XxGoldenxX

i getting to the point were im seriously considering stopping because this have and then don't have situation is getting be too much...but im scared i will just end feeling the way i use to. so depressed i can't get out of bed. so is it better to handle the week or two when im out of money and out of drugs and then have a month of perfection...or....

someone who has major depression tell me it will be ok. because honestly at this moment this pain i feel now is already too much and im only just tapering off. i need to believe its worth it.

Dee74

Hi Golden

I never had an opiates problem but I can absolutely say that life without addiction is better.

I definitely needed to work on other things too tho, including my depression.

Are you on meds? do you see a Dr?
D

Presstoe

Hi Golden,

I had a minute or two with Vicodin, I enjoyed it and then it started to make me sick. I probably would have continued using it recreationally if it didn't make me sick. I was also starting not to get very "high" from it when I started to notice a majorly bad/strange crash from it. In the end it wasn't my thing.

I also have depression and anxiety, when it got really bad I went back to the psych doc and began taking antidepressants again. If you talk with a doctor, they might start you on an appropriate medication for your depression, which will make things better and that sounds like the reason you're using- the depression. Meds from a doc aren't going to give you that high though, but if you stick with them in 2-4 weeks you might feel a difference.

If I were you I'd stop with the pills you're taking, or just talk to a doctor about the situation and they can help you get off the drugs and onto something that can help you. Best of luck and take care of yourself!

Sugah

I don't know the source of your depression, whether it's chemical or situational, whether it began before you started using or after, when you're out or have tried to quit. I can only tell you what it was like for me.

I was depressed as long as I can remember. When I think about my childhood, I have to strain to remember happy memories (I used to think there were none, but that's not true). Mostly, what I remember are tears, lots of them, and a deep funk that I learned to mask very, very early.

When I was facing the decision to get sober, I was petrified to give it up. I had no idea how I'd deal with my feelings. I spent about ten years on antidepressants prior to getting sober, and I spent a lot of years in therapy--inpatient (involuntary) hospitalizations, individual and group outpatient therapy. I went to rehab and heard "all you've got to change is everything." I was introduced to AA & NA. I heard people speak who talked about feeling like I had--and who didn't feeling that way anymore. I latched onto their hope, and when I got out, I continued on in AA, got a sponsor, took the steps--and got better. I wasn't immune to sadness, anger, frustration, but I had a way to deal with it.

For the past year, for the first time in my sobriety, I've had an extended stretch of what I'm seeing is depression. In the past year, I've lost two very good friends and my mother. I'm not being medicated, and I haven't had to use over it. I know it will pass, so long as I keep talking about it when I need to talk about it, use the tools that are in my possession, and not pick up a drink or a drug. I do that, and I cannot predict what will happen--except to say I'm certain it won't be good.

So--yes, it's worth it. Life doesn't stop happening, and some things hurt, but my blessings are considerable and far outweigh the pain. I can't think of a single blessing, including my own life, that I have today that I would have if I didn't stop using. It's worth it.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Presstoe

Off topic, but hey Sugah, I lost my mom too- 2 years ago, it was debilitating emotionally. I'm sorry that you lost your friends and mother. You seem very strong to handle all that. Take care.

XxGoldenxX

thanks everyone for the responses.

sugah: thank you, that put me in tears,my story is similar. i still don't feel strong enough but i guess i don't have much else to lose....drugs will always be around. this system ive got is obviously not workin...maybe time to try another.

coffeenut

SR can help. Welcome!