leadhead

After reading the post from the young lady in the U.K., I see that it's like it is over in the U.S. In a recent court hearing, I pleaded for a reduction in my monthly Child Support payments. The ex makes over 3 times what I make in a year, lives comfortably in a rancher her realtor sister rents out to her, takes vacations, etc. and that's just fine. I haven't been so lucky. I have ongoing issues that I'm being teated for by a Mental Health Dr. and have been for 5-6 years, ADHD, Major Depression and Anxiety disorder, OCD, and PTSD. On top of that, I'm trying to recover from 3 years of toxic mold exposure which has nearly ruined me. I filed for partial disability and was denied, I have no insurance, my eyes are bad, my teeth are all falling out (11 since last March), memory loss and brain fog, weakness, trembling, labored breathing, it's gosh-awful trying to just exist. I'm homeless with no vehicle and staying with a friend, yet at the last court appearance, even though I presented the DA and judge with a letter from my Dr. stating the seriousness of the mental issues made worse by the mold, I was given no quarter. They treated me as though I was just full of s---! The judge gave me a $50.00 reduction per month bringing the payments to $350.00 a month. Last 3 months, I've made a total of about $7oo.oo, as I am working about 8-10 hrs. a week. I was denied Food Stamps even. With this kind of justice, is it a wonder people "self-medicate", drink alcohol, do just about anything to relieve just a little of the overwhelming feelings that not only the Mental Disorders cause, but the kind of justice like I received? I am only one of many in this same boat. We are becoming alcoholics and drug addicts because of this kind of justice. I would like to know if anyone else out there is sharing in similar problems. JB

Stimmed

Hi Leadhead.

I was homless myself for around 6yrs (my own doing tho) so i know what thats like, here at least.

How did you come by Toxic Mold Exposure? Not that i heard of it, but is there any chance of compensation to you, have you looked into it fully?

Zencat

I have mental illness and used to self-medicate with alcohol/drugs. Doing so seemed like the best I could do under the circumstances. At the time I wasn't fully aware or really cared how much more harm I was causing myself.

I eventually entered a CA state funded (free of charge) alcohol/drug recovery program. Wile in the program I was able to see psychiatrist and get a diagnosis along with medication paid by the CA state MediCal program. That helped me get into the state mental health system which in turn helped me to get SSDI benefits.

leadhead

Hi Stimmed, as far as the mold goes, about 3 years ago I moved into a lady-friend's condo as a live-in caretaker for her totally disabled 25 year old son while she had 3 surgeries and was bed-ridden much of the time. I slept downstairs on the sofa-bed in front of the main air duct. After a short time I began having all kinds of symptoms, waking up every hour or so with my heart racing, my teeth began to hurt, breathing got harder, brain fog, nausea, weight loss, it was freaky. The lady and son were having similar problems so a licensed mold inspector came out and found 3-4 types of nasty mold, 2 were considered toxic. It was between the walls where the toilet and sink had been slowly leaking for a long time. The Landlord knew of the leaks beforehand but did not want to spend any money to fix them. It is under litigation right now. Zencat, I live in Piedmont N.C. where everything is at least 10 years behind CA, as far as help programs. I'm still trying to work as much as able but it's hard because of all the symptoms sucking in that poison air put on us. It will just take time. jb

Stevie1

Seems that there must be some legal/corrective actions your friend (and you) can take and a chat with an attorney might not be out of the question...but that is not relevant to your question, I guess. Except I would make sure both you and her save every shred of documentation. No matter how tangential. Just in case.

I do think that blaming external forces for drugging and drinking is a cop-out, though. And will not improve anything, costs money you don't have, will cause more problems in the long run, certainly won't help with your health issues! It is VERY common for people to "self medicate" for mental/emotional issues or because life sucks. You are certainly not alone there...many, if not most, people on SR have done that.

What can you do to get control of your life?

sleepie

Mold is a problem in my city as well. I don't think you are asking permission to drink and drug, leadhead- but yes, stress of all kinds can contribute to one's desire to "tune out" via intoxicants. It will ultimately make things harder, though. Yes, you have a very harsh and unfair reality to deal with. But you are going to have to be at your best to beat it and drinking/ drugging will complicate that. Please take care and let us know how things go. The world is full of unfair circumstances and I'm sorry some have befallen you. But we are here and hoping things improve for you.

Stimmed

I suggest you go down the correct legal channels if you can, 'and see it through'.

Stevie1 tho i think, has given good advice.
Their last line i think is where you're progress almost certainly will start.

gl :-)

leadhead

Thank you all.Sleepie, your post really was stellar and I appreciate those words you wrote. Stevie1, one way to get control is to stop drinking, as most of ya'll suggested. Today is Day 13 with NO alcohol. Thanks everyone! leadhead

Stevie1

Congratulations, lead!!

Stimmed

Just keep doing what your doing Lead... nice1!

Manz

Hi Lead,
I spent a long time self medicating, and without a shadow of doubt... not one thing in my life improved or got better.... totally the opposite. I have depression and have had some severe anxiety, but now, at 60 days sober... all of that is getting so much easier. Life in general is much more... DOable. The alcohol only made it sooo much worse.

So glad to hear you are on day 13, that is awesome. Keep it up, its hard, but so worth it!

artsoul

Excellent on the 13 days, lead! You're well on your way!

I can relate to "self-medicating" too....... depression, OCD, ADD......at the end though, alcohol just added more issues to the list (anxiety, guilt, etc.) It's no way to live. Keep up the good work!

CarolD

To find area resources....and to continue your sobriety
I suggest you hook into your local AA....

Talk to people before and after meetings
about your situation.
others have gone thru all sorts of problems they understand.

hope this helps...glad you shared again...

japabp2000

Hello, I'm new here but wanted to chime in. My husband is a recovering alcoholic (thank God and thanks to Campral as well), and is a hopefully soon to be recovering addict. His drug of choice is hydrocodone. Anyway, he did not start this until his step father passed away suddenly in 2006. He (my husband) also lost his biological father at age 8. He has dealt with anger issues (outbursts) and was what I would call a "bully" in school. He also has always done things on impulse, even before the drinking and drugs. I certainly think that he has some type of mental illness, and I do know he is self medicating because he says that if not he stays depressed. Anyway, he has tried rehab...he quit..3 times. Lots more to add but don't want to bore anyone..lol Without insurance and/or money, he has not been "properly" diagnosed I feel. His counselor that he sees doesn't seem to really even know what to do for him really. Best of luck to you!! Also, a HUGE Congrat's on day 13 of being sober. Hang in there!

leadhead

When I read your post, it took me back a few years when I was in a similar situation. I had been with the PTSD and ADHD most all my life and was never able to communicate with my ex, who would seperate from me at the drop of a hat. We won't go into her issues, she's in denial she has any, but what happened to me, saved me. She "threw me out" again, this time because I didn't take a job she wanted me to, so I moved into a house with a pal that was close by (the main reason I went through this so often was for fear of not getting to see my 2 girls). As it were, the "pal" left, owing me for 6 mos.of free living, I was forced out, could not pay everything owed and before I knew it, I was a homeless man. It was at this time I got pretty sick from a bug or flu and went to the ER. When they found out I was homeless, everything got payed for and I was put in a mental hospital to help treat my mental issues that had been there so long and was sponsored by a group of sorts that do good things for folks. I'm not saying kick your hubby out, but there are places that will "sponsor" folks that can't pay, you just have to find them and go the red-tape route, but I guess your hubby is worth it. Thanks to everyone for their encouragement as I am on Day 20, alcohol FREE!!! leadhead