browneyes1

My AH is on disability for mental disorder. He hasn't been approved for disability yet so no checks. I think it's because he just don't want to work (he hates his job). We are about to go into foreclosure and he doesn't seem to care. I don't know whether to support him for his disorder or be mad about his addiction.

Truth be told, I'm ready to walk but feel guilty.

suki44883

Do you work? You know, it's not easy to get disability these days. There's always a chance he won't be approved for it. What will you do then? Your past posts indicate that he doesn't seem to care about much of anything except drinking, and that is especially bad while he is on medication.

browneyes1

I know Suki. He doesn't care about anything but drinking. He had an appointment with his psychiatrist today and she gave him a pill so he doesn't want to drink, (?). Yes I work and would be fine on my own, I would just feel so guilty, because I don't know if it is alcoholism or mental illness with him. If he is truly sick, I would feel bad deserting him. I have been going thru this for so long I just don't know if the love is there anymore.

suki44883

Well, just something to think about...He's not your child. He is a grown man. He can take care of himself, he just doesn't want to. Even if he is bi-polar, it's not that big of a deal. They have medication for that and many, many people who have it live full, productive lives.

The drinking is another matter. He has a choice there, but he chooses to drink. Alcohol is a depressant and completely negates any positive affect his anti-depressants could have. His own decisions are what is making things so difficult.

None of these things are you fault. You cannot live your life taking care of someone who doesn't want to help himself. You deserve better and if you were to leave, you would have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. He can change his life if he wants to. If he doesn't want to, having you there serves no purpose.

kittykitty

:ghug3
Only you know what's best for you.
I'm sending you hugs, because that's all I got

browneyes1

Thank you, you have made me feel better about my feelings. I thought maybe I was just being selfish. Still not sure what I'm going to do at this point but I'm sure I will be making a decision soon,.