crisplover

I bought a book yesterday as someone mentioned that they had also got it. Under the influence. I had it special delivered so I would have it for the weekend.

I came home and my daughter had opened it and seen what it was.

I don't know who I am most angry with... her? me? the stigma that this bloody addition has?

I'm really really angry though.

The good thing is that I intended to buy some drink today and her seeing that I bought that book has kinda slapped me in the face and I didn't buy any.

So tired of this fight

Anna

So, in the end it helped you to stay sober today, that your daughter has seen the book.

Sometimes messages that we need come to us in ways that seem annoying, scary or maddening. But, the main thing is that the message gets through.

I, too, am frustrated by the stigma of alcoholism. For that reason, I kept my recovery as a private issue, as much as possible. Of course, I can understand your being frustrated that your daughter opened your mail. That's another issue. I remember hiding the book 'Drinking: A Love Story' while I was reading it. Sigh...

sailorjohn

I think you have a legitimate right to be upset, the package wasn't addressed to your daughter and she opened it.

Sounds like a boundary issue to me. But, like you mentioned, drinking over it won't improve the situation.

LaFemme

I'm glad you didn't drink over this. How old is your daughter ...I forget. Yes there is a stigma with addiction that is one of the reasons people don't get help...don't let it stop you.

Hugs.

CarolD

That happens to be the book that convinced me to finally
quit......tho I did have to actually read it.
Your copy has more power that mine did....

Not everything in 'Under" applied to me but it certainly
was an eye openir

Not one of us planned to be an alcoholic...or have other diseases
but there is a way out of the destruction alcohol brings.

All my best to you and your daughter...

LexieCat

Once you're done with reading it, I suggest you give it to your daughter to read. Way before I became alcoholic, myself, I found it very helpful in understanding the alcoholics in my life.

jch116

Anna,

I hid that book too; and a few others. I felt ashamed to have a need to be reading this. I can honestly say I don't feel this way anymore. Those books, this site and sober friends have helped me enormously. Crisplover, good for you for not drinking and finding a healthier way to deal with your anger and frustration. Sometimes just knowing that feeling will pass is all you need to get through it. And it's great to wake up sober, healthy and full of energy! I hope everyone has a great weekend!

aasharon90

My drinking wasn't a secret for very long
after my family pulled an intervention on
me, sending me to rehab where I spent
28 days picking up the tools and knowledge
of my addiction.

Sure I was extremely angry and resentful
for them getting me the help I so desperately
needed at that time in my life for they saw
first hand the destruction alcohol was doing
to me.

Today Im no longer angry or resentful but
rather extremely grateful for the life that was
restored to me.

My little 2 children were very young when
I entered recovery, so me not drinking any
longer wasnt a secret. In fact I used my alcoholism
and recovery as a blessing to my little family, esp.
my 2 little ones.

I was able to share my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what it was like before during and
after alcoholic with them in order to guide them in
the right direction as they began to grow up and
be exposed to all that is available out there in the
world and school.

Where else can children learn first hand about the
dangers of what lies ahead of them when it comes
to addictions then right there in their own home with
parents as their teachers.

My tools and knowledge was layed right before them
to see and hear first hand. In doing so they grew up
with healthy choices they could make reguarding how
they wanted to live their lives.

Mine did listen and did use that knowledge to their own
benifits and made it thru all the temptations and peer
pressures in school going on to finish college and living
happy prospurous lives with no addictions.

I am grateful and blessed with my recovery program
and to all those whom it has touched.

SSIL75

I would talk to her about boundaries but not make a big deal out of it. She's been through enough lately. She's probably lost.

Veritas1

Normally I "hide" my recovery books.

One day I had company, and forgot that I left my large print, big! AA book on the coffee table...

Oh well...

Nothing was said, but I know the person saw it.

I was so mad as well. Mad at myself for my "secret" getting out.

Fear set in. What will the person think!

It's ok.

You are working on bettering yourself. This is a good thing.

Dee74

Hey CL

I'd probably have been mad too, and I don't want to dismiss you're being upset, but there's bigger things to attend to here than your daughter opening your mail....I really hope you start to read the book....

I'm glad you stayed sober
D

SomethingBetter

When I first decided to stop drinking many years ago before all of the relapses I only would tell my drinking buddies, it was always the same, they said "just don't tell your wife you quit she'll hold you to it" or something in that manor.

Anyway I think it's good for my wife and kids to know, and slowly a lot more are finding out whether I want it to happen or not, I got that same book just laying around the house now, and I have a few apps on my iPhone and iPad that are always found by people playing with those devices.

My lifestyle is slowly changing and being sober is a huge part of that, the only real reason I didn't want anyone to know I had a problem in the past is because after I go back to drinking I felt ashamed and the more my problem is out in the open.

Truth is for me, the more it's out in the open the easier it is to face...

Your not alone,

LovesToTravel

Now that you have the book enjoy it. I just looked at the ones I read and that isn't one of them...guess I should get it.

Eddiebuckle

My alcoholic mother insisted that we keep her secret when she went to rehab after an intervention. She relapsed very quickly thereafter. IMO secrets are an inherent part of active addiction and while I do not share my status with every person whose path I cross, I try to stay conscious of the negative tendency towards secrecy. My first meetings in my hometown made me nervous: "people might see me going to this building and think that I'm an alcoholic." Ultimately I came to the conclusion that "people" don't particularly care whether I am an alcoholic or not, and wth - I am one, so I need to get over and used to it.

crisplover

I guess that I have relapsed so many times, I don't want to announce it to the world...yet again!

I wanted to get 2 weeks done before I started saying stuff.

Anyway at least last night was a tea drinking night. Going to really try and make today one too. I really do know what 'one day at a time' means now.

Love and thanks to everyone

Dee74

enjoy your tea today C.
Have a happy and sober Sunday, mate

D