Ok heres my story.....

Old 11-13-2003, 11:58 AM
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Ok heres my story.....

Please bear with me this might be long ....



My mother has been an heroin addict since she was 13, she called it self medicating (she has Bipolar as so do I) With that at 21 she became pregnant with me..After I was born 2 weeks later, she could not handle being a mother and did not want that kind of life for me...So off to my grandparents I went...

In that time I have lived with her twice, once when I was 8 and when I was 17...She was in and out of prison most of the time...Although she gave me to my grandparents, they wanted her to take on her responability to be a mother...So they forced her to take me when I was 4, and she did, I lived with her for about a week w/ some old man that she lived with...well the man that she lived with molested me..and that was the end of that, I went back to my grandparents...

When I became a teenager, I really starting hating my mother, I hated everyone, got into alot of trouble, went into a group home at 14 until I was 17...My mother then decided to get help with her addiction, she has been on a methodone clinic ever since, I am now 27....

I love my mother now, and realize she has a problem, in the past couple of years she found out that she has Hep C...


In the past couple of years since I have become a mother myself I have become a mother to my own mother...Many times she has come to my house high..The one time she came at night, she went down to Philly to cop drugs, they guy she went with left her down there, some woman (god bless her soul) helped my mother get on a train and get home...She came straight to my house...She looked dead and was covered in blood...I freaked, she had her monthly and thats what the blood was from..*note she has Hep C* I took her in and told my husband to takethe kids somewhere were they would not come in contact with her...I took her to my bathroom undressed her and cleaned her up...


My mother has no consideration for my family, my husband cant stand her, and told me she is not aloud in the house anymore...This broke my heart...

There are many more stories, but I will not go on....

One last thing, I will never understand, everyone calls this addiction a "disease" ok my son has a disease called PVL (brain disorder) he had no choice in the matter...My mother had a choice in her life, she was not born with heroin in her viens....It angers me to no end to hear, "well, its a disease"...NO ITS NOT, ITS A CHOICE!

Anyway...Thank you for listening....
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Old 11-14-2003, 05:34 AM
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JT
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Welcome Robin,

The disease vs choice issue is one that gets hotly debated all the time. My view or yours does not chnage the fact that is sucks all the way around.

Your life has been rough as have many of ours. Someone quite recently told me that I got screwed...it kind if put it in perspective for me. You got screwed too and there is nothing either one of us can do about it.

About your mother today? We shouldn't have to parent our parents because of issues with drugs...we shouldn't have to parent our grown children either when they are addicts. There is not a whole lot of difference.

Personally I look at my own quality of life with the addict in it and with the addict NOT in it. I love my addicts (yes multiple) and depending on their own behavior I try to make decisions about my level of involvement. Let me ask you this. Do you love who your mother IS or who you wish she was?

Surely your mother showing up on your doorstep high and covered with blood is bad. I can't say I blame your husband for his stance...his children could be affected.

I have no answers for you except to say that you need to take care of yourself. You are an adult now, you have your own home and your own children. You are no longer being passed around among the family.

I wish you well,
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Old 11-14-2003, 06:01 AM
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I love my mother, for who she is when she is clean...If thats what you mean? I am just tired of being her mother, when she is messed up....But you are right, I have my own family now....I have told my mother not to come around when she has fallen...But she seems to just throw my words out the window and do what ever she pleases...I know what you mean when you say multiple addicts, my mom (heroin) my aunt (alcohol) my uncle (alcohol) so I know what you are saying there...I must say though my uncle cleaned himself up, my aunt she still drinks, but has slowed down alot (from what I have been told) I dont see her anymore...My mother, well shes doing pretty good *righ now* until she gets depressed or what ever....I dont know sometimes I am just an angry person, towards her...Why couldnt I have a *so called* normal life....

Thank you for your kind words....
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Old 11-14-2003, 09:26 AM
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Have you considered 12 step meetings?? There is Alanon, Naranon, CoDa or ACA....I have found alot of comfort and instruction in the 12 steps. The storm around me continues to roar but I am having a nice life. It is possible to not have the life sucked out of you by this.

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