Silent Treatment
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Location: Upstate NY
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Silent Treatment
I hate it. I absolutely hate getting the silent treatment. And of all the forms of "abuse" I have gotten from my AH, this is the one he has used the most. Since his drinking started to spiral out of control (back in October 2010), we haven't had hardly any real conversations.
He refuses to talk about ANYTHING. He'll sit and be all happy to the kids and then flat out ignore that I'm even in the room. Even to the point of ignoring me when I say things like, "Dinner's ready. What would you like to drink?"
I'm always the one to initiate conversations about any problems that we are having, that he eventually walks out on... never to return and finish. Nothing gets resolved, and nothing changes.
It's HELL on earth living with someone who does this.
We talked Friday night about me wanting a divorce. He hasn't said one word to me since. Not ONE word. So for the past two days - we have lived together in this house with the kids - in silence.
I am calling the attorney first thing tomorrow morning and getting the divorce process started. I deserve so much better than this. His behavior makes me feel so worthless and unloved.
He refuses to talk about ANYTHING. He'll sit and be all happy to the kids and then flat out ignore that I'm even in the room. Even to the point of ignoring me when I say things like, "Dinner's ready. What would you like to drink?"
I'm always the one to initiate conversations about any problems that we are having, that he eventually walks out on... never to return and finish. Nothing gets resolved, and nothing changes.
It's HELL on earth living with someone who does this.
We talked Friday night about me wanting a divorce. He hasn't said one word to me since. Not ONE word. So for the past two days - we have lived together in this house with the kids - in silence.
I am calling the attorney first thing tomorrow morning and getting the divorce process started. I deserve so much better than this. His behavior makes me feel so worthless and unloved.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere in the big ole' world....
Posts: 545
Been there, done that with the silent treatment and it is hell on earth. Better to be alone and enjoy real silence and serenity than to go on living with the terrible silence you're enduring now.
Hugs coming your way from me and puppy dog.....
Hugs coming your way from me and puppy dog.....
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Hang in there even though it is so hard. I am still living in the same house with my A (hoping house sells quickly) and he goes between giving me the silent treatment to acting like everything is fine. I hate living like this but try to keep telling myself it is temporary and at least I will be out soon. Unlike before when I felt stuck because I couldn't make the decision to move on.
It is the hardest thing we will ever go through so we need to be easy on ourselves. Wish you were closer, I would come have coffee with you. I do have a business trip to NY middle of April.
:ghug3:ghug3
It is the hardest thing we will ever go through so we need to be easy on ourselves. Wish you were closer, I would come have coffee with you. I do have a business trip to NY middle of April.
:ghug3:ghug3
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Thanks everybody. I'm so done with this situation. This is truly one of those situations the defines "being lonely even though I'm not alone."
Our marriage is crumbling and he doesn't even seem to care. Or maybe he does and he's just to stubborn to admit it. Either way, it doesn't even matter what he does or doesn't think. All I know is what I see and what he tells me. I have to keep reminding myself that, sometimes on a minute by minute basis... Otherwise I'd get stuck in trying to figure out the "why".
I'm sad today. I got lots of hugs from friends and family at church today... They felt so good.
Thank you for all the cyber hugs... It means a lot to know you are all "here" with me.
Our marriage is crumbling and he doesn't even seem to care. Or maybe he does and he's just to stubborn to admit it. Either way, it doesn't even matter what he does or doesn't think. All I know is what I see and what he tells me. I have to keep reminding myself that, sometimes on a minute by minute basis... Otherwise I'd get stuck in trying to figure out the "why".
I'm sad today. I got lots of hugs from friends and family at church today... They felt so good.
Thank you for all the cyber hugs... It means a lot to know you are all "here" with me.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
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I was married to the Grand Master of The Silent Treatment. There isn't anything worse than living in the same house with someone who uses this form of manipulation. It can go on for days and it is like you don't even exist. The point of the game (from what I gather..) is to make you see that their way is the only way. Your thoughts or feelings do not count..Only feelings that THEY feel count. And until you realize that you don't exist in their life. Manipulative abuse to the max. I am glad you are taking action to get out of this horrid living situation.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Getting By-
If I didn't know better I'd think you were me, describing my H and our interactions... In fact Fri night he, not me, communicated via text and email that perhaps we should look at a short sale on the house and that a divorce was absolutely happening due to how toxic I am and that we needed to discuss this this weekend. Has it happened? Nope.
And he, like I suspect your H does, waits for ME to bring something up (bc he will live until his dying day not facing problems being totally content to have chaos around, issues that need to be dealt with and say and do nothing until I bring it up) and then complain/accuse/moan that the way I brought it up or the time I brought it up at is the problem and that he WOULD have been willing to talk but I ruined that chance bc of my tone, time of day, not giving him advance notice, etc... Total manipulation and insanity. I wasted so many years arguing these points with him when all along it was simply that he was going to find any way possible to avoid life and he did.
OMG- this hands down was what would HURT most... He could be LOVING and kind and a normal person with the girls, friends who were over etc... and I'd be in the same room and the distance he'd put between us and the ways he'd ignore me and even posture his body to shut me out were so subtle that no one probably noticed but me... That has been the worst (worse even than his assaulting me-- truly)
You and I are married to the same man..
It's that kind of tension in my own home that was worse than the fighting-- I could not take it and I saw it impacting the kids but never could pinpoint how/why... Since AH has been gone the silence is peaceful-- remarkable how silence with someone else around can be miserable but the same silence, with them gone is serenity...
Hugs! I know all too well how you are feeling and you are right-- you DO deserve better!
If I didn't know better I'd think you were me, describing my H and our interactions... In fact Fri night he, not me, communicated via text and email that perhaps we should look at a short sale on the house and that a divorce was absolutely happening due to how toxic I am and that we needed to discuss this this weekend. Has it happened? Nope.
And he, like I suspect your H does, waits for ME to bring something up (bc he will live until his dying day not facing problems being totally content to have chaos around, issues that need to be dealt with and say and do nothing until I bring it up) and then complain/accuse/moan that the way I brought it up or the time I brought it up at is the problem and that he WOULD have been willing to talk but I ruined that chance bc of my tone, time of day, not giving him advance notice, etc... Total manipulation and insanity. I wasted so many years arguing these points with him when all along it was simply that he was going to find any way possible to avoid life and he did.
He refuses to talk about ANYTHING. He'll sit and be all happy to the kids and then flat out ignore that I'm even in the room.
I'm always the one to initiate conversations about any problems that we are having, that he eventually walks out on... never to return and finish. Nothing gets resolved, and nothing changes.
We talked Friday night about me wanting a divorce. He hasn't said one word to me since. Not ONE word. So for the past two days - we have lived together in this house with the kids - in silence.
I am calling the attorney first thing tomorrow morning and getting the divorce process started. I deserve so much better than this. His behavior makes me feel so worthless and unloved.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy 
And he, like I suspect your H does, waits for ME to bring something up (bc he will live until his dying day not facing problems being totally content to have chaos around, issues that need to be dealt with and say and do nothing until I bring it up) and then complain/accuse/moan that the way I brought it up or the time I brought it up at is the problem and that he WOULD have been willing to talk but I ruined that chance bc of my tone, time of day, not giving him advance notice, etc...!
One interesting thing did come out of our discussion. He said, "I stopped drinking 2 weeks ago, yet it's still not good enough for you. This isn't even about the drinking, is it?". And that's when it hit me... No, it's not. It's about all the other unacceptable behavior that I've put up with/settled for. You take away the alcohol... And guess what?!? I'm still married to a freaking jerk.
I told him that I didn't want anything more from him. I dont want any changes. He can be who he is and wants to be, I just want out. I will always respect him as the father of my children bc he's good at that. But I don't like him as my husband.
At one point he called me irresponsible for "ruining" his childrens lives and that I was selfish for wanting a divorce. I asked him what he had done to take responsibility for their happiness. He had no answer. I'm NOT ruining their lives... I'm giving them a mom who is going to be healthy, sane and happy. Thats so much more important that having mommy and daddy under one roof.
As Sara Evans says... "I get a little bit stronger... Getting on with out you babe... I'm better off without you..."
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Congratulations GB. I'm happy and sad for you at the same time, but believe you are making the only decision a good mom can make. Well done. That said, I have to say that a great day for me would be one where wife and daughter were both giving me the silent treatment. One can hope...
Cyranoak
P.s. Now that I think about it, they probably would love me doing the same. At our house the problem is too much talk, not enough.
Cyranoak
P.s. Now that I think about it, they probably would love me doing the same. At our house the problem is too much talk, not enough.
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Hey folks -
Well we've moved out of the silent treatment. We've talked more in the past 2 days than we have in the entire previous 6 months. Open, honest communication based solely on something that be both agree on - taking good care of the kids. AH is looking for an apartment and understands and agrees that it's best we separate. He's indicated that he wants to see a counselor to work on his stuff. I'll continue to work on me.... and we'll see what happens. Maybe someday we get to work on our marriage, maybe not. I'm handing him and our marriage over to my HP now.
This hurts like hell. I'm sad.... so unbelievably sad... and so is he. I know he's hurting. He's been crying constantly. This sucks, but... it's the right thing to do. We aren't ever going to get better staying together.
I love him and I really care about him. I want him to be in my childrens' lives. I will do whatever it takes to preserve that bond. BUT, I will also protect my children and will be on the lookout for unacceptable/irresponsible behavior.
I guess the one thing that I'm struggling with is divorce or separation agreement. I'm scared of divorcing him... I guess I'm not really as "done" with the marriage as I thought. I will talk to the lawyer this morning about what all of my options are. I know that I will absolutely need a legal agreement in place before he leaves the house - we need to have a clear understanding custody and what money he'll give me to help pay mortgage, daycare etc.
I just can't believe that my life has come to this.
Well we've moved out of the silent treatment. We've talked more in the past 2 days than we have in the entire previous 6 months. Open, honest communication based solely on something that be both agree on - taking good care of the kids. AH is looking for an apartment and understands and agrees that it's best we separate. He's indicated that he wants to see a counselor to work on his stuff. I'll continue to work on me.... and we'll see what happens. Maybe someday we get to work on our marriage, maybe not. I'm handing him and our marriage over to my HP now.
This hurts like hell. I'm sad.... so unbelievably sad... and so is he. I know he's hurting. He's been crying constantly. This sucks, but... it's the right thing to do. We aren't ever going to get better staying together.
I love him and I really care about him. I want him to be in my childrens' lives. I will do whatever it takes to preserve that bond. BUT, I will also protect my children and will be on the lookout for unacceptable/irresponsible behavior.
I guess the one thing that I'm struggling with is divorce or separation agreement. I'm scared of divorcing him... I guess I'm not really as "done" with the marriage as I thought. I will talk to the lawyer this morning about what all of my options are. I know that I will absolutely need a legal agreement in place before he leaves the house - we need to have a clear understanding custody and what money he'll give me to help pay mortgage, daycare etc.
I just can't believe that my life has come to this.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Just remember, this is a "hiatus" in his normal behavior. At the moment he's being reasonable and remoreseful.
You can stop a divorce the day the decree is to be issued, if you choose to.
My thought is that you can go forward as if you're divorcing and see how things play out. You may be glad later that you got the ball rolling so you don't have to start from the beginning again and go through all of this a second time.
You can stop a divorce the day the decree is to be issued, if you choose to.
My thought is that you can go forward as if you're divorcing and see how things play out. You may be glad later that you got the ball rolling so you don't have to start from the beginning again and go through all of this a second time.
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Just remember, this is a "hiatus" in his normal behavior. At the moment he's being reasonable and remoreseful.
I'm afraid that if I waiver or back down from my "boundary" (I need a divorce)... nothing will change. He will see that I'm not really ready to stand up for me, and that maybe just maybe he can throw a few crumbs my way (hug, tears, apology, stay in an apartment for a few months)... and then things will blow over.
You're right... divorce is the right thing to do... I know it. But damn, I HATE that I'm the one that has to pull the trigger. Damn, damn, damn.
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But damn, I HATE that I'm the one that has to pull the trigger. Damn, damn, damn.
At this point though, sounds to me like you are thinking clearly and realize that starting the proceedings is what is best for you and the kids.
Know we here at SR are with you in spirit!!!!!
Love and hugs,
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Well, I just talk to the attorney (I hadn't sent in the retainer and agreement yet, otherwise I'd call him MY attorney!)... but when he picked up the phone and I said my name, he said, "Oh good. I'm glad you called - I was waiting for you. I have all the paperwork drafted and ready to go." Paperwork meaning summons and complaint to sue AH for divorce.
We talked for a few minutes. I explained that AH has indicated he's willing to move out, willing to pay bills in the interim/separation, share custody, yada-yada-yada... I asked, "So I'd like some legal advice on how to legally protect myself." His answer... "Follow through on suing for divorce. I can send him a letter saying you've retained me... but that's a threat, and I think you're beyond that." I am. I just want to live separately from AH, but as the lawyer reminded me - I can't legally live separate from AH in NY as long as his name is on the deed. AH can always demand to come back home, and in fact, if he moves on and has his own apartment - his rent/expenses will decrease the amount of support he'll be obligated to pay me (ie. he moves out and the house becomes my sole responsibility - he leaves, I am fully on the hook for the mortgage/taxes/etc.)
There's no half-stepping this - not if I do it the right way. We could separate without any legal agreements but that leaves me swinging in the breeze with no protection... ie. AH could decide to stop paying, could take the kids and run, etc.
Ugh. AH does not want to hire an attorney for himself. He says he just wants to give me whatever I want. I think that's a bad idea.
We talked for a few minutes. I explained that AH has indicated he's willing to move out, willing to pay bills in the interim/separation, share custody, yada-yada-yada... I asked, "So I'd like some legal advice on how to legally protect myself." His answer... "Follow through on suing for divorce. I can send him a letter saying you've retained me... but that's a threat, and I think you're beyond that." I am. I just want to live separately from AH, but as the lawyer reminded me - I can't legally live separate from AH in NY as long as his name is on the deed. AH can always demand to come back home, and in fact, if he moves on and has his own apartment - his rent/expenses will decrease the amount of support he'll be obligated to pay me (ie. he moves out and the house becomes my sole responsibility - he leaves, I am fully on the hook for the mortgage/taxes/etc.)
There's no half-stepping this - not if I do it the right way. We could separate without any legal agreements but that leaves me swinging in the breeze with no protection... ie. AH could decide to stop paying, could take the kids and run, etc.
Ugh. AH does not want to hire an attorney for himself. He says he just wants to give me whatever I want. I think that's a bad idea.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
This is my favorite part
because it reminds me of when I first started to emerge from denial and enact changes in the way I dealt with my AH. Denial is a wonderful place, almost like Disney Land, where a hug can wash away the most egregious of neglects. Until the next time, of course, which always happened and left me desperate for attention for months on end.
For me, this was all about my unresolved abandonment issues. My parents used abandonment as a punishment; silent treatment, telling their friends I was horrible while I stood right there hearing it all, ridiculing me. So that totally hooked me into being a poster child for a neglectful and abusive relationship. If I could just get AH to REALLY love me, I could heal those childhood wounds. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was trying to do.
Each time AH came around, I dance the joyful dance of a child who has finally received the love she longed for. It never lasted. It was never true.
My cycle went like this:
*AH ignored me, payed attention the kids while giving me the silent treatment, payed attention to other women way more than he ever did to me, and drank himself stupid
*I raged and demanded accountability, which were all acceptable costs to him in order to continue his behavior and still have a wife who still adored him and accepted the crumbs he threw my way
* I would reach the end of my rope (and that's a long rope for me) and announce, "That's It! I can't take this anymore!"
*AH would hug me, tell me he's sorry, we'd have great make up sex and things would be wonderful for several days until the drinking and ignoring started again then
* I would lecture him, sit him down and remind him that this is what got me upset to begin with and we're not going to have a repeat are we?
Repeat.
It took 15 years of this cycle with my AH for me to finally find my ability to actually let go of him. To be able to focus on myself, my needs, my feelings, my screwed up life-and start fixing it. Regardless of what AH said to me or did in his life, I just kept returning to the one thing I can control: me.
So far, this has been the truth path to heal up that scabbed, abandonment gash in my psyche.
Looks like you're right where you need to be. Refusing to sink back into denial. It's scary Dude, freaking scary, but being honest about how I feel in that relationship, being honest with myself that I don't want him after all of this, and instead of chasing after that sad man I choose to work to making my life the most beautiful, rewarding life I can imagine. Those things have really set me free.
Our marriage is crumbling and he doesn't even seem to care. Or maybe he does and he's just to stubborn to admit it. Either way, it doesn't even matter what he does or doesn't think. All I know is what I see and what he tells me. I have to keep reminding myself that, sometimes on a minute by minute basis... Otherwise I'd get stuck in trying to figure out the "why".
For me, this was all about my unresolved abandonment issues. My parents used abandonment as a punishment; silent treatment, telling their friends I was horrible while I stood right there hearing it all, ridiculing me. So that totally hooked me into being a poster child for a neglectful and abusive relationship. If I could just get AH to REALLY love me, I could heal those childhood wounds. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was trying to do.
Each time AH came around, I dance the joyful dance of a child who has finally received the love she longed for. It never lasted. It was never true.
My cycle went like this:
*AH ignored me, payed attention the kids while giving me the silent treatment, payed attention to other women way more than he ever did to me, and drank himself stupid
*I raged and demanded accountability, which were all acceptable costs to him in order to continue his behavior and still have a wife who still adored him and accepted the crumbs he threw my way
* I would reach the end of my rope (and that's a long rope for me) and announce, "That's It! I can't take this anymore!"
*AH would hug me, tell me he's sorry, we'd have great make up sex and things would be wonderful for several days until the drinking and ignoring started again then
* I would lecture him, sit him down and remind him that this is what got me upset to begin with and we're not going to have a repeat are we?
Repeat.
It took 15 years of this cycle with my AH for me to finally find my ability to actually let go of him. To be able to focus on myself, my needs, my feelings, my screwed up life-and start fixing it. Regardless of what AH said to me or did in his life, I just kept returning to the one thing I can control: me.
So far, this has been the truth path to heal up that scabbed, abandonment gash in my psyche.
Looks like you're right where you need to be. Refusing to sink back into denial. It's scary Dude, freaking scary, but being honest about how I feel in that relationship, being honest with myself that I don't want him after all of this, and instead of chasing after that sad man I choose to work to making my life the most beautiful, rewarding life I can imagine. Those things have really set me free.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Oh, I guess you were posting while I was.
I just hope you have the strength to endure during his "I'll be good as long as you feel sorry for me and don't expect me to actually change," phase. If not, judging by my experience, you'll get another chance.
Alcoholics don't magically get better, just because their spouse says they need to or else.
I just hope you have the strength to endure during his "I'll be good as long as you feel sorry for me and don't expect me to actually change," phase. If not, judging by my experience, you'll get another chance.
Alcoholics don't magically get better, just because their spouse says they need to or else.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by transformyself
This is my favorite part
because it reminds me of when I first started to emerge from denial and enact changes in the way I dealt with my AH. Denial is a wonderful place, almost like Disney Land, where a hug can wash away the most egregious of neglects. Until the next time, of course, which always happened and left me desperate for attention for months on end.
For me, this was all about my unresolved abandonment issues. My parents used abandonment as a punishment; silent treatment, telling their friends I was horrible while I stood right there hearing it all, ridiculing me. So that totally hooked me into being a poster child for a neglectful and abusive relationship. If I could just get AH to REALLY love me, I could heal those childhood wounds. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was trying to do.
Each time AH came around, I dance the joyful dance of a child who has finally received the love she longed for. It never lasted. It was never true.
My cycle went like this:
*AH ignored me, payed attention the kids while giving me the silent treatment, payed attention to other women way more than he ever did to me, and drank himself stupid
*I raged and demanded accountability, which were all acceptable costs to him in order to continue his behavior and still have a wife who still adored him and accepted the crumbs he threw my way
* I would reach the end of my rope (and that's a long rope for me) and announce, "That's It! I can't take this anymore!"
*AH would hug me, tell me he's sorry, we'd have great make up sex and things would be wonderful for several days until the drinking and ignoring started again then
* I would lecture him, sit him down and remind him that this is what got me upset to begin with and we're not going to have a repeat are we?
Repeat.
It took 15 years of this cycle with my AH for me to finally find my ability to actually let go of him. To be able to focus on myself, my needs, my feelings, my screwed up life-and start fixing it. Regardless of what AH said to me or did in his life, I just kept returning to the one thing I can control: me.
So far, this has been the truth path to heal up that scabbed, abandonment gash in my psyche.
Looks like you're right where you need to be. Refusing to sink back into denial. It's scary Dude, freaking scary, but being honest about how I feel in that relationship, being honest with myself that I don't want him after all of this, and instead of chasing after that sad man I choose to work to making my life the most beautiful, rewarding life I can imagine. Those things have really set me free.
because it reminds me of when I first started to emerge from denial and enact changes in the way I dealt with my AH. Denial is a wonderful place, almost like Disney Land, where a hug can wash away the most egregious of neglects. Until the next time, of course, which always happened and left me desperate for attention for months on end.
For me, this was all about my unresolved abandonment issues. My parents used abandonment as a punishment; silent treatment, telling their friends I was horrible while I stood right there hearing it all, ridiculing me. So that totally hooked me into being a poster child for a neglectful and abusive relationship. If I could just get AH to REALLY love me, I could heal those childhood wounds. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was trying to do.
Each time AH came around, I dance the joyful dance of a child who has finally received the love she longed for. It never lasted. It was never true.
My cycle went like this:
*AH ignored me, payed attention the kids while giving me the silent treatment, payed attention to other women way more than he ever did to me, and drank himself stupid
*I raged and demanded accountability, which were all acceptable costs to him in order to continue his behavior and still have a wife who still adored him and accepted the crumbs he threw my way
* I would reach the end of my rope (and that's a long rope for me) and announce, "That's It! I can't take this anymore!"
*AH would hug me, tell me he's sorry, we'd have great make up sex and things would be wonderful for several days until the drinking and ignoring started again then
* I would lecture him, sit him down and remind him that this is what got me upset to begin with and we're not going to have a repeat are we?
Repeat.
It took 15 years of this cycle with my AH for me to finally find my ability to actually let go of him. To be able to focus on myself, my needs, my feelings, my screwed up life-and start fixing it. Regardless of what AH said to me or did in his life, I just kept returning to the one thing I can control: me.
So far, this has been the truth path to heal up that scabbed, abandonment gash in my psyche.
Looks like you're right where you need to be. Refusing to sink back into denial. It's scary Dude, freaking scary, but being honest about how I feel in that relationship, being honest with myself that I don't want him after all of this, and instead of chasing after that sad man I choose to work to making my life the most beautiful, rewarding life I can imagine. Those things have really set me free.
Oh my god I feel like I am you or you are me... I just had to write and say that I have found a million and one useful posts on here but hands down, reading what you just wrote under Silent Treatment, well, it just knocked the wind out of me.
Every last word you wrote, the humiliation in front of others about how bad you were, how your parents ignored you to hurt you, the silent treatment, abandonment issues, ignoring you while paying attn to your kids and other women, the I've had enough, making up...
The way you wrote it just described to an eerie degree my life exactly since I was as young as I can remember. No wonder I married an A. It was what I knew (the treatment, not the drinking) and I like you must have been looking to get those childhood needs met and clearly could not have picked a worse person for that! And now I know enough to know that no person will be able to meet those needs but me.
I have woken up a LOT in the past month and left my AH and been piecing a lot of things together but this here, this just connected a HUGE piece of the puzzle...
I am so sorry for what you grew up with and lived with and am so glad that you are in a better place now. Thank you for this post. With your permission I am going to save it as a word doc and remind myself of all of this when my own AH's I'm sorry's and I'm so sad and I miss you's start to pull at me (which they did a bit last night).
Amazing post-- thank you for it....
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