mesh12121

So i try to get to a meeting today and needed MY CAR to get there. I talked to her laast night and told her i have an 11:00 meeting that i needed to get to. She said "we'll talk about the car tomorrow". I call at 8 and she was sleeping i call at 9 she was sleeping...9:20 same thing. so i call repetedly she gets up and says i'll be there in 20 minutes....she falls back to sleep and i miss the meeting..........................................

She knows these are important....i'll be homeless on june 1st,not working,running up cc bills,no money keep relapsing,no food....and when i'm sober with no beer in the house...she won't stay with me to just hang out...i have no family support on my side of the family...her side are feeding her a line of garbage...her crackhead brother stole a laptop off her and i'm wrong for saying it on facebook...enable him and watch me drown.

suki44883

I don't really understand your last paragraph, but regarding attending meetings, I've heard that AAers are great at helping each other get to meetings. Why not call your sponsor or one of the other members whose number you have and ask about getting a ride?

Anna

Yeah, it sounds like you should find another way to get to meetings.

And, don't forget you can always find support here.

GettingStronger2

Mesh,

when i quite drinking. it felt often that my husband was trying to sabotage it, that he was trying to get me to drink again. In many ways. I do not know if it was intentional or not, or if i was being overly sensitive. It doesn't really matter.

what mattered was that i had to recover. I had to do the work. If i chose to drink, it would be my responsibility, no one else's, no matter what. Stay strong. Remember why you are doing this. don't let anyone take that away from you or give you an excuse.

yeahgr8

If you are going to be homeless and carless i would bring this up at meetings to see if someone can give you a lift...obviously i doubt whether you will have internet to come onto here but you can always go to an AA meeting regardless of your situation:-)

keithj

Mesh,
I looked through your old posts before responding. You are in a very, very bad place right now. I know I've been there myself, not wanting to drink but still drinking, playing various games of detox and relapse, doing crazy, insane, dangerous things.

At that time, I really couldn't trust much of anything going on in my mind. It all made some kind of bizarre sense then, but looking from the outside in, with a few years perspective, it was insanity, pure and simple.

This insanity has nothing to do with your wife, your daughter, a car, your past, or anything else. It's alcoholism and that's all it is.

I've recovered from that condition, and so have a lot of others, by following the direction and guidance of others who had recovered. A called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual awakening as being the only hope for a chronic alcoholic like me. He said I could have it if I was willing. Now, I'm not interested in a debate about AA being the only way. I'm just saying that's what I did. That's what the guy did before me, and he recovered. That's what I did, and I recovered. That's what the guy after me did and he recovered. I've seen it work for everybody that has done it.

This is available to you, right now, today, if you'll have it.

least

You can't depend on your wife to maintain your sobriety - that's up to YOU. Stop relying on her and do it yourself.

totfit

I probably wouldn't want you to have the car either, just as I did without one for quite a while years ago. There is no one that can "sabotague" your sobriety other than yourself.
I am not trying to be harsh, but there are many ways to get to a meeting and just because you don't happen to get to a meeting is no "reason" to drink. Find ways to get to a meeting other than the car if you need meetings. Remember first and foremost the only one that get in your way getting sober is the person you see in the mirror when you brush your teeth. Just hang in there.

EmeraldRose

OK, so I'm assuming you don't live with your wife?
If you 'know' she is not supportive of you then I would find someone who is. You are consistantly setting yourself up for failure depending on her. She is not a good anchor for you right now.
As others said, you need to contact AA and see if you can hitch a ride.
Sounds like you are in a tailspin

ReadyAndAble

Good advice in the posts above, Mesh.

I'd just add that for me, it was very important for me to let go of all resentments. I don't even try to figure out whether or not my anger is justified anymore, or who's right and who's wrong, because it doesn't matter.

Resentments were hurting me and hindering my recovery, whether they're warranted or not. Even if someone has totally F'ed me over, I'm only compounding the damage by being angry. Resentment and self-pity are addiction's close allies.

I know it's hard to let those feelings go, especially when it feels like the whole world is crashing down around you. But I was a lot better off once I learned to accept the cards I've been dealt on any given day, and then figure out how best to play them.

I think you've gotten some good input how to play this hand. I'm not in AA, but they sure seem like a helpful bunch. Hopefully one of them can give you a lift to the next meeting.