Accepting my mom has turned to heroin....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Accepting my mom has turned to heroin....
This has been a hell of a 12 months for my family! Life has never been easy growing up with parents who were methadone users but we made it work, until about a year ago!
Very long story short:
After 30 years of marriage my parents are splitting up! My father decided to leave the marriage and my sister had a baby with down syndrome all in about a month timeframe. My parents were both recovering heroin addicts and used methadone to cope. My mom stopped going to her clinic and has been acting very strange since he announced they would not be reconciling. My dad finally found some evidence that proves what we have known all along but were trying to ignore.... Mom is using again......
This was discovered yesterday.
How do i react and what do i say? Do we do an intervention?
Sorry is this is all over the place!
Very long story short:
After 30 years of marriage my parents are splitting up! My father decided to leave the marriage and my sister had a baby with down syndrome all in about a month timeframe. My parents were both recovering heroin addicts and used methadone to cope. My mom stopped going to her clinic and has been acting very strange since he announced they would not be reconciling. My dad finally found some evidence that proves what we have known all along but were trying to ignore.... Mom is using again......
This was discovered yesterday.
How do i react and what do i say? Do we do an intervention?
Sorry is this is all over the place!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
jj
Welcome to SR......I'm glad you found us but so very sorry for the reason that brings you here.
I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with addiction with your parents and now are dealing with them splitting up. I'm sure it is difficult to deal with.
Tell us a little more about yourself and how you have dealt with these issues thus far in your life. Have you found support through Naranon or ACOA? How is your relationship with both of your parents?
One of the things that we as codependents often want to do is solve the problems of others. It's difficult for us to realize that we don't have to.....it's ok to let them solve their own problems.
Breathe. You don't have to do anything right now. Take some time and get some perspective and take care of you. With all that is going on around you right now, it would be easy to forget to take care of yourself.
gentle hugs
ke
Welcome to SR......I'm glad you found us but so very sorry for the reason that brings you here.
I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with addiction with your parents and now are dealing with them splitting up. I'm sure it is difficult to deal with.
Tell us a little more about yourself and how you have dealt with these issues thus far in your life. Have you found support through Naranon or ACOA? How is your relationship with both of your parents?
One of the things that we as codependents often want to do is solve the problems of others. It's difficult for us to realize that we don't have to.....it's ok to let them solve their own problems.
Breathe. You don't have to do anything right now. Take some time and get some perspective and take care of you. With all that is going on around you right now, it would be easy to forget to take care of yourself.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I'm so sorry..it does seem sometimes we get in a s#*t spiral where everything hits at once and it gets overwhelming..I am with Kindeyes..plz go to naranon or alanon and find some support.If your Dad is working a program, then he can help you understand just how little control you actually have over someone else's using..
The meetings can really help you get some clarity and peace..my daughter is a recovering heroin addict and I understand the complete terror that you are feeling..it's as serious as it gets..I had to let her go and feel the consequences of her addiction..thankfully she has chosen recovery (for now) but it is very very scary.
The meetings can really help you get some clarity and peace..my daughter is a recovering heroin addict and I understand the complete terror that you are feeling..it's as serious as it gets..I had to let her go and feel the consequences of her addiction..thankfully she has chosen recovery (for now) but it is very very scary.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
This seems a lot for you to handle.
To be honest it seems that the one person who really needs and deserves help is your sister.
Are you close to her? Could you perhaps spend lots of time with her taking that beautiful baby out for walks, playing and singing and enjoying time spent together rather than worrying about your mother?
Maybe you need to let the dust settle and see how things lie rather than trying to sort everything and everyone out.
If they have used methadone, they know the drill.
I think it's also quite selfish of them when there is this new baby that needs a lot of love and care and time devoted, rather than time being devoted to the ongoing saga of their addiction.
You look after yourself, your sister and the baby and keep you three safe - and leave them too it for a while. They are adults at the end of the day.
Take lots of care
xx
To be honest it seems that the one person who really needs and deserves help is your sister.
Are you close to her? Could you perhaps spend lots of time with her taking that beautiful baby out for walks, playing and singing and enjoying time spent together rather than worrying about your mother?
Maybe you need to let the dust settle and see how things lie rather than trying to sort everything and everyone out.
If they have used methadone, they know the drill.
I think it's also quite selfish of them when there is this new baby that needs a lot of love and care and time devoted, rather than time being devoted to the ongoing saga of their addiction.
You look after yourself, your sister and the baby and keep you three safe - and leave them too it for a while. They are adults at the end of the day.
Take lots of care
xx
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