Inafishbowl

This is my first time making a conscience decision to quit drinking. I keep telling myself that if I eff this up, it is going to be even harder the second time around. I am a binge drinker and I am terrified that I would be the one who doesn't wake up after a relapse. My relapse fears are huge and they're irrational, as if I'm going to wake up with someone pouring a bottle of wine down my throat, LOL.

So my question is did anybody ever quit the first time and never go back? How long have you been sober? Any other thoughts?

Ghostly

This is a common concern. There are plenty of people that haven't relapsed. A common thing I read here when someone relapses is that they finnaly thought they could drink normal, and just have a couple. They couldn't. You can't. Keep working on sobriety. You can do this.

Dee74

Well I tried to quit for a length of time before, or I tried to moderate and/or control my drinking on a weekly basis for years.

This is the first time tho I accepted what I was and why I can't drink, and this is the first time I've actively worked to stay sober rather than hoping, wishing and kinda trying.

I'm nearly 4 years and counting.

I don't believe relapses just happen - they never did with me...I made conscious decions to drink or conscious decisions not to stop myself....

keep the work up and keep vigilant about your alcoholism - reach out if in trouble....and you have nothing to fear but fear itself IAFB

D

Pete55

3 weeks after coming to AA, 2-3 meetings a day, I had to go back out and check on the "jekyl and hyde" thing. And sure enough, "it" is there for sure. This time I knew why that change in personality is almost instant, I "saw" it, and no longer wanted to "entertain" it. J&H is still there, but while I am sober, it is "chained up". I know though, as soon as I add alcohol, those chains will melt and out it will come to devour me, no power, nothing to stop it, nothing till the bottle runs dry or I am out of money, get locked up, kicked in the head, and in no specific order!
I slipped twice since then, but nearly 3 years have not picked up. Each time I picked up after knowing of AA and the 1st step I got in trouble. However, the J&H thing, never sleeps, always waiting, very patient to try and get me to drink, very cunning indeed, I have no choice, I go straight to my HP as I understand so, and safe for me, ( and others for that matter) for another day.
The obsession has been removed.

Inafishbowl

I'm taking these experiences very seriously and to heart. I never would be happy in someone's relapses. But I'm banking the stories to help keep me sober and strengthen my resolve. Thank you.

Sugah

I joke that my first AA meeting was in November, 1987 and that I promptly got sober October, 2002. I was treated for alcoholism against my will (on psychiatric commitment/hospitalization) several times and was exposed to meetings in that way. In 1988, I made a show of going to a few meetings because my partner was going to throw me out.

The truth is that I had no intention of staying sober until October, 2002, and any other outward gesture was a way of trying to manage consequences. In other words, I did what I had to--and only as long as I had to--so that others would get off my back. The term "relapse" implies (in my understanding) that some sort of recovery has been attempted or attained. I really don't consider any return to drinking prior to my sobriety date as a relapse.

So, since I quit (rather than "paused"), I have not had a relapse.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

LexieCat

I haven't had a slip since my last drink and first AA meeting two and a half years ago.

My first husband toyed with the idea of quitting and went to a couple of meetings before he decided to get sober and stay that way, and he has been sober since that decision thirty-one years ago. My sponsor just celebrated 24 years, and she was the same way.

Statistics are pretty meaningless. I believe if you put in the work, you will get the result. Some people aren't quite "done" drinking when they first come in. I did all the experimenting with moderation that I cared to do before I made the decision to quit, but once I decided, that was it. I don't want to take the chance on a relapse, so I do whatever I can to make sure I'm on the right path at all times.

LaFemme

I wanted to get sober for about 5 years and during that time I might get a couple days sober but this is the first time I have actually worked at it. I thought that just stopping was enough and then I would be magically transported to the land of happy unicorns and butterflies ...but staying sober requires an investment untimely and energy...the positive is that it pays off 100 fold. It also does get easier.

So I have 8 solid months with no relapse. I intend not to relapse.

jamdls

This is the first time I ever accepted that I had a problem and needed to quit and have been sober w/o relapse since August 2007. I had thought about quitting in 2003/4 and even went to 2 AA meetings, but I quickly decided that I wasn't "as bad as those people" and really just needed to moderate. There have been at least 2 times in the past 3.5 yrs that I've seriously thought "I could just drink moderately" but I've had the strength to not drink and both of those times have reinforced my desire to never drink again.

leo21

I quit for the first time on 9-1-10 and used a program with meetings and this site for support. I was doing really great with no thoughts of drinking running through my mind. However, it took one very stressful and suprising event to where all the ingredients for a relapse was there. It was just before thanksgiving so I had over 100 days sobriety. At that point, sitting there alone in my car all upset I pondered the idea. I don't know where it came from (maybe that alcoholic mind talking), but I caved and bought that first beer and had a couple. From there it was a slippery slope of trying to moderate and moderate and......moderate.

I stopped again and on day #7. So - my message is this - you have to stay alert and vigilant. Be prepared cause I was like you and sometimes the thought of relapse scared the crap outta me. But nonetheless I caved in with no regards. Total insanity it is.

Murray4x5

Yup.

So far, so good - with 8.5 months and counting

OOPS! Daughter just woke up...I'll explain later.

Murray

SSIL75

Like Dee, this is my first time really accepting that I can't drink again. It's only been 6 mos but I feel very solid. The last times I kind of felt like I HAD to quit (fear) but it felt like a sacrifice. This time it felt (and still feels) like a win.

Danae

I only have 4 months, so take this with a grain of salt.

I did a lot of half-hearted quitting and moderating. This time is totally different and I know I can't ever drink again. I'm finding it easier because it is absolute. I do have occasional flashes of worrying that I'll somehow go berserk and start chugging something, but so far those have been fear, not reality. All the reading I've done has helped a lot.

I also found that SR was extremely helpful. For a reasonably bright and well-educated person i knew NOTHING about alcohol and alcoholism!!! Reading the stickies on "how we quit" and all the daily posts has made me very aware of the many possible pitfalls in my path. It has also helped to be part of a lively community thinking and working on this. As you said SSIL, now it feels like a win.

Thanks everyone!

riptide

This is my first time so far so good 22 days no cravings don't whant to drink I don't think I will relaps but I will not put my gard down

Inafishbowl

Darn! I've really been looking forward to the unicorn.

EmeraldRose

I don't think anyone wants to admit to themselves or to others that they can't drink in moderation. Only the alcoholic will struggle will this thought -that is how I knew it was serious.
I've 'stopped' many times but did not make a conscious effort to quit until January 28th of this year. It's been a long drunken life of ups and downs, headaches from both the alcohol and from the miseries that the alcohol creates with loved ones and just within yourself.
I think that living with the thought of how to live life sober is easier than the thought of how not to remain drinking. I try to eliminate thoughts and words like drinking, drunk, hangover, moderation, binge...all these negative words.
I try to live on words such as life, love, beginnings, control, happiness.

FT

My husband and I quit alcohol together in 1990. I kept a bottle of cold duck in the fridge for a year, "just in case." I never drank it, and I still don't know where that bottle ended up. We had severe cravings for three years and had to "talk ourselves down" every day so we wouldn't drink. We never did, still don't.

Watch out for other substances, though. I got hooked up by oxycodone with two orthopedic surgeries back to back and ended up with a 2 year addiction that I am only 3 months clean from. As of today, 3 months. Such a drop in the bucket when you consider the 20+ years off ETOH.

Some call my oxycodone addiction a relapse from ETOH. I still consider my ETOH clean years to be intact, even though on day 3 of my oxycodone withdrawal I swallowed a mouthful of mouthwash because it had ETOH in it. It just made me sicker, but I wonder what would have happened if it had made me feel better. I shudder to think.

I still have dreams where I am drinking wine, my former DOC. And in my dreams it seems normal. I can't tell you how happy I am when I wake up and realize it wasn't true. I truly feel free of alcohol. Now I want to feel free of oxycodone, too. I will do it. I can tell when something is working, and this recovery is doing that.

Onewithwings

My sponsor has 4 years on her first white chip.

Creekryder

Very important point you made SSIL75, I had not thought of it that way. "Sacrifice" sets a negative tone while "winning" has a positive feel. Well worth pondering.

loveon2legs

I didn't take getting sober seriously until 14 months ago...since then I haven't picked up a drink... I had tried previoulsy to "moderate" and switch beverages, but I was only kidding myself...Being in recovery you really have to want it, and to surrender your old ways of thinking,and behaving..and reacting to things....I never understood that before..it's so much more than just not picking up...

All the best to you!!