Trying to change my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 2
Trying to change my life
I'm a 32 year old married father of one. I've struggled with alcohol since 2004. I have had bad bouts of binging and long stretches of sobriety, but it seems that I always end up falling off the wagon.
WHen I fall off, I fall hard. I'm in one of those times now.
I hate this. I hate myself for this. Not only do I drink, but the alcohol stimulates my appetite heavily and I binge on food. I'm a good 50 pounds overweight and that is almost as depressing as the drinking.
THe thing is, the booze only makes me feel good for a little while. An hour, maybe. And then I start feeling bad, physically and mentally. I'm ruined after that.
Exericse and eating right, no alcohol, makes me feel better. I feel refreshed and ready to change my life. But after a few days, I'll start getting a nagging feeling to drink. I KNOW it's going to make me feel terrible about an hour after I take the first drink, but it's like I can't control myself. It doesn't matter that I'm going to feel bad.
I drank last night. Not too much. I was actually able to stop myself from getting drunk. So I feel kinda good about that. I know it's pathetic, but I gotta start somewhere.
So this morning I went looking for help. My wife knows about my problems, but she doesn't know the extent. We had a big argument about this in January. She is supportive, but scared. I've fallen off the wagon a lot of times and I don't want to tell her again. I promised I wouldn't drink anymore and I failed.
I want to stop. I don't want to die of heart disease like my father (also a drinker). I don't want to be a liar to my wife. I don't want to hide and feel ashamed or risk my daughter finding out how weak her father is.
I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy.
I want to be the man God wants me to be.
WHen I fall off, I fall hard. I'm in one of those times now.
I hate this. I hate myself for this. Not only do I drink, but the alcohol stimulates my appetite heavily and I binge on food. I'm a good 50 pounds overweight and that is almost as depressing as the drinking.
THe thing is, the booze only makes me feel good for a little while. An hour, maybe. And then I start feeling bad, physically and mentally. I'm ruined after that.
Exericse and eating right, no alcohol, makes me feel better. I feel refreshed and ready to change my life. But after a few days, I'll start getting a nagging feeling to drink. I KNOW it's going to make me feel terrible about an hour after I take the first drink, but it's like I can't control myself. It doesn't matter that I'm going to feel bad.
I drank last night. Not too much. I was actually able to stop myself from getting drunk. So I feel kinda good about that. I know it's pathetic, but I gotta start somewhere.
So this morning I went looking for help. My wife knows about my problems, but she doesn't know the extent. We had a big argument about this in January. She is supportive, but scared. I've fallen off the wagon a lot of times and I don't want to tell her again. I promised I wouldn't drink anymore and I failed.
I want to stop. I don't want to die of heart disease like my father (also a drinker). I don't want to be a liar to my wife. I don't want to hide and feel ashamed or risk my daughter finding out how weak her father is.
I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy.
I want to be the man God wants me to be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Lacour and welcome to SR!
I tried for 5-6 years to change my life on my own...finally I got help...I have been using a Life Coach for the past 8 months and have made huge positive strides in my life. For the first time since the drinking got out of control I feel hope. I have 8 months sober.
the Life Coach and the work I do with her, combined with SR has made all the difference
Edit: Not only am I happy and sober and productive...I am also training for a Marathon, getting healthier all the time. 8 months ago I also was 50 lbs overweight...still have a ways to go but I am in the right direction
I tried for 5-6 years to change my life on my own...finally I got help...I have been using a Life Coach for the past 8 months and have made huge positive strides in my life. For the first time since the drinking got out of control I feel hope. I have 8 months sober.
the Life Coach and the work I do with her, combined with SR has made all the difference
Edit: Not only am I happy and sober and productive...I am also training for a Marathon, getting healthier all the time. 8 months ago I also was 50 lbs overweight...still have a ways to go but I am in the right direction
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 267
Hi! Welcome to Sober Recovery! 
Have you thought about A.A.? It may be just what you need! Here are the first 3 steps of the 12! I wish you the very best and i'm keeping you in my prayers!
1.) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Have you thought about A.A.? It may be just what you need! Here are the first 3 steps of the 12! I wish you the very best and i'm keeping you in my prayers!1.) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
If you want to be the man that God wants you to be, then ask him for help in getting there. I struggled against the alcohol for well over a decade. Just like you, I knew it would only make me feel better for a short time, then I would feel worse. But it was like I couldn't control myself; I just kept drinking, even when I really didn't want to.
Then I realized that this problem was something I couldn't tackle on my own. AA taught me to believe that a power greater than myself could help beat the alcohol, and I came to know that power as God. Once I got out of his way (like Mark75 said) and started asking him to help me live according to his will and not my own, life started getting better and better and better. It was my will and decisions that led me to drink, but it's God's will that I keep away from the booze and try to better myself and my life.
God wants to help us all. He can't wait to do it. But we need to come to him with an open heart and mind and ask for his help. Once that happens, and when you truly mean it, God will work wonders in your life like you haven't even imagined.
Thanks for being here, Lacour, and I hope you hang around a while. Please have a happy, safe, alcohol-free weekend!
Then I realized that this problem was something I couldn't tackle on my own. AA taught me to believe that a power greater than myself could help beat the alcohol, and I came to know that power as God. Once I got out of his way (like Mark75 said) and started asking him to help me live according to his will and not my own, life started getting better and better and better. It was my will and decisions that led me to drink, but it's God's will that I keep away from the booze and try to better myself and my life.
God wants to help us all. He can't wait to do it. But we need to come to him with an open heart and mind and ask for his help. Once that happens, and when you truly mean it, God will work wonders in your life like you haven't even imagined.
Thanks for being here, Lacour, and I hope you hang around a while. Please have a happy, safe, alcohol-free weekend!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community...
Many of us have and are changeing our lives into a
healthy prductive sober future.
I do use God and AA but there are other ways
.to win over alcohol....
All my best to you your wife and daughter
Many of us have and are changeing our lives into a
healthy prductive sober future.
I do use God and AA but there are other ways
.to win over alcohol....
All my best to you your wife and daughter
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Lacour-
Wanna know how to change your life?
Change you.
I had to change who I was or the same me will drink again and again and again.
Maybe this is true with you too?
AA has a set of steps designed to do just this (and more).
Kjell~
Wanna know how to change your life?
Change you.
I had to change who I was or the same me will drink again and again and again.
Maybe this is true with you too?
AA has a set of steps designed to do just this (and more).
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 92
Welcome Lacour! So glad you found SR. I quit drinking and smoking on 1/1/11. I can totally relate to how you feel. I would have the best intentions of quitting but then I would blow it. Like you, I would indulge in food after I was drunk. I loved the greasiest, most fattening food.... Did not work well on my figure. I gained about 30 lbs in 2 years. So not only did I feel empty inside because of the excess drinking but I didn't recognize the unhealthy person staring back at me in the mirror.
I had enough. Through the support of my family and SR I am coming up on 90 days sober. It is a GREAT feeling! I exercise daily and my diet is very nutricious. I've lost 1/2 of my 'booze' weight.
I am telling you this because I felt so down on myself on 12/31/10. I knew that I would either go into a major depression and just keep doing these horrible things to myself or I could take action. I chose the latter.
Wasn't easy ...sometimes still isn't. But thus far, I am proud of the type of person I am.
Take care of yourself. You CAN do this. Read and post on SR often. Pray. Surround yourself with positive SOBER people.
Wishing you the best.
I had enough. Through the support of my family and SR I am coming up on 90 days sober. It is a GREAT feeling! I exercise daily and my diet is very nutricious. I've lost 1/2 of my 'booze' weight.
I am telling you this because I felt so down on myself on 12/31/10. I knew that I would either go into a major depression and just keep doing these horrible things to myself or I could take action. I chose the latter.
Wasn't easy ...sometimes still isn't. But thus far, I am proud of the type of person I am.
Take care of yourself. You CAN do this. Read and post on SR often. Pray. Surround yourself with positive SOBER people.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your responses. They mean a lot. Thanks for taking the time to encourage a stranger.
As for Mark's question, I will stop drinking. It's usually some kind of rock bottom event that will do it for me.
I've never been pulled over or gotten a DUI or anything like that. I'll have a really hard moment of clarity and be able to stop. But it's hard this time. It's been more than six months of drinking almost daily, hiding it from my wife.
I didn't drink tonight. I did exercise, made dinner and picked up and gave my daughter a bath. I don't have the urge to drink right now. I'm praying to God to help me stay strong. I want this moment of clarity to last forever. The longest I've gone without drinking since 2004 has probably been a year. But that was back in 07. I want this stretch to last for good.
As for Mark's question, I will stop drinking. It's usually some kind of rock bottom event that will do it for me.
I've never been pulled over or gotten a DUI or anything like that. I'll have a really hard moment of clarity and be able to stop. But it's hard this time. It's been more than six months of drinking almost daily, hiding it from my wife.
I didn't drink tonight. I did exercise, made dinner and picked up and gave my daughter a bath. I don't have the urge to drink right now. I'm praying to God to help me stay strong. I want this moment of clarity to last forever. The longest I've gone without drinking since 2004 has probably been a year. But that was back in 07. I want this stretch to last for good.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us.
You have made a good decision to not drink today. I wonder if you have talked to your dr about detoxing from alcohol because it can be dangerous. I think that stopping drinking is the first step of recovery. I think it's likely that you'll have to make some changes in your life in order to recover. Know that you can be the person you want to be!
I'm glad you found us.
You have made a good decision to not drink today. I wonder if you have talked to your dr about detoxing from alcohol because it can be dangerous. I think that stopping drinking is the first step of recovery. I think it's likely that you'll have to make some changes in your life in order to recover. Know that you can be the person you want to be!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
Posts: 222
Welcome Lacour! and congrats on finding this great place. And further congrats on not drinking tonight.
I can tell by your tone that you are in the sick of being sick stage and this could be your moment of clarity to stop for good. You mention how good you feel when you get healthy with food and exercise but fall down after a few days.
This place is great for the "after a few days" and for the venting on how you are feeling so you can at the very least have someone to talk to about it all.
You know what it feels like to stay sober for a year. So fight for this again and remove yourself from this like you would remove your hand from a burning flame.
Also I would also wager that if you have been drinking every day for the last six months that your wife does indeed know about it.
I can tell by your tone that you are in the sick of being sick stage and this could be your moment of clarity to stop for good. You mention how good you feel when you get healthy with food and exercise but fall down after a few days.
This place is great for the "after a few days" and for the venting on how you are feeling so you can at the very least have someone to talk to about it all.
You know what it feels like to stay sober for a year. So fight for this again and remove yourself from this like you would remove your hand from a burning flame.
Also I would also wager that if you have been drinking every day for the last six months that your wife does indeed know about it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: dayton, oh
Posts: 487
Welcome
This is a great place to hang out. Your body is going to physically crave alcohol so I would suggest a medical detox to help you succeed. SMART is great for CBT and there are people attending for alcohol and eating issues. I refer to it as free group therapy, not a support group. There is usually a licensed professional in charge.
SH
This is a great place to hang out. Your body is going to physically crave alcohol so I would suggest a medical detox to help you succeed. SMART is great for CBT and there are people attending for alcohol and eating issues. I refer to it as free group therapy, not a support group. There is usually a licensed professional in charge.
SH
I quit for good over a year ago and my life is so much better now.
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