reggiewayne

Hey everyone. So the past two weeks I've been interviewing for a really good job opportunity. I've interviewed with 5 different people and it's been pretty tiresome. My problems are getting better since being sober but I have not really felt a part of recovery in the past few. I have not gone to a meeting since Saturday and I'm really feeling it. I have not drank, can't say that I really feel like it either, BUT I do feel disconnected from my recovery.

My conclusion is without my program of recovery I feel the void that used to exist that booze then needed to fill. It's occurred to me how fragile my "saneness" really is. It's so obvious to me why I used to feel the need to drink.

Tomorrow I am going to my workshop and I think it will help but I feel like you do when you recovery from the flu and you haven't eaten well in a few days. One meal just won't do it. I think until I can get 3 or 4 days of continuous meetings and recovery under my belt I'll be off.

It's comforting to know what I need, but it's also a little concerning that my sobriety is so fragile. Can anyone else relate to this?

I should be very happy that the new opportunity might be there (one that will support my recovery much more than my current job). The truth is I feel disconnected and I DON'T LIKE THIS...

I'll hang in there....

artsoul

I definitely feel out of the loop when I'm unable to spend my usual time (and hour or more per day) on SR. Even at 10 months, I still feel more content when I'm here reading/sharing about recovery. I've had ups and downs in life, but this place anchors me. So yeah, I understand!

It sounds like you're under a lot of stress lately (good stress, but still.....). It's easy to get lost in the "outer" issues of our lives and forget to nuture the inside. And I think everyone (not just alcholics) experienced that.....

I think you're doing great - hope you can get to a meeting soon. (Even with all the support in the world, we do have our funkier days......) Hang in there and when all else fails, gratitude.......:ghug3

GodsHolyWill

Hi! I'm too brand new in my sobriety to understand how you feel, but I just wanted to say that I am wishing you the very best with this new job opportunity and your recovery!!!

Dah

I'm only at 52 days myself so I certainly am not trying to act like a recovery guru or any sort of authority on the subject, but my layman's opinion reading your post is that its commendable (and I would have to think a VERY GOOD THING) that you understand yourself so well.

I would think the fact that you can identify the "void" so quickly, and understand what you would need says a whole lot more about how you are on the right track to understanding yourself and growing than it does about your own fragility.

I would say the guy in your position who fails to realize just how fragile he is is the the truly fragile one and the one more likely to relapse.

Sort of "Only a fool knows everything. A wise man knows how little he knows" analogy I guess.

Just my $.02. Best of luck in your continued recovery!

MsCooterBrown

RW...just here to offer my support and wish you luck on this new job opportunity! I have a feeling you are gonna NAIL IT! 5 interviews is a good sign..Keep us posted.
I will begin my 6th month of sobriety at the end of this month..(I still wanna count if from August...MAN WHY DID I GO TO THAT STUPID DRUNKEN BIRTHDAY PARTY IN THE BEGINNING OF OCTOBER!!!) but October is my official never looking back date. Long story short...I enjoy my time in SR. I don't think I will ever tire of reading posts...I get something out of all of them. I would get fidgety if I couldn't log on for whatever reason.. Good luck to you Mister!!

Inafishbowl

I get it. One day I feel so strong and another I feel VERY fragile. We are fragile right now. It's a good sign you see it. Notice you have a bunch of HALTs going on? Good luck with the job. I'm rooting for you on both counts.

reggiewayne

Thanks guys and gals... You all are a great support group! Going to bed sober. I remember there was a day when just that was miracle. I love the idea of the gratitude list. Funny how I've suggested that to so many, but I forget so fast when it comes to me. It really is the little things that keep us sober one day at a time!!!

LaFemme

Good luck with your job opportunity!

When I had 3 months I had to go 2 weeks without my coaqching sessions once...I felt like I was going nuts despite sr. I am doing 2 weeks session free right now and I feel much more solid this time bujt now that I think on it I've been on sr much more these 2 weeks than I have been

Keep us posted on the job and come post in the gratitude section some time

bevin

I'm no sobriety guru either, but I have noticed that there's a definite impulse to fill the void now that I've stopped. The goal is to fill that void with the healthy stuff you wanted when you decided to get sober in the first place, right? Into the unknown!