery. For me, the first 60 days were still all over the place -- lots of mood swings, and "brain fog" as they call it (my thinking felt fuzzy). It took me a bit longer to feel that "not drinking" was the new norm. I think it's good that you have so many things set up, like journaling, studying the language, etc. Of course, you don't want to do anything that feels overwhelming or unsustainable, but maybe doing a reasonable amount every day is a good goal to keep yourself busy. It's good to have structure, I think. For me it also helped to invest a lot of time in reading books about recovery and coming here to learn.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Congratulations on 60 days Bill! I agree with AmericanGirl. I was a bit wobbly and trying to sort out my life. Uncovering the reasons why I drank and living my life sober. It was quite the adjustment. My body and mind were just starting to recover from the abuse I put it through. Everyday after that was a learning experience and life got better!
I moved on from the madness I created. Gained self-respect, strength, and my health.
Sounds like you've got a plan. Have you looked into any support groups? They can also help you gain perspective and offer suggestions when you hit a tough patch. SR was a great tool for me. You may find you need more support then a recovery site. Basically whatever works for you!
Best Wishes to YOU!
I moved on from the madness I created. Gained self-respect, strength, and my health.
Sounds like you've got a plan. Have you looked into any support groups? They can also help you gain perspective and offer suggestions when you hit a tough patch. SR was a great tool for me. You may find you need more support then a recovery site. Basically whatever works for you!
Best Wishes to YOU!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 245
Thanks very much to everyone for the encouraging words. By far, the hardest thing for me right now is interacting socially without alcohol. I have a lot of anxiety in the hours or days prior to social events. When I actually attend the events, poof, the anxiety is gone. So that's something I'm working on. Anyway, thanks again so much to everyone!!!!!
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
BillStJames: thank you for your story. Congrats on 60 days! I, too, have traveled the world, and how I wish I had done so sober. My memories of my travels are limited (although I do, ironically, remember the coffeehouses of Amsterdam). Be glad that you will carry with you sober memories of your time in Spain throughout your life. Enjoy your time left there with new eyes.
Thanks again for the post. For some reason the posts from folks just a month or so ahead of me are what keep me motivated.
Thanks again for the post. For some reason the posts from folks just a month or so ahead of me are what keep me motivated.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Way to go on your 60 days!
Sounds like you've worked really hard at your sobriety and discovered a lot about yourself in the process. I think that's fantastic, especially at 24.
I likened early sobriety to living in another country - you have to find your way around and learn a whole new way of living. And here you are - not only in early sobriety but in another country, too! That's a lot to take in, so be patient with yourself and the process.
The social thing is always a challenge, but give it time. You're working on being a wonderful new "you" right now and it will pay off in the end.
Sounds like you've worked really hard at your sobriety and discovered a lot about yourself in the process. I think that's fantastic, especially at 24.
I likened early sobriety to living in another country - you have to find your way around and learn a whole new way of living. And here you are - not only in early sobriety but in another country, too! That's a lot to take in, so be patient with yourself and the process.
The social thing is always a challenge, but give it time. You're working on being a wonderful new "you" right now and it will pay off in the end.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Congrats on the 60! Well, 61 now.
Where was I at 60? Hmmm. I felt good physically. I was past the cravings. But as others have said, i was still a bit wobbly. Living sober was still new to me, and I was searching for myself and how to be sober. Thing is, i have not stopped with that quest, and each day brings more clarity.
You can do this!
Where was I at 60? Hmmm. I felt good physically. I was past the cravings. But as others have said, i was still a bit wobbly. Living sober was still new to me, and I was searching for myself and how to be sober. Thing is, i have not stopped with that quest, and each day brings more clarity.
You can do this!
Sober 6/5/2008
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Point Vermin, Peedro, CA
Posts: 150
I wish I was more like you. When I was your age, I too was working in Europe and knew to my innermost self that I drank waaay more than was good for me and that I probably have to do something about it someday. Maybe.
I drank for twenty more years, squandering every opportunity that crossed my path. Never made it back to Europe. Too busy circling the drain.
Congratulations on your 60 days. I hope you decide to make the most of your life while there is still time and not squander it in a haze like I have. Good luck!
I drank for twenty more years, squandering every opportunity that crossed my path. Never made it back to Europe. Too busy circling the drain.
Congratulations on your 60 days. I hope you decide to make the most of your life while there is still time and not squander it in a haze like I have. Good luck!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Yes, I think you are doing well. At 60 days, I was still finding my way, feeling quite fragile, having mood swings etc. (As well as the alcoholism, I had mental health issues to deal with.) But I continued and am now looking at one and a half years. I was quite stoic the last time around as I was so fed up with the cycle. Congratulations on the achievement, celebrate it in a positive way for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Congrats on 60 days.
At 60 days I felt pretty good...pretty solid. I was working hard and seeing the results. In retrospect I wasn't that far but for me at 60 days the differences were huge....now they are much huger
At 60 days I felt pretty good...pretty solid. I was working hard and seeing the results. In retrospect I wasn't that far but for me at 60 days the differences were huge....now they are much huger
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
