Ready for a new life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 40
Ready for a new life
Good morning everybody,
I'm no sure where to start, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I have been struggling with alcohol since I was a teenager and woke up this morning feeling like this is it, I want to stop, nothing dramatic (or any more than usual) happened, I didn't have this rock bottom moment I have read about but I have had plenty over the years, i just looked at my son having his cereal this morning and knew I didn't want this life anymore. He deserves so much better and so do I.
I am living in a small expat community where I am practically expected to drink! there are also no AA meeting in English here so I am writing to ask what advice you would give on where to start? I have looked into private rehab in the area but it is just too expensive for me to consider.
Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you won't mind that I will be spending an awful lot of time on this site in the near future. Thank god I found this site!! So this is day 1 for me and I am just trying to make it through this first day, as within recent months I have escalated into drinking earlier and earlier in the day!
Ok, thanks again.
Bokkie
I'm no sure where to start, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I have been struggling with alcohol since I was a teenager and woke up this morning feeling like this is it, I want to stop, nothing dramatic (or any more than usual) happened, I didn't have this rock bottom moment I have read about but I have had plenty over the years, i just looked at my son having his cereal this morning and knew I didn't want this life anymore. He deserves so much better and so do I.
I am living in a small expat community where I am practically expected to drink! there are also no AA meeting in English here so I am writing to ask what advice you would give on where to start? I have looked into private rehab in the area but it is just too expensive for me to consider.
Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you won't mind that I will be spending an awful lot of time on this site in the near future. Thank god I found this site!! So this is day 1 for me and I am just trying to make it through this first day, as within recent months I have escalated into drinking earlier and earlier in the day!
Ok, thanks again.
Bokkie
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Hi Bokkie
Like you I'm new here.
I also hope that this site will give me the support I need to stop drinking.
I have never been to AA but seriously thinking about going. I too have lived in an expat community many years ago and understand the drinking culture amongst the expat community. That's a tough one!!! Hopefully this site will give you and I lots of pointers and support.
Good luck!
Like you I'm new here.
I also hope that this site will give me the support I need to stop drinking.
I have never been to AA but seriously thinking about going. I too have lived in an expat community many years ago and understand the drinking culture amongst the expat community. That's a tough one!!! Hopefully this site will give you and I lots of pointers and support.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR Bokkie,
You'll find plenty of support here. I always thought (because of my work) ; ...I convinced myself I was "expected to drink" too.
It was really just one more, of many, "tricks' my mind would try.
I remember my first day here at SR;........well, a little of it anyway. Visiting this site everyday has helped me in so, sooo many ways this past year.
You can do this; you deserve it, your son deserves it.
Again; welcome to SR !!
You'll find plenty of support here. I always thought (because of my work) ; ...I convinced myself I was "expected to drink" too.
It was really just one more, of many, "tricks' my mind would try.
I remember my first day here at SR;........well, a little of it anyway. Visiting this site everyday has helped me in so, sooo many ways this past year.
You can do this; you deserve it, your son deserves it.
Again; welcome to SR !!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Bokkie
Glad you've joined us.
I identify with simply not wanting to live life that way anymore
You'll find a lot of support here - and I generally find, no matter where you are on the planet, there's someone pretty nearby who can help you with local resources like AA meetings or whatever
Welcome!
D
Glad you've joined us.
I identify with simply not wanting to live life that way anymore
You'll find a lot of support here - and I generally find, no matter where you are on the planet, there's someone pretty nearby who can help you with local resources like AA meetings or whatever
Welcome!
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Posts: 217
Welcome Bokkie
Everyone is different. Some people drink and some don't. Stick to your choice. I just tell friends I am trying to achieve a healthier lifestyle. They have accepted that.
Good luck
Everyone is different. Some people drink and some don't. Stick to your choice. I just tell friends I am trying to achieve a healthier lifestyle. They have accepted that.
Good luck
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
Welcome Bokkie,
I'm an expat too. Nothing like AA around, much of the opposite. This site is invaluable to me. Visit often! Understand there are AA online meetings, will take a look soon.
Just curious, where are you?
I'm an expat too. Nothing like AA around, much of the opposite. This site is invaluable to me. Visit often! Understand there are AA online meetings, will take a look soon.
Just curious, where are you?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
I identify with what you said. Your child does deserve more and SO DO YOU! This forum is and excellent source of support. You mentioned AA not being around in your area. I encourage you to order the Big Book online. There is invaluable wisdom in that book! Life can turn on a dime! Day one can be your forever!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi bokkie and welcome!
I used to live in HK so I have an idea about the Expat lifestyle...met a gal here (home) once who said she had to leave HK to save her liver so yeah its tough.
Online resources are a big help please visit SR often...we are so happy to have you
I used to live in HK so I have an idea about the Expat lifestyle...met a gal here (home) once who said she had to leave HK to save her liver so yeah its tough.
Online resources are a big help please visit SR often...we are so happy to have you
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hi Bokkie. Welcome to SR. I'm 21 days new here, too, and have found it tremendously helpful. Congrats on your decision. I totally get how you feel your son deserves better. I have two sons and a daughter, and need to regain their respect. I know I won't do that with the drinking lifestyle I had.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 245
Hi Bokkie, congratulations on finding the forum. I can identify somewhat with your situation. I have been living in Spain for 5 months in an area where it is common to drink wine for breakfast, and very common to drink for lunch/dinner as well. There are no AA groups in my area either.
I have done several things to help myself quit. First, I downloaded and listened to the AA Big Book. I typically listened to it while I was exercising, so I was doing something "double healthy". It is an incredible resource and I can't recommend it enough, be it in audio form or print form.
I have been utilizing this website quite a bit as well. The people here are extremely knowledgeable, friendly and helpful. TONS of useful information here.
I recommend you start a journal and write every day. You can also read or listen to self-improvement books. Finally, you can try to find people who don't drink to spend time with. I'm sure you can find someone out there.
I have done several things to help myself quit. First, I downloaded and listened to the AA Big Book. I typically listened to it while I was exercising, so I was doing something "double healthy". It is an incredible resource and I can't recommend it enough, be it in audio form or print form.
I have been utilizing this website quite a bit as well. The people here are extremely knowledgeable, friendly and helpful. TONS of useful information here.
I recommend you start a journal and write every day. You can also read or listen to self-improvement books. Finally, you can try to find people who don't drink to spend time with. I'm sure you can find someone out there.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: michigan
Posts: 109
Welcome! There is a lot of support here and people who have a lot of experience and helpful advice. This site is my main support/recovery resource and the people here have been a godsend to me. Keep reading and posting, you can do this!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum!
I didn't have a rock bottom either..... just got sick of it all, the anxiety, depression, hangovers, plotting and planning, and obsessing about the next drink.
I took it one day at a time and used this forum..... and things are so much better now. You can do it too! :ghug3
I didn't have a rock bottom either..... just got sick of it all, the anxiety, depression, hangovers, plotting and planning, and obsessing about the next drink.
I took it one day at a time and used this forum..... and things are so much better now. You can do it too! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Bokkie welcome to SR. AA meetings weren't for me but by just reading the literature and practising my version of the 12 steps along with reading/studying other recovery methods and prayer I was able to formulate a plan of recovery that worked for me. SR is a great place to start, read all you can and post often.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 15
Hi Bokkie
Can totally relate.
I too have decided that I have had enough of this lifestyle. It's taken me years to reach the stage where I am with my alcohol problems and I don't for a moment believe that I'm going to stop overnight, but we've both made the right choice about wanting to change!
Can totally relate.
I too have decided that I have had enough of this lifestyle. It's taken me years to reach the stage where I am with my alcohol problems and I don't for a moment believe that I'm going to stop overnight, but we've both made the right choice about wanting to change!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 40
Good morning all!!
Well I survived day 1! I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to reply to my first post and the thought and wisdom that went into those replies. I am going to download the big book as advised and will be spending a lot of time on this site. I spent a lot of time yesterday reading the "mothers who drink" thread and a few posts had me in tears, this is truly an amazing resource especially for those of us who either don't want to or can't go to AA.
I'm just going to try to take this one day at a time and right now i just want to get through today without a drink, i cant think further than that yet.
Again, thank you all for your support, I'm really going to need it!
Bokkie
Well I survived day 1! I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to reply to my first post and the thought and wisdom that went into those replies. I am going to download the big book as advised and will be spending a lot of time on this site. I spent a lot of time yesterday reading the "mothers who drink" thread and a few posts had me in tears, this is truly an amazing resource especially for those of us who either don't want to or can't go to AA.
I'm just going to try to take this one day at a time and right now i just want to get through today without a drink, i cant think further than that yet.
Again, thank you all for your support, I'm really going to need it!
Bokkie
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