BeckyB1967

My mother recently was killed in an auto accident where she was going east bound in the west bound lanes of the interstate highway. As my sister and I are working through things left behind, it seems that she and I either lack memories or have completely different memories of certain situations. Is it typical for children of alcoholics to completely block things out or re-write the memories? It is so odd that she and I shared a childhood but have very different memories of it.

The strangest one is this--we lived in the country on a farm. Apparently we had a pet squirrel who had been injured living in our house. Apparently his name was Bubba. I was a teenager at the time. I don't remember this squirrel. Very strange! I know that at the time all I wanted to do was get away from home, but surely I would remember a live squirrel in the house!

:skiptrip:

giblert

I know exactly what you mean! My childhood memories, even into my teen years are so spotty, or so different than my sister's. I've always wondered if it was an adult child thing or possibly a violence thing as I grew up in a really violent household, but I've never been able to find anything on the subject. What about the rest of you?

JT

One of Dr Phil's 'isms is that there is no reality only perception. I believe this. We all see things through our own eyes, colored by our own experiences.

When my parents got divorced and I was in my teens my brother and I were on totally different sides of the street where my parents were concerned. We both lived in the same house but we had completly different relationships with our parents.

It is interesting when you think about it.
Hugs,
JT

Paulie

This is how it is with me too. I remember things differently, and some not at all. One of my sisters and I cannot even agree on what the name of our horse was??? LOL!

12stepmarce

When I was first in recovery, my memories seemed very hazy. I believe now this is because I had to control them. With recovery, my memories started to emerge. I believe it's because I could handle the emotions.

Recovery helped me regain a sense of reality. I no longer live in my "head." I no longer feel in the middle of what the alcoholics wanted me to see and what I really saw.

Recovery works. You regain you. It's slow. It's interesting. It can hurt. But the pain of recovery is so worth the gain.

Go for it!

osier59

I have had the same experience as well. I have spotty memories of childhood, and more than a few yrs that I cant remember at all. I dont remember teachers names, etc..

My counselor told me that those memories will come back to me in time... apparently when I have worked through some things. Im hoping the step work I am doing will help me in that process!

saucy

Very very strange, I too was raised in an alcoholic home with my sister [passed away in 96] five years older than myself, and I honestly do not remember any interaction with her, I cant even picture her in the house we shared, the only thing that does stand out is when she got married, this is the first time Ive heard anybody else mention any such thing, and I never talked about it. I always figured being an addict and a selfcentred sob was why. the old brain sure is a strange thing. Saucy

Curious

I Guess I Belong Up Here Too!! I Have VERY Little Memories Of My Childhood Too. I Grew Up In A Violent Setting Also. All My Chosen Mates Were Alcoholics/Addicts...I Guess Not Only Do I Work Naranon, I Need To Start Working This, Huh?

Jennifer78

I have very spotty memories as well. I'm very new in recovery and I've noticed that since I've stopped drinking, I've been having some very angry thoughts towards my parents, especially my mom. (They're both alcoholics). I guess a lot of it is trying to block out painful memories.

sadmama

These stories of no memories seem so familiar. I guess you could say we all have no memories because they are too painful to bear.
It took me 6 years to sort through the past and come to terms with the truth. I had become so comfortable with my fantasy memories that it was dificult to sort out the true memories from the false ones.
I believe that sexual, mental, and verbal abuse are all destructive to our minds and hearts. mine were many,, and very painfull. I have managed to let go of the anger. But am finding it very difficult to watch my child become an alcoholic and not be angry.