Why would my friend lie about being friends with her ex-fiance?
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 146
Why would my friend lie about being friends with her ex-fiance?
I found out from other sources that she is still friends with him. I don't care, its just that I don't get why she has to lie to me about it. The guy is a drug addict and doesn't really have a stable job. Her parents wants him out of their daughter's life.
My friend had called off the wedding last summer, still has the wedding dress and wears her engagement ring.
Id confronted her about it once and she lied about it. The guy, after they had broken up, I was helping him financially until I realized his stories weren't adding up. Then I told him that I was done with him. Not sure if he's still a drug addict and wouldn't be surprised if he's still one. Her ex-fiance told me that he wasn't using anymore when I was hanging out with him
I happened to run into the guy when he was around my friend. I can tell she still has feelings for him. Since the 2 of them had split from the engagement, my friend n I haven't talked much. She doesn't answer the phone or texts very often. Her ex doesn't like me anymore bc I finally put my foot down that I wasn't giving him any more money. I have to wonder if he's playing guilt tactics with her. Because he sort of did that to me when I didn't want to help him out anymore. Funny how people disappear when you stop giving them money.
There are a couple kids involved though they didn't have any kids together. My friend has a kid who thinks he's the "real" dad. The kid has no contact with the bio dad
They're both alcoholics so maybe its an codependency thing
My friend had called off the wedding last summer, still has the wedding dress and wears her engagement ring.
Id confronted her about it once and she lied about it. The guy, after they had broken up, I was helping him financially until I realized his stories weren't adding up. Then I told him that I was done with him. Not sure if he's still a drug addict and wouldn't be surprised if he's still one. Her ex-fiance told me that he wasn't using anymore when I was hanging out with him
I happened to run into the guy when he was around my friend. I can tell she still has feelings for him. Since the 2 of them had split from the engagement, my friend n I haven't talked much. She doesn't answer the phone or texts very often. Her ex doesn't like me anymore bc I finally put my foot down that I wasn't giving him any more money. I have to wonder if he's playing guilt tactics with her. Because he sort of did that to me when I didn't want to help him out anymore. Funny how people disappear when you stop giving them money.
There are a couple kids involved though they didn't have any kids together. My friend has a kid who thinks he's the "real" dad. The kid has no contact with the bio dad
They're both alcoholics so maybe its an codependency thing
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 151
Here's my $0.02.
You can never, ever know why anyone - alcoholic or non-alcoholic - does/thinks/says whatever it is they do/think/say.
Because you're not living *their* life. We are each *human* and we do things for logical reasons and emotional reasons.
So, why worry about "why would X do/think/say something"???
The *real* question is why - even if "your friend" is lying to you about being in contact with her ex-fiance - it bothers YOU?
Not trying to be harsh, but - I'm assuming "your friend" is above the age of consent. She can see whomever she wants for whatever reason she wants. And she doesn't have to explain it to you . . . or even tell you the truth if she doesn't want to.
If she doesn't want to come clean about it to you . . . well, how does THAT affect YOUR life?
Speaking for myself, I think it a component of "friendship" for my "friends" to have the room *they* think is necessary. So long as what they do/think/say is not harming me, then - my concept of friendship - is that I'm there to listen IF they want to share and WHEN they want to share it.
You can never, ever know why anyone - alcoholic or non-alcoholic - does/thinks/says whatever it is they do/think/say.
Because you're not living *their* life. We are each *human* and we do things for logical reasons and emotional reasons.
So, why worry about "why would X do/think/say something"???
The *real* question is why - even if "your friend" is lying to you about being in contact with her ex-fiance - it bothers YOU?
Not trying to be harsh, but - I'm assuming "your friend" is above the age of consent. She can see whomever she wants for whatever reason she wants. And she doesn't have to explain it to you . . . or even tell you the truth if she doesn't want to.
If she doesn't want to come clean about it to you . . . well, how does THAT affect YOUR life?
Speaking for myself, I think it a component of "friendship" for my "friends" to have the room *they* think is necessary. So long as what they do/think/say is not harming me, then - my concept of friendship - is that I'm there to listen IF they want to share and WHEN they want to share it.
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