Anaya

My husband is having a hard time letting go of our adult child, who continues to use. It's not easy for either of us (parents), but I feel I've made some progress in my own recovery.

We talked, and I asked him to think about going to a NarAnon meeting but really don't know if he'll take that step.

Suggestions are welcome.

CameToBelieve

Perhaps he could begin by visiting online sites such as this one, or reading blogs written by other parents dealing with addiction. There are many good blogs that offer a wealth of information. I might also suggest getting some of the literature produced by various 12 step programs. The daily readers are great and might give him support which would later make it more comfortable for him to attend a meeting. My husband was a little reluctant at first, but after several meetings he found support in the rooms which have been a lifesaver for both of us. At first I think we despair because we feel all alone. Finding that connection with others who are in our shoes and tell our stories is a gift.

"Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance."

mooselips

Anaya,
It is hard to let go, and I guess some of us do that at our own speed.
I think you're on the right track, giving him info, and hopefully he will attend meetings.


IMO, sometimes I think, if we let go, we're also giving away some of our hope, but I still have a lot of hope.

Hugs from one mom to another........

Anaya

Thanks to you both for the support and ideas - very much appreciated! Best wishes, also, for positive developments in your lives.

I try to let the guys work things out for themselves but see both are struggling much, and when each talks to me, I try to be supportive. I think I will get my husband to check out this site and look into literature, too.

It's never easy, is it, lol?

Sorry for the less than explanatory/not well organized posts - I'm just so tired lately and the ol' brain is not up to par.

I am happy I found this site and to get to chat with good folks like you all.

keepinon

When he gets in enough pain, he will reach out.We all come to recovery in our own time/I had to really be on my knees to accept the program..good for you for working on your own recovery!

Kindeyes

Anaya
There are so many good books out there. Perhaps your husband could start by reading a little bit. Melody Beattie is an author who is often recommended around here. She has a wonderful daily reader called "The Language of Letting Go". Perhaps it would be a nice gift from someone who loves him.
gentle hugs

Anaya

Thanks, keepinon and Kindeyes! Your support and suggestions are helpful.

Honestly, I do waver between enabling/not enabling and guess that is to be expected.

Kindeyes

We all waffle around sometimes until we get better at recognizing the difference between suppporting our loved one in their recovery or enabling their disease. It's a path and we all do it in our own way and in our own time.

Progress not perfection.

gentle hugs
ke