My Higher Power
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
My Higher Power
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing well. I posted this in another forum but wanted to list it as a topic to get some other peoples take on their HP if they don't mind sharing.
The truth is, I've never really posted anything regarding this topic. As I started writing this, it helped me a lot. I thought by others writing what their HP is it might help them and also help out anyone who thinks having a HP is not for them. I know when I was just getting sober I never thought that God or a higher power was something I'd ever believe in and frankly I didn't see how it would help... Here is my 105 days sober version of my HP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is just my experience, but here goes...
Having an HP in my life helps me get out of myself. It helps me understand that I really don't control anything in this world. I do control myself, but certainly not other people, places, and things. What it really gives me is a sense of hope. Hope is not something I had when coming into sobriety.
Here are some possible HP's (by the way this list is endless, but here are some that come to mind). 1. The spirit of the Universe. 2. GOD (Good Orderly Direction). 3. GOD (Group Of Drunks - AA) 4. Your sponsor's HP 5. Whatever it was that gave us AA 6. Whatever is responsible for saving so many drunks throughout the world... etc......................
You see my HP is not tied to any religion. My HP is so beyond my comprehension that I don't even need to waste time explaining or figuring out what he / she / it is. I don't get boggled down in explaining the unexplainable (meaning of life, how human beings came to life, what came first the chicken or the egg) etc... Religion seems to shape GOD as one that is all knowing, but also one that is very well understood. There are rules, stories, examples, a group of people he used to talk to that wrote a book through him to explain things they had no way to prove or disprove.
For me, that is where I always got hung up. Take the bible. The stories of Noah's Arc, Johna the whale, tower of babble, Adam and Eve, how God created the world in 6 days then took one day off for rest, etc... None of those worked for me. They still don't. That is not a resentment at Religion, it's just an honest appraisal on how religion never did it for me.
My sponsor sums it up very well. Religion answers the questions of what happens to you after you die, a spiritual condition answers the questions of how we live before we die. "I can't prove it to you, but it's been proven to me".
To be honest, I don't really know what my HP is. And I like it that way. Think of how the universe came to be. Think of how big space is. There are more stars in our solar system then grains of sand on the entire plant Earth. Now think there are literally billions of solar systems in addition to ours. It take light 8 minutes to get from the Sun to the Earth. It takes light millions of years to get from one end of our solar system to other. Now, think about this, there ARE BILLIONS OF SOLAR SYSTEMS IN OUR GALAXY!!!! My mind can not comprehend the size of that. So, why does my mind have to comprehend exactly what my HP is. Make sense???
Bottom line, since I've started praying daily my life has gotten better. I say things like "Your will not mine". "Don't let me get me into anything that you can't get me out of". "Thy will be done". All of those prayers are basically acknowleging that I am a very very very very small part of this world. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. So, I will let go and let my HP lead the way.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to faith. Faith that I can be one of the millions of people that AA has helped get and stay sober. They all tell me that this is the most important piece of the program. I will simply take direction and trust that they are right. So far, I like what I'm seeing... Ultimately in my best interest to believe that there does exist a power greater than me that will help me. All I have to do is seek it and it will be revealed to me.
Don't know if this helps but it helped me. I've never really written my concept of my HP and I want to thank you for posting this topic. Best of luck to you!
__________________
The truth is, I've never really posted anything regarding this topic. As I started writing this, it helped me a lot. I thought by others writing what their HP is it might help them and also help out anyone who thinks having a HP is not for them. I know when I was just getting sober I never thought that God or a higher power was something I'd ever believe in and frankly I didn't see how it would help... Here is my 105 days sober version of my HP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is just my experience, but here goes...
Having an HP in my life helps me get out of myself. It helps me understand that I really don't control anything in this world. I do control myself, but certainly not other people, places, and things. What it really gives me is a sense of hope. Hope is not something I had when coming into sobriety.
Here are some possible HP's (by the way this list is endless, but here are some that come to mind). 1. The spirit of the Universe. 2. GOD (Good Orderly Direction). 3. GOD (Group Of Drunks - AA) 4. Your sponsor's HP 5. Whatever it was that gave us AA 6. Whatever is responsible for saving so many drunks throughout the world... etc......................
You see my HP is not tied to any religion. My HP is so beyond my comprehension that I don't even need to waste time explaining or figuring out what he / she / it is. I don't get boggled down in explaining the unexplainable (meaning of life, how human beings came to life, what came first the chicken or the egg) etc... Religion seems to shape GOD as one that is all knowing, but also one that is very well understood. There are rules, stories, examples, a group of people he used to talk to that wrote a book through him to explain things they had no way to prove or disprove.
For me, that is where I always got hung up. Take the bible. The stories of Noah's Arc, Johna the whale, tower of babble, Adam and Eve, how God created the world in 6 days then took one day off for rest, etc... None of those worked for me. They still don't. That is not a resentment at Religion, it's just an honest appraisal on how religion never did it for me.
My sponsor sums it up very well. Religion answers the questions of what happens to you after you die, a spiritual condition answers the questions of how we live before we die. "I can't prove it to you, but it's been proven to me".
To be honest, I don't really know what my HP is. And I like it that way. Think of how the universe came to be. Think of how big space is. There are more stars in our solar system then grains of sand on the entire plant Earth. Now think there are literally billions of solar systems in addition to ours. It take light 8 minutes to get from the Sun to the Earth. It takes light millions of years to get from one end of our solar system to other. Now, think about this, there ARE BILLIONS OF SOLAR SYSTEMS IN OUR GALAXY!!!! My mind can not comprehend the size of that. So, why does my mind have to comprehend exactly what my HP is. Make sense???
Bottom line, since I've started praying daily my life has gotten better. I say things like "Your will not mine". "Don't let me get me into anything that you can't get me out of". "Thy will be done". All of those prayers are basically acknowleging that I am a very very very very small part of this world. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. So, I will let go and let my HP lead the way.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to faith. Faith that I can be one of the millions of people that AA has helped get and stay sober. They all tell me that this is the most important piece of the program. I will simply take direction and trust that they are right. So far, I like what I'm seeing... Ultimately in my best interest to believe that there does exist a power greater than me that will help me. All I have to do is seek it and it will be revealed to me.
Don't know if this helps but it helped me. I've never really written my concept of my HP and I want to thank you for posting this topic. Best of luck to you!
__________________
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 267
My HP is God the Father, the Son(Jesus), and The Holy Spirit. I am Catholic. I grew up away from my faith because what I knew about God was that He was always mad at me when I did something wrong, but never noticed when I did something right! I learned this from my mother(who was a very sweet woman besides this!) who would tell me to "Say a good Act of Contrition!" a lot, which meant, apologize to God for what you've done. I began yearning for something greater than myself in my teenage years, but I couldn't think of God other than as an angry God. Like I heard somewhere recently, that God just looks for people having fun so he can put an end to it! lol I saw God as if He was "my mother's God". That He was always on her side and what she thought, He thought. I wanted none of that! (I am still coming to realize how wrong that assumption was!) The hunger for something greater than myself still grew within me, and as i came of age i began to delve into different religions to determine which God was the real God and what I should believe. After i had searched for a while and came up empty-handed with none of my questions answered, I plopped myself on my bed and said, "I give up!" What happened next was a spiritual experience that has formed the rest of my life up to and including now. I suddenly felt the presence of Jesus beside me. (Don't ask how I knew it was Him, I just knew somehow.) His presence, so full of love and so pure made me painfully aware of my very lost and sinful self. I suddenly felt so unclean in His presence and jumped right in the shower, wanting to clean off all the dirt and grime that had accumulated on my soul over the years. Shortly after that experience I went to Confession and came back to the Church and my life from that moment on has been a wonderful gift and getting better as each year passes! That's my story! God bless you all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 19
My god is an underachiever. I get what you are saying about the higher power taking you out of yourself. I've been stuck in myself for several years now, every since I came to believe that god could not or would not free me from my addictions.
I used to be catholic, even went to seminary for a couple of years. I smoked pot the first night there and I was in the pub downing beers every night. Three years into it my conscience got the best of me and i told them about my problem. They were like GTFO!
After that I tried AA. I went to lots of meetings but never found a sponsor or stayed sober for more than a few days at a time. I used to hate AA meetings, but I've had this reoccurring fantasy from the beginning that some day I will be sober and do something important with my life, so I kept going back because that's what I thought God wanted.
I admitted that I was powerless, and I had always believed in God, I prayed that third part so many times, but it never seemed to take. Finally in 2007 I came to believe that God could not or would not save me, so I stopped going to meetings and I stopped going to church. I decided to stop hoping for a miracle and just get on with life.
My God is an underachiever. He hasn't published anything in almost two thousand years, and he said he was going to come back but he didn't. I don't know that god even knows about me, and I'm quite uncertain that he cares whether or not I drink and get high. If God will allow priests to molest children and tsunamis to wipe out whole towns, then why expect him to step in and help some random dude in Ohio get sober?
It's a big universe and I am very small and insignificant. How pretentious to assume the highest power knows, cares, and is willing to help me?
Now I sick, and I'm getting old. The habit is taking a heavy tole on my health, and its taking up most all my time. I don't get out of bed til noon or later most days, and I'm usually drinking by 5 or six. There is a new medical urgency to stop drinking and smoking, but the irony is that I'm still powerless, and I know that God is not going to help me. I wake up in the morning and say "I'll not drink today", but I almost always do.
I've been thinking about AA again, but If i go back i need to find a different higher power, because my God is an underachiever.
The phrase is not mine. Heard a famous atheist say it in a talk, and googling for the quote i found this Youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ9UMCiPLFg
It's heavy art, but I think the song is pro-God.
The video has helped me believe in God again, but I'm not expecting a miracle anymore.
I used to be catholic, even went to seminary for a couple of years. I smoked pot the first night there and I was in the pub downing beers every night. Three years into it my conscience got the best of me and i told them about my problem. They were like GTFO!
After that I tried AA. I went to lots of meetings but never found a sponsor or stayed sober for more than a few days at a time. I used to hate AA meetings, but I've had this reoccurring fantasy from the beginning that some day I will be sober and do something important with my life, so I kept going back because that's what I thought God wanted.
I admitted that I was powerless, and I had always believed in God, I prayed that third part so many times, but it never seemed to take. Finally in 2007 I came to believe that God could not or would not save me, so I stopped going to meetings and I stopped going to church. I decided to stop hoping for a miracle and just get on with life.
My God is an underachiever. He hasn't published anything in almost two thousand years, and he said he was going to come back but he didn't. I don't know that god even knows about me, and I'm quite uncertain that he cares whether or not I drink and get high. If God will allow priests to molest children and tsunamis to wipe out whole towns, then why expect him to step in and help some random dude in Ohio get sober?
It's a big universe and I am very small and insignificant. How pretentious to assume the highest power knows, cares, and is willing to help me?
Now I sick, and I'm getting old. The habit is taking a heavy tole on my health, and its taking up most all my time. I don't get out of bed til noon or later most days, and I'm usually drinking by 5 or six. There is a new medical urgency to stop drinking and smoking, but the irony is that I'm still powerless, and I know that God is not going to help me. I wake up in the morning and say "I'll not drink today", but I almost always do.
I've been thinking about AA again, but If i go back i need to find a different higher power, because my God is an underachiever.
The phrase is not mine. Heard a famous atheist say it in a talk, and googling for the quote i found this Youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ9UMCiPLFg
It's heavy art, but I think the song is pro-God.
The video has helped me believe in God again, but I'm not expecting a miracle anymore.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Hollywood, FL
Posts: 30
My Higher Power - 90 Days Sober - is not co-dependent.
For me - the drinking years were simply a crisis of faith. I am now 48 years old and sober.
I was never taught that God was an invisible man in the sky that doled out good or evil on a whim and killed kittens with volcanoes. I didn't get that.
I got that God is Love. I got that God gave us free will, to live our lives as we choose. I got that God will not interfere with us carrying out our lives. I got that it is "pleasing" to God that we live happy, healthy, prosperous lives.
In other words, I get faith.
Faith, for me, means that everything happens for a reason. That everything will work out (and it ALWAYS does). Finally, that we all have purpose and everything is a means to an end.
Not going to tell war stories. Suffice it to say that if God was all about Justice rather than Mercy, my happy ass wouldn't be here typing away at a message board.
After sobering up and finding my Faith again, I have come to understand some basic Facts of Life:
1. As far as I have been able to determine, all the negative emotions I feel, that get me into trouble, that cause turmoil for the ones I love are fear based.
2. Fear is incredibly self centered. It is all about I, me, mine. For example: I am angry because I think you harmed me. I am jealous because that man is mine. I am greedy because I want another one for me. Those protective instincts, I suppose.
3. Faith relieves fear. It is the only thing I know of that will. I tried with vodka, but it seems that there isn't enough vodka in the world to relieve my fear.
4. Love is the opposite of fear. The positive emotions that make me feel confident and happy are all based upon love, that I can tell.
5. Love is based upon others. For example: I love myself because I can be kind to others. I love my family and want the best for them. I love humanity, and will do my best to relieve suffering in any small way that I can.
I have faith that God doesn't WANT me to live like that (in fear, the drinking years) because because God is love. I have faith that God has given me the mental capacity to grasp the tools that other people have kindly offered me. I have faith that as I moved forward, and with practice, these tools will help me live a better life.
I also have faith that God won't bail me out of a drunken mess. I would have abused the gift of free will, and will deserve whatever consequences result from my actions.
Anyway, that is the spiritual piece of my program. Maybe a bit of psych as well. I do know that addiction is a disease that is physical, psychological and spiritual in nature - and that those three elements are intertwined and in no particular order.
That's pretty much how it and AA works for me. Step Three and fearlessly working Step Four - all in God's time.
For me - the drinking years were simply a crisis of faith. I am now 48 years old and sober.
I was never taught that God was an invisible man in the sky that doled out good or evil on a whim and killed kittens with volcanoes. I didn't get that.
I got that God is Love. I got that God gave us free will, to live our lives as we choose. I got that God will not interfere with us carrying out our lives. I got that it is "pleasing" to God that we live happy, healthy, prosperous lives.
In other words, I get faith.
Faith, for me, means that everything happens for a reason. That everything will work out (and it ALWAYS does). Finally, that we all have purpose and everything is a means to an end.
Not going to tell war stories. Suffice it to say that if God was all about Justice rather than Mercy, my happy ass wouldn't be here typing away at a message board.
After sobering up and finding my Faith again, I have come to understand some basic Facts of Life:
1. As far as I have been able to determine, all the negative emotions I feel, that get me into trouble, that cause turmoil for the ones I love are fear based.
2. Fear is incredibly self centered. It is all about I, me, mine. For example: I am angry because I think you harmed me. I am jealous because that man is mine. I am greedy because I want another one for me. Those protective instincts, I suppose.
3. Faith relieves fear. It is the only thing I know of that will. I tried with vodka, but it seems that there isn't enough vodka in the world to relieve my fear.
4. Love is the opposite of fear. The positive emotions that make me feel confident and happy are all based upon love, that I can tell.
5. Love is based upon others. For example: I love myself because I can be kind to others. I love my family and want the best for them. I love humanity, and will do my best to relieve suffering in any small way that I can.
I have faith that God doesn't WANT me to live like that (in fear, the drinking years) because because God is love. I have faith that God has given me the mental capacity to grasp the tools that other people have kindly offered me. I have faith that as I moved forward, and with practice, these tools will help me live a better life.
I also have faith that God won't bail me out of a drunken mess. I would have abused the gift of free will, and will deserve whatever consequences result from my actions.
Anyway, that is the spiritual piece of my program. Maybe a bit of psych as well. I do know that addiction is a disease that is physical, psychological and spiritual in nature - and that those three elements are intertwined and in no particular order.
That's pretty much how it and AA works for me. Step Three and fearlessly working Step Four - all in God's time.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 122
Thanks, reggiewayne for that excellent post.
I'm in the same boat in terms of religion. I envy people who can believe in a specific, defined God and are able to base their lives on the teachings of a religion but it doesn't work for me.
I feel that I need to let go of trying to understand or define my HP, which is hard for me because I am by nature a scientist and my instinct is to dissect, build models and test predictions. From the point of view of science, nothing is true, we just develop probabilities of truth. Approximations if you like.
But the great Prof S Hawkins acknowledges at the end of his book that even if we were to formulate a theory that explained every aspect of the behaviour of the universe, it still answers no questions about where it came from and certainly has no use in answering the question "Why". This is simply not what science is for.
For those of us trained by the scientific method to doubt, and to attempt to prove by disproving (which works very well for learning to develop technology - from discovering fire to flying to the moon), it requires a tough mental shift to let go and let God.
I'm nowhere near there yet, but at least I have a destination to aim for.
Paul
I'm in the same boat in terms of religion. I envy people who can believe in a specific, defined God and are able to base their lives on the teachings of a religion but it doesn't work for me.
I feel that I need to let go of trying to understand or define my HP, which is hard for me because I am by nature a scientist and my instinct is to dissect, build models and test predictions. From the point of view of science, nothing is true, we just develop probabilities of truth. Approximations if you like.
But the great Prof S Hawkins acknowledges at the end of his book that even if we were to formulate a theory that explained every aspect of the behaviour of the universe, it still answers no questions about where it came from and certainly has no use in answering the question "Why". This is simply not what science is for.
For those of us trained by the scientific method to doubt, and to attempt to prove by disproving (which works very well for learning to develop technology - from discovering fire to flying to the moon), it requires a tough mental shift to let go and let God.
I'm nowhere near there yet, but at least I have a destination to aim for.
Paul
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Originally Posted by reggiewayne 
What it really gives me is a sense of hope. Hope is not something I had when coming into sobriety.
__________________
__________________
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
At this moment im sober and clean.........many days, 1000s of them.
Im angry with someone...........and that someone is mostly God.
I feel he has allowed a 10,000000 tons of Pain to inter my Body over a period of at least 60years.......why..........dont know.
I never hurt anyone deliberately,never stole only for Drink.
All I know is ,I dont deserve it.
The pain is so bad at times I cant think or remember things.
Who is punishing me.........because I could not possibly inflict as much Pain on myself,. if I Stuck 100 arrows in myself each day for the last 50 years.
So I need to forgive someone soon............Mabie its Myself,.........Im an Obsessive Perfectionist.........connected to Childhood.
I have what other Men desire, Talents,Wife,Family,House,Work,car,Can get around,.,.........So what the F$$k is up with me that I cant get Freedom from pain or peace of mind.
I................... dont want sympathy........................ I need a miracle to get out of this rut.
Im still under the Flames..........
for reading this.
Im angry with someone...........and that someone is mostly God.
I feel he has allowed a 10,000000 tons of Pain to inter my Body over a period of at least 60years.......why..........dont know.
I never hurt anyone deliberately,never stole only for Drink.
All I know is ,I dont deserve it.
The pain is so bad at times I cant think or remember things.
Who is punishing me.........because I could not possibly inflict as much Pain on myself,. if I Stuck 100 arrows in myself each day for the last 50 years.
So I need to forgive someone soon............Mabie its Myself,.........Im an Obsessive Perfectionist.........connected to Childhood.
I have what other Men desire, Talents,Wife,Family,House,Work,car,Can get around,.,.........So what the F$$k is up with me that I cant get Freedom from pain or peace of mind.
I................... dont want sympathy........................ I need a miracle to get out of this rut.
Im still under the Flames..........
for reading this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 102
What a thought provoking post reggie. If I might be indulged to toss out an opinion of which you are free to do with what you will. god, religion and higher powers are man made constructs not the other way around. The human brain while wishing to believe other wise knows it and that is why the stories from the bible don't resonate as truthful to you. The fact that we as a species can't explain things..comprehend as you stated..does not give automatic credence to magical powers at work. There was a time we thought the earth was flat. lol
I am not here to convince you to abandon what you feel you have gained by the way of newfound hope. Quite the opposite in fact. I urge you to acknowledge this as an attribute you posses alone..no unexplainable deity provided it for you.
I hope this did not offend you in any way. Just my 2 cents.
I am not here to convince you to abandon what you feel you have gained by the way of newfound hope. Quite the opposite in fact. I urge you to acknowledge this as an attribute you posses alone..no unexplainable deity provided it for you.
I hope this did not offend you in any way. Just my 2 cents.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Micealc...if I could be so bold as to suggest you start your own thread, others might give you some words of advice (your post is kind of hidden in here).
I believe it's possible to make our own miracles, fwiw.
Welcome to SR, too.
I believe it's possible to make our own miracles, fwiw.
Welcome to SR, too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
