New with story and question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
New with story and question
Hello,
It's so weird to think that today was the day I finally decided I need help to quit drinking. It started off like any normal day, but by the end I was sitting in my bed thinking, this is the end: I do not want to drink anymore. And when I saw that I meant that in a new way, I felt really worried, because there is a bottle of wine and several large beers downstairs chilling in the fridge and tomorrow night there is a wine function at work that I am expected to attend and next week we are going to Thailand and my husband has been going on about how he cannot wait to sit on the beach with a drink in hand. I can see that if I were to try to do this alone, on my own, I would fail. I then, I remembered that this was the first AA step: admitting powerlessness. Up until today I didn't feel powerless. Maybe I was, but I didn't feel it. So today, now that I can see I won't accomplish this on my own, it is time to make a change.
I'm not sure I am an alcoholic. I don't usually have wine in the house, or go out of my way to buy it very often. Sometimes I think I am just as happy to drink tea. But with tea, I can have one glass and be done. Not so wine. I have to drink all of whatever wine is there, once I start. If only one small bottle is in the house - I drink it and I am fine. One big bottle? - I'll drink that. 2 or 3 bottles? Sure. I just drink it if it's there. The worst is parties where there is lots of wine. I do not want to be like this.
I've quit drinking several times, with no with-drawls and I go for weeks without missing wine, except at the end of a long day. Then something comes along: a work event with wine (my co-workers drink a lot) or my husband brings home all the fixings for a bloody mary, or we travel somewhere (we travel a lot). I intend to just have one glass, but I have been doing this thing over the last year or so where can only remember having a few drinks - maybe 4ish - and, in fact, I have drank 3 bottles. It's exactly as if my brain shuts off after a small number of drinks and leaves me to just randomly drink and act insane. I sincerely do not know how it happens or how to stop it. I have tried bringing bottles of soda water with me when I go out to put in my wine to slow me down; I have tried drinking drinks I don't like very much (I am not a beer fan); I've tried buying little bottles of wine; I've tried little glasses and rules about when they can be refilled - nothing changes: I get around wine, try to have just a bit, and end up completely drunk with huge chunks of memory missing (this is happening all the time now, in the last year or so).
I just HAVE to stop. I want to stop. I am not sure how I am going to navigate my life though. Everyone and everything around me is drink oriented. That's why I am here. I thought, if I could get involved with an online support group (I live in China - from the US - and even the AA meetings online looked like that because of the time-zones it would be challenging) then maybe I can connect with a few people who can help me stay on track though all of this. Starting tomorrow. My day-two will be topped off with a wine event. Fun.
So, my question is, how best to take advantage of this site? Are there "classes" that form on certain dates? Are there people like semi-sponsor types that will help you get through the difficult parts? If not on this website, maybe another? Also, does anyone know if the online meetings on AA are 'talking' or 'typing' chat? If I do manage to get to one, the time would be off for me (later at night) and talking chat my be disruptive to my family watching TV, etc.
If I do this, it has to be done with alcohol all around me. I will need help.
Any tips on how to get the best support out of this site would be great. Thank you!
It's so weird to think that today was the day I finally decided I need help to quit drinking. It started off like any normal day, but by the end I was sitting in my bed thinking, this is the end: I do not want to drink anymore. And when I saw that I meant that in a new way, I felt really worried, because there is a bottle of wine and several large beers downstairs chilling in the fridge and tomorrow night there is a wine function at work that I am expected to attend and next week we are going to Thailand and my husband has been going on about how he cannot wait to sit on the beach with a drink in hand. I can see that if I were to try to do this alone, on my own, I would fail. I then, I remembered that this was the first AA step: admitting powerlessness. Up until today I didn't feel powerless. Maybe I was, but I didn't feel it. So today, now that I can see I won't accomplish this on my own, it is time to make a change.
I'm not sure I am an alcoholic. I don't usually have wine in the house, or go out of my way to buy it very often. Sometimes I think I am just as happy to drink tea. But with tea, I can have one glass and be done. Not so wine. I have to drink all of whatever wine is there, once I start. If only one small bottle is in the house - I drink it and I am fine. One big bottle? - I'll drink that. 2 or 3 bottles? Sure. I just drink it if it's there. The worst is parties where there is lots of wine. I do not want to be like this.
I've quit drinking several times, with no with-drawls and I go for weeks without missing wine, except at the end of a long day. Then something comes along: a work event with wine (my co-workers drink a lot) or my husband brings home all the fixings for a bloody mary, or we travel somewhere (we travel a lot). I intend to just have one glass, but I have been doing this thing over the last year or so where can only remember having a few drinks - maybe 4ish - and, in fact, I have drank 3 bottles. It's exactly as if my brain shuts off after a small number of drinks and leaves me to just randomly drink and act insane. I sincerely do not know how it happens or how to stop it. I have tried bringing bottles of soda water with me when I go out to put in my wine to slow me down; I have tried drinking drinks I don't like very much (I am not a beer fan); I've tried buying little bottles of wine; I've tried little glasses and rules about when they can be refilled - nothing changes: I get around wine, try to have just a bit, and end up completely drunk with huge chunks of memory missing (this is happening all the time now, in the last year or so).
I just HAVE to stop. I want to stop. I am not sure how I am going to navigate my life though. Everyone and everything around me is drink oriented. That's why I am here. I thought, if I could get involved with an online support group (I live in China - from the US - and even the AA meetings online looked like that because of the time-zones it would be challenging) then maybe I can connect with a few people who can help me stay on track though all of this. Starting tomorrow. My day-two will be topped off with a wine event. Fun.
So, my question is, how best to take advantage of this site? Are there "classes" that form on certain dates? Are there people like semi-sponsor types that will help you get through the difficult parts? If not on this website, maybe another? Also, does anyone know if the online meetings on AA are 'talking' or 'typing' chat? If I do manage to get to one, the time would be off for me (later at night) and talking chat my be disruptive to my family watching TV, etc.
If I do this, it has to be done with alcohol all around me. I will need help.
Any tips on how to get the best support out of this site would be great. Thank you!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Casade.... I had a big reply typed out but it looks like your post was moved from the "1st step" forum and my reply wasn't able to follow it......and I can't get it back on my browser. ......now I have to get moving to get to work......
sorry..... just don't have the time to retype it all.
thanks for posting though and maybe I'll be able to get back to ya later.
I'm sure everyone here will have lots of opinions for ya tho.
sorry..... just don't have the time to retype it all.
thanks for posting though and maybe I'll be able to get back to ya later.
I'm sure everyone here will have lots of opinions for ya tho.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi Cascade and welcome
I moved your post here so you'd get a lot more response and hopefully a better feel for the place. (sorry about that DT)
I identify with never being able to leave an empty bottle.
Over 20 years I can count the number of times I did on one hand...usually because I passed out....and then I finished it the next morning or whatever.
You're wise to look at the problem now
As far as the site goes we're open to a lot of recovery methods.
A lot of our members use AA but I myself do not, so I'm unsure where online AA meetings are on the net or how they work. I'm sure someone else will be along with that kind of information though
There are no classes on this site as such...we have the forums for discussion, and the chat rooms too.
I think the best thing to do is to have a look around as much as you like and familarise yourself. Post as much as you like too - you'll find a lot of support here.
D
I moved your post here so you'd get a lot more response and hopefully a better feel for the place. (sorry about that DT)
I identify with never being able to leave an empty bottle.
Over 20 years I can count the number of times I did on one hand...usually because I passed out....and then I finished it the next morning or whatever.
You're wise to look at the problem now
As far as the site goes we're open to a lot of recovery methods.
A lot of our members use AA but I myself do not, so I'm unsure where online AA meetings are on the net or how they work. I'm sure someone else will be along with that kind of information though
There are no classes on this site as such...we have the forums for discussion, and the chat rooms too.
I think the best thing to do is to have a look around as much as you like and familarise yourself. Post as much as you like too - you'll find a lot of support here.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Casade, welcome to SR. You sound very intelligent to be realizing there is a problem before something tragic happens. I wasn't sure I was an alcoholic and still not sure but alcohol created problems for me when I drank I drank too much and blacked out, nearly died in 1 of those blackouts before I had the sense to quit drinking. I didn't use AA meetings but I did read the AA literatures and incorporated a version of the 12 steps into my recovery and it was a God send, I love my new life free from alcohol. There's all types of people here 24/7, I hope you read all you can and post often.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Hi Cascade...and Welcome...!!
If you start reading around this site alot of your questions may be answered. There are many types of drinkers.
People do you this site and will power. Good Luck.
If you start reading around this site alot of your questions may be answered. There are many types of drinkers.
People do you this site and will power. Good Luck.
...is learning and growing...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 573
Welcome!
I'm fairly new here too but so far I've already benefited tremendously from everyone's encouragement/insight. You question whether you are truly alcoholic (and I imagine most of us here have done that)...but if you weren't, the question wouldn't even come up IMHO. All labeling aside, as far as the frequent wine blackouts go, and I KNOW how scary those are, that's enough to jolt one into action and I'm so happy you're choosing to make a change.
Best of luck and again welcome!!!
I'm fairly new here too but so far I've already benefited tremendously from everyone's encouragement/insight. You question whether you are truly alcoholic (and I imagine most of us here have done that)...but if you weren't, the question wouldn't even come up IMHO. All labeling aside, as far as the frequent wine blackouts go, and I KNOW how scary those are, that's enough to jolt one into action and I'm so happy you're choosing to make a change.
Best of luck and again welcome!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Welcome. When I started here I pretty much opened every sub-forum and poked around. Then I read about 15 pages back of each forum that most applied to me. Of course I didn't read every thread but there's a ton of stuff to get you started that way.
And if I had specific questions I'd start a thread. People have been really helpful.
Good luck!
And if I had specific questions I'd start a thread. People have been really helpful.
Good luck!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think everyone here can relate to your story: not being able to stop once we have the first drink, and trying all kinds of things to moderate. It's a real relief not to have to do all that anymore!
You chose a great place to come - it's been a lifeline for me. :ghug3
You chose a great place to come - it's been a lifeline for me. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
I can relate completely. What you are describing hun is alcoholism. Period. The physical craving after we take the first drink. Normal drinkers simply don't have that reaction. I do though. When I drink a drink, it demands a second. Then those two drinks demand a third, then those three drinks demand a fourth. I drink way more than I need to but never as much as I want.
AA has worked very well for me and I'm sure it will work for you.
Hang in there, one day at a time!!!
If you want to listen to some interesting speakers regarding AA just let me know and I'll send it to you.
AA has worked very well for me and I'm sure it will work for you.
Hang in there, one day at a time!!!
If you want to listen to some interesting speakers regarding AA just let me know and I'll send it to you.
Cascade! Your story is very familiar to me too. I have found this site very helpful.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 85
My life also revolved around alot of drinking when I decided to quit, but it was amazing how things began to shift. I was way more adaptable than I knew, and life morphed (albeit slowly) to create a new world for me. I am still around drinking, but I have a whole new way of enjoying myself sober. It is actually easier!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Yeah you won't find many people here that didn't want to stop drinking once they started. One of my alcohol of choice was Sangria. Carlos Rossi and I was on the half gallon a night plan. That was AFTER hitting the bars drinking whiskey and beer. My time to relax at home don't ya know... My point being..the liquor store advised me to get a gallon. Cheaper..(it is rot gut cheap anyway) ...YEAH RIGHT. If there was a gallon I would be hell bent to polish it off before bedtime. And bedtime..was whenever it was that I had drank all there was in the house. I knew I was killing myself slowly but surely.
I knew drinking was no longer an option. SR has been a great source of support...truly a lifeline. It will be a great supplement to AA for you!! Welcome!
I knew drinking was no longer an option. SR has been a great source of support...truly a lifeline. It will be a great supplement to AA for you!! Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
Welcome. I have an on-line AA sponsor through Lamplighters. A web search should help you find them. It's an on-line AA group. To be honest, I just slipped after 3 months of sobriety, and now I think I need AA in person, too. Many of us spent the first few days (weeks!) on SR around the clock...it's amazing. I also travel a lot and spend lots of time with drinkers. I am finding my way in this new, sober life, and it's scary and wonderful. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Posts: 217
Welcome Casade!
That's my story too.
If out with friends I can drink 2-3 drinks and be fine.
Sometimes I would buy wine for the day and for the next day or upcoming weekend- all at one time. I found out I couldn't "save" any wine for later. Whatever was there, I would drink it all up. It's like after 3 drinks my self-control was absent.
I was glad to find this site. I was amazed that people were writing a lot of what I was feeling, going through and wondering about. You'll like it here!
That's my story too.
If out with friends I can drink 2-3 drinks and be fine.
Sometimes I would buy wine for the day and for the next day or upcoming weekend- all at one time. I found out I couldn't "save" any wine for later. Whatever was there, I would drink it all up. It's like after 3 drinks my self-control was absent.
I was glad to find this site. I was amazed that people were writing a lot of what I was feeling, going through and wondering about. You'll like it here!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
Posts: 233
Hey.. I have been in your same situation many times. Honestly, It is not going to be easy to be around all of that drinking so soon. Once you get past the first "declining of the drink" you will feel a bit of relief... but you will still be thinking about it throughout the entire party. Perhaps if there is someone close to you that you could tell and bring for support it would help a lot. I am only telling you this because the worst thing you can possibly do is not to be prepared for the difficulty of this. I'd honestly suggest meditating an hour or so before you go and concentrate and telling yourself that you can not drink.. re live all of those terrible moments and get ready for an awkward night. You can definitely do it though. I have resisted the urge at parties by constantly focusing on my goal. My problem was not sticking with it the next week.
You are not powerless, you just realize that it is not going to be easy. It won't be for me, and hasn't been for anyone here.
Best of luck to you! It will get better!!
Oh yeah... my room mate drinks so there is always beer in the fridge. Every time I open the fridge I have to look at it. I just focus and say screw that. get what I need and call it a success for now.
You are not powerless, you just realize that it is not going to be easy. It won't be for me, and hasn't been for anyone here.
Best of luck to you! It will get better!!
Oh yeah... my room mate drinks so there is always beer in the fridge. Every time I open the fridge I have to look at it. I just focus and say screw that. get what I need and call it a success for now.
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