March7

Calling myself an alcoholic is another uncomfortable part of joining AA. I KNOW I'm an alcoholic. Why do I have to SAY it?
I'm sure I'll get over it somehow? But right now it is one of the things I am mentally wrestling with. I'm going to my 2nd AA meeting at 5:30. This is one of the excuses I made when I dropped out of AA last year without giving it a fair shot. Now I have another wasted year because of stupid pride and stubbornness. But I still can't help feeling like I just don't want to SAY it. Or say it while rolling my eyes "yeah, yeah, I'm an alcoholic, whatever"

I'm sorry, I know I'm being absurd and obnoxious. Will saying it ever come naturally and without this internal turmoil?

GettingStronger2

So don't say it.

bellakeller

You could ID yourself as someone who has the desire not to drink today.

Yes, it gets less cumbersome as time goes by. I don't think of it anymore when introducing myself. It's no big deal after a bit.

EmeraldRose

Saying it is part of admitting it. Everytime we have a new person in rehab we introduce ourselves (first name) and why we are there. Some are there for drugs, some for alcohol. I think it gives others a perspective of why you are there. It's just part of the 'social' introduction.
Some are also family members trying to deal with an alcoholic in the family.
I don't have a problem with it. When I say it I am also reminding myself why I am really there and knowing it is a bond that brings us all together.

keithj

One of the best gifts you can give yourself in AA is to find out if you really are an alcoholic. Don't just say it because you want to fit in, but really find out. Have a recovered alcoholic take you through the Dr.'s Opinion and 1st 3 chapters of the BB and see if the description of the alcoholic fits you. Don't cheat yourself out of a real Step 1 experience.

The formal directions for Step 1 are to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic. Saying it aloud in a meeting is a far cry from fully conceding deep down within.

March7

I read the doctors opinion and the first 2 chapters last night, for the first time. There is zero doubt in my mind I am an alcoholic. I just feel super awkward saying it. I want to make AA work for me, so I'm trying not to leave any stone unturned, and get these thoughts out on SR so I have no way of talking myself out of going to the meeting later.

Never occurred to me to just not say it. Lol. But I also don't want to stick out in any way. I want to blend in and be invisible.

If saying it is part of admitting it, then say it I will. Gosh I just wish I could turn my brain off sometimes.

kiki5711

I use to say "Hi, my name is..... and I'm here for abuse of alcohol".

Nowdays, I really don't have a problem saying "i'm an alcoholic", but at first I did as well.

MIBluebird

The first meeting I went to I couldn't make myself say it, not because I didn't think I was an alcoholic, just because it felt so uncomfortable. I went to my second meeting last Saturday and with some hesitation, I was able to say it and then said, "that's the first time I've ever admitted that." I have to say it was a huge relief and I think I'll be fine from now on.

Zube

Saying it owns it.

Zube

Inafishbowl

Not wanting to say it passed after the first few meetings. But what trips me out..I MEAN REALLY REALLY TRIPS ME OUT is when the question is posed, "are there any other alcoholics here today?". The ones who get a big smile and raise their hands with glee totally throw me for a loop. However it would be nice to have what they have. Not sure I'll ever be that excited.

Sara1956

How about alcohol intolerant? It sounds a little nicer?

March7

I mean, if they told me to stand there and say "I'm March7 and I'm a Giraffe" and I KNEW it would work for me, I would do it. Happily. I'm just trying to figure this all out.

JohnBarleycorn

Your addiction is no one's business except those you care about and trust.

You do not have to say, and probably should not say, anything about it to anyone else.

Mark75

Unity.

That's how I see it.

jamdls

The first couple of AA meetings I attended I only said "hi my name is Judy", I wasn't comfortable saying I'm an alcoholic, I quit going after a couple of meetings because I decided I wasn't an alcoholic. Then several years later I had to quit drinking (or die) so I did, and I again went to a few AA meetings and I still didn't feel comfortable saying "I'm an alcoholic" but I said it anyhow and eventually I came to "own" it and believe it and I've been recovered for 3.5 yrs now.

cabledude

Remember your reaction over each of the people in the meeting who identified themselves as alcoholic? How it stayed with your morning and night and you kept turning it over, reviewing their body language and what the inflection of their voice might have meant as they said it?

What? You didn't? You mean it didn't upset you or matter to you in the least?

Then you have a good idea how earthshaking it is to anyone present if you just say your name and hold off on identifying as an alcoholic for now. No one will shout and spill their coffee. They are thinking about themselves, not at all about you. The pressure is off.

bellakeller

actually, you'll draw even more attention to yourself if you don't say what everyone else is saying during intros.

DayTrader

LOLOLOL..... Oh March..... you SOOOOO remind me of myself in this one.

I knew I needed SOMETHING to get better. I KNEW I needed a lot of changing...... but every suggestion "they" gave me was met with (in my head) "I don't care if it workds or not.....I'm just NOT doing that one.."

LOL@my defiance. Heh..... and I KNEW my defiance was costly too.... I knew it was hurting me to just reject everything - and I kept on doing it even AFTER I started to LIKE AA. lol......that just doesn't make ANY sense! ---well, it does IF I'm a "real alkie" heh

Each time I'd start doubting if I really was or wasn't..... like clockwork......I'd hear something or do something that prettymuch removed ALL doubt.

I tell my guys if they're not comfortable saying it (they can't admit to their innermost self that they're an alcoholic yet......) to just say their name, their last drink date, and that they're still figuring out if they're a real alcoholic or not. -- total honesty right?

Spawn

admitting I was an alcoholic out loud was a relief for me

March7

Well, I just left my 2nd meeting. I managed to introduce myself as an alcoholic and not a giraffe. So, yay.