Jil

My friend just told me that, a few weeks ago while extremely intoxicated, I got into a huge fight with another friend. So much that she had to hold me down. I freaked out and left the apartment we were at. Apparently, it took her half an hour to find me in the freezing cold, and when she saw me I was about to get into a vehicle with some random guys. If she hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened to me.

It's times like this that I am so scared for my safety. I feel in a really sad mood and slightly depressed currently.

dbearw

You don't have to be scared for your safety if you can stay sober. I haven't "met" you yet? Are you working a program?

ReadyAndAble

Wow, that does sound scary. I'm glad you're OK. And that you have friends who look out for you. Maybe you can focus on that and feel grateful instead of sad? Also, maybe it helps to know that it only happened because you were drinking. Something like that doesn't have to happen ever again...

Snarf

Jil, I used to often find myself in situations that could have ended very badly. Many times I was rescued from these scary ordeals by friends, and other times I guess God was just looking out for me. But I tell you this: I haven't found myself in a single one of those situations since I stopped drinking. It just so happens that my putting away the alcohol directly coincided with my making better decisions, decisions that don't lead me into hot water.

Thanks for joining us, and as has already been stated, you don't ever have to have another experience like that again. Really, you don't.

LaFemme

Hi Jil And welcome to SR.

I also had super scary things happen when drunk...I shouldn't be here today. But I am and I'm sober and I never have to worry about that again as long as I stay that way.

I'm glad you are alright.

littlefish

extremely intoxicated: check
I got into a huge fight: check
with another friend: check
I freaked out: check
I was about to get into a vehicle with some random guys: check
I feel in a really sad mood and slightly depressed currently: check

All that sounds so familiar to me, I am sure lots of others here have experienced the same. You are with friends here, we have been through that stuff too.
Keep coming back, there are some great suggestions here for getting sober and staying sober.

eddie73

Part of recovery results in less or no guilt at all, no depression or at least manageable sadness. You will get there. It is great, the trick is to stay there non mater what.

Inafishbowl

Jil, it was my first blackout that got me here. Being told by family and friends what I did still has me completely rattled. I have no memory and the rage in me was out of control as if I were possessed by the devil.I think it's good to be scared. I recently met a woman who almost committed suicide in a blackout. Stay sober with me.I'm very new too. I feel your pain.

Anna

There's no chance that we risk all kinds of accidents and incidents when we are drunk.

I blacked out sometimes during the last months of my drinking, and after all these years, I still shiver when I think of that.

You don't have to go through this again.

Snarf

Wow, I wish I had recognized the warning signs when I had my first blackout! As it ended up, I was blacking out a good 3 or more times a week. Many of those times were in my home, so at least I wasn't out in public, but there were those occasions when people informed me of my actions the prior evening. And usually it wasn't good.

Now I remember everything I do. And I'm the guy telling other folks about the ridiculous things they did the night before.

NEOMARXIST

Hi there. I used to blackout pretty much everytime I drank and used to accept it as being part of the madness of getting wasted. Over time however the blackouts certainly got more anxiety producing and made me really paranoid and this is another reason why I would drink alone. They would also last a lot longer too, whereas in the past they would just be an hour or two before passing out. Reading your story makes me remember the horrible feelings as people fill you in on your behaviour.

Like Snarf says then since I've got sober over 20 months ago I haven't had one blackout and I suffer from zero memory loss. For me then drinking would always end in a blackout and that's another reason why drinking would be so, so costly for me. I could never say I wouldn't drink drive again or any other manner of stuff as I know that in a blackout I will be possessed and only aware of where I am when I come out of it. Certainly my blackouts became much scarier as my alcoholism progressed and they certainly become much darker and also my drinking progressed to where I'd gulp every drink in one so I would be in blackout after only a few hours. I used to use stimulants to stop me from blacking out.

All The Best, Peace