Sobriety without AA?
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Somewhere in my head!
Posts: 41
Sobriety without AA?
Hello all,
I was wondering if there any others out there that have worked and succeeded with their sobriety. I've tried AA many times but can never get past a certain point. I don't agree with many of the teachings. There are many other reasons as well and that has left me very frustrated.
Any help would be appreciated.
I was wondering if there any others out there that have worked and succeeded with their sobriety. I've tried AA many times but can never get past a certain point. I don't agree with many of the teachings. There are many other reasons as well and that has left me very frustrated.
Any help would be appreciated.
Hi LifeIsCake
There's a few of us here who've not used AA.
Here's a link to some of the main recovery players - including AA but I hope you may find something there that you think may be more your scene...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
You might also like to check out our Secular Connections forum if you haven't already
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
There's a few of us here who've not used AA.
Here's a link to some of the main recovery players - including AA but I hope you may find something there that you think may be more your scene...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
You might also like to check out our Secular Connections forum if you haven't already
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Nearly 18 months here, no AA in a long time. It's not readily available around here. I'd encourage anyone to give AA a go, the support and structure I think is great in recovery, but if it's not for you there are other options that can work.
I used to be very worried that if I didn't do the 12 steps I was doomed to relapse sooner or later or to become a 'dry drunk' but I'm still sober and am feeling okay in sobriety. I am so different now to the person I was when I was drinking.
My main sources of help are local counseling services, also my own personal spiritual beliefs. It's not necessarily 'easier' than AA, it's still difficult and challenging sometimes, confronting on the personal level, but very rewarding.
I used to be very worried that if I didn't do the 12 steps I was doomed to relapse sooner or later or to become a 'dry drunk' but I'm still sober and am feeling okay in sobriety. I am so different now to the person I was when I was drinking.
My main sources of help are local counseling services, also my own personal spiritual beliefs. It's not necessarily 'easier' than AA, it's still difficult and challenging sometimes, confronting on the personal level, but very rewarding.
AA didn't work for me either Life, but there are lots of other programs that aren't based on the AA 12 steps model. I belong to SOS (Secular Organization for Sobriety, aka Save Our Selves). You could also try LifeRing Secular Recovery, SMART and Rational Recovery. I've recently read Empowering Your Sober Self, by Martin Nicolaus, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Some folks have successfully relied entirely on Sober Recovery for support and fellowship. I think that any of these programs can work for you if you really, really want to be sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Would also just add, if I'd done AA I don't think it would have been enough by itself, I had alcoholism but also some underlying disorders and depression, that is for health professionals to work out. That is a suggestion to maybe think of trying, if applicable for you - maybe you need more help along with AA. Try not to quit a program just on impulse, the road can get tough with all of them and it's all too easy to end up doing that.
Most people get sober without AA. The actual majority get sober on their own without any program. AA is the largest recovery "group" and by virtue the largest number of folks that have gotten sober from a group have gotten sober through AA. Unfortunately, the success rate or failure rate of all methods including AA is about the same.
If you are a group person, there are a number of alternative groups also. There is SMART Recovery, Lifering, Women For Sobriety, SOS, and a number of others. I currently, though don't participate in any much, am a member of a Lifering list and have participated about 11 years. I have also been part of AA and Smart. Mostly today I just do my own thing. Instead of concentrating on not drinking I concentrate on things I can and would like to do. Currently at 51, I am training for a Half Marathon. I am vacationing in Jupiter Florida and ran 10 miles Saturday and 6 yesterday. I have a great job and family and thought for a while that I would never be where I am today. What brought me forward was "looking past" the drinking and looking for things I can do. The fact that I can't drink is an accepted give, once that is established, why beat that horse. I think often I got so wrapped up in that it took me longer to get past it. Once I just accepted it and moved on, things got better quickly. (well relatively).
If you are a group person, there are a number of alternative groups also. There is SMART Recovery, Lifering, Women For Sobriety, SOS, and a number of others. I currently, though don't participate in any much, am a member of a Lifering list and have participated about 11 years. I have also been part of AA and Smart. Mostly today I just do my own thing. Instead of concentrating on not drinking I concentrate on things I can and would like to do. Currently at 51, I am training for a Half Marathon. I am vacationing in Jupiter Florida and ran 10 miles Saturday and 6 yesterday. I have a great job and family and thought for a while that I would never be where I am today. What brought me forward was "looking past" the drinking and looking for things I can do. The fact that I can't drink is an accepted give, once that is established, why beat that horse. I think often I got so wrapped up in that it took me longer to get past it. Once I just accepted it and moved on, things got better quickly. (well relatively).
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 232
I have been taking the same approach as Least...seing an addiction counsellor regularily and usaing this site.
Its important that you have a good support system around you and the people in your life are supportive of your desire to quit.
Its important that you have a good support system around you and the people in your life are supportive of your desire to quit.
I don't use AA in my recovery. And while I totally respect those of whom have found success working the program of AA, I do know there are other ways to 'get and stay' sober. I would never say "AA didn't work for me" because I never gave it a full effort. But, I can share what I did.. I joined here, first of all.. read, posted, read some more, and I got my butt into an addictions psychologist and saw him 2x a week for about 6 or 7 months. He recommended a few good books to supplement my recovery work, and all in all it was all the support I personally needed at the time to begin and stay with my recovery journey. I will say, that I don't know if I could have just stopped.. I had some work to do on myself, and my recovery has been life changing, not just beverage changing.
Take a look at the thread that Dee posted, there's a lot of different ways to enhance your recovery journey.
Good luck!
Take a look at the thread that Dee posted, there's a lot of different ways to enhance your recovery journey.
Good luck!
I have recovered mostly on my own. I'm a loner and had done most of my drinking in the final few years alone so I figured I'd recover on my own, I went to a couple of AA meetings but they weren't for me, however, I used the basis of the 12 steps to model my own recovery plan. Between my version of the steps, lots of self exploration, and faith and guidance from above I've been happily recovered for 3 1/2 yrs.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
I will go to AA meetings, but more as an enhancement to my recovery than a primary source. I come here to SR, read a lot and have an older sister who has years of sobriety that helps me immensely (w/o judgment).
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,938
The fact of the matter is no single recovery program is appropriate for everyone. Fortunately today there are choices in healthy recovery programs. Some people choose to develop a recovery program that meets their individual needs. Others choose a more formal program. Whatever the choice, recovery happens for a great many people that decide to live a healthy life free from addiction.
The success I'm having in recovery is basically of my own making. I make use of the available recovery, support and life skills options that is out there. From that I empower myself to develop a satisfying drug free lifestyle.
Find something that works for you and work it.
The success I'm having in recovery is basically of my own making. I make use of the available recovery, support and life skills options that is out there. From that I empower myself to develop a satisfying drug free lifestyle.
Find something that works for you and work it.
I think AA is great for many people. I tried it out and like you, LifeIsCake, found that it wasn't the right fit for me.
I saw a counselor in my first few weeks (and worked hard on the assignments she gave me) and since then have used SR as my primary support. It helps that my boyfriend and many friends have been incredibly supportive too -- without this mix of SR and "real life" support this could not have worked for me! But it has -- I am so glad to be sober!
I saw a counselor in my first few weeks (and worked hard on the assignments she gave me) and since then have used SR as my primary support. It helps that my boyfriend and many friends have been incredibly supportive too -- without this mix of SR and "real life" support this could not have worked for me! But it has -- I am so glad to be sober!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: North Jersey, NJ
Posts: 41
I'm a newbie too. 11 days sober. I don't think I'll use AA but I do find alot of support here. The people of SR really helped me get to this point. I also plan on reading. That's my goal for this weekend. Review books. I think we do what we feel will work for each individual. As long as it works, that's what counts. I wish you the best of luck and welcome to SR!
I think a problem is that people want to use AA to quit drinking but they also need to realize that quitting and to 'stay quitting' is a whole 'nother ballgame.
After I finish rehab, I intended on going to weekly meetings. Basically for moral support and the main reason of not getting lazy and complacent with my recovery.
It is easy to get too comfortable and think everything is ok...then feelings and situations override your will and that's when relapse can happen. Then comes the drink.
I will consider staying involved for just about the rest of my life to keep my mind in the right mindset. I think having friends, staying involved and being there for others is important.
But any way you can do it...is good! =)
After I finish rehab, I intended on going to weekly meetings. Basically for moral support and the main reason of not getting lazy and complacent with my recovery.
It is easy to get too comfortable and think everything is ok...then feelings and situations override your will and that's when relapse can happen. Then comes the drink.
I will consider staying involved for just about the rest of my life to keep my mind in the right mindset. I think having friends, staying involved and being there for others is important.
But any way you can do it...is good! =)
I was sober on my own for 5 1/2 years and then relapsed. Once I relapsed, I had trouble staying sober for more than a few weeks before I would relapse again. I gave up and decided to try AA and I'm glad I did. I got a sponsor and did the steps because I wanted to put a sincere effort into AA. I didn't have any big "aha!" moments when I did the steps, but I've learned quite a bit from other people at meetings. I try to go to meetings that talk about solutions rather than meetings that are more about drinking stories.
When I relapsed after 5 years it was because I got complacent and thought I could drink like a normal person. I go to a few AA meetings a week now to be reminded that I can't drink like a normal person so that I don't get complacent again.
When I relapsed after 5 years it was because I got complacent and thought I could drink like a normal person. I go to a few AA meetings a week now to be reminded that I can't drink like a normal person so that I don't get complacent again.
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