The Next Damn Thing
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
The Next Damn Thing
A first cousin of the slogan "One Day at a Time" may be "The Next Damn Thing". I have a friend who can't get anything done since she tries to do everything at once, get it all done- right now. When I think back on myself I sense that this was a way my addiction tended to trick my brain into stressful situations which would lead me to drink. This was in the days before they discovered "AD-HD". Now some folks say, "Oh I'm AD-HD! Once they get my pills straightened out then I'll be O.K.!". Not so with me. (Lots of pills! But that's another story!) They never did get my pills "straightened out" because I was addicted and the addiction fed itself on stress. So I was compulsive obsessive, perfectionist, whatever! And booze was the medication I used to relieve that.
So now that I've been sober for awhile I think to myself that I'm not going to fall for this setup. Like tonight, when I was feeding the dog. Up to now I'd often try to feed the dog with all the dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen. Very stressful, particularly with the dog looking on as a skeptical spectator. So tonight I decided to do it differently. Do "the next damn thing." That is put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, clean off the counters, get out the canned dog food. Put a fork beside the can. Get out the dish with the chicken pieces. Put a knife beside the dish. Get the dog bowl, rinse it out and put it beside all the other stuff. Get the kibbles out of the bag and put them in the dog bowl with some water. Get the fork and put some of the canned dog food into the bowl, mix it around. Get the knife and slice up the chicken bits and put them in the bowl. Mix it all around and give it to the dog. Sort of a ritual, like a Japanese tea ceremony. The dog liked it. I liked it. Made me a little more serene. Maybe it works in lots of different ways.
W.
So now that I've been sober for awhile I think to myself that I'm not going to fall for this setup. Like tonight, when I was feeding the dog. Up to now I'd often try to feed the dog with all the dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen. Very stressful, particularly with the dog looking on as a skeptical spectator. So tonight I decided to do it differently. Do "the next damn thing." That is put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, clean off the counters, get out the canned dog food. Put a fork beside the can. Get out the dish with the chicken pieces. Put a knife beside the dish. Get the dog bowl, rinse it out and put it beside all the other stuff. Get the kibbles out of the bag and put them in the dog bowl with some water. Get the fork and put some of the canned dog food into the bowl, mix it around. Get the knife and slice up the chicken bits and put them in the bowl. Mix it all around and give it to the dog. Sort of a ritual, like a Japanese tea ceremony. The dog liked it. I liked it. Made me a little more serene. Maybe it works in lots of different ways.
W.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Man, can I relate!!!!!! I have a problem taking my time with anything - (a fear of not having enough time, I think). But I know that living in the now and doing things serenely ("mindfullness") is the way to approach life. I think I'm still a bit of a adrenaline junkie.
Thanks for telling my story and for the reminder to kick it back a notch!
Thanks for telling my story and for the reminder to kick it back a notch!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
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I'm still working on slowing down, I'm a hurry up so I can wait type of person. I'm trying to get myself to slow down, relax and smell the roses but you know the saying it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: The Great White North, eh? Beauty.
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That sounds like fun - I think I'll do that tomorrow. The next damn thing I'm going to do is get out of bed. The next damn thing I'm going to do is brush my teeth. The next damn thing I'm going to do is make some coffee. Perhaps I'll even say it out loud.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Man, I can relate to this. Every now and then I get exhausted thinking about what simple tasks to do next. I feel totally overwhelmed just because I have to do the laundry, wash the dishes, make dinner, etc., and I want to do them all at once. After I take a step back and take in the reality of the situation, all is well. I definitely like the "next damn thing" method.
...It is hard, but I have been trying to slow it all down.
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Location: Massachusetts
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Thanks Clifty: And there's another one, "The "perfect" is the enemy of the "good". I'm a compulsive perfectionist. And I learned that setting myself unrealistic goals was setting myself up for a drink. It's the old thing- the body playing tricks on the mind. The body wants the booze or a fix and sets up the mind to fail, or maybe sometimes even to succeed ("Pour me another one. I deserve a little celebration!'). Hope things are O.K. over in the Emerald Isle.
W.
W.
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Thanks Clifty2: By the way, how did the Irish stew turn out? One of my favorite dishes. I remember when we had some VIP's over for dinner and instead of giving them anything fancy we just gave them Irish stew and hot rolls and a good salad. They were very pleased and content.
As for being compulsive and obsessive and trying to do too much, I recall also the Tao Te Ching saying something like "By seeking to do everything nothing gets accomplished." Good quote. But I think it goes a little too far when it goes on to say something like, "By seeking to do nothing, everything gets done." Reminds me of what they said about former President Calvin Coolidge: "Calvin did nothing but that's just what we elected him to do....!"
W.
As for being compulsive and obsessive and trying to do too much, I recall also the Tao Te Ching saying something like "By seeking to do everything nothing gets accomplished." Good quote. But I think it goes a little too far when it goes on to say something like, "By seeking to do nothing, everything gets done." Reminds me of what they said about former President Calvin Coolidge: "Calvin did nothing but that's just what we elected him to do....!"
W.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 102
"The next damn thing" helps with depression too. When I can't get up in the morning I start out with the first thing, then the next thing.... otherwise I don't start moving at all!
You're lucky to have a dishwasher, btw- when I look at my sink it's a whole other affair!!!
You're lucky to have a dishwasher, btw- when I look at my sink it's a whole other affair!!!
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