theatredork

Hello, I joined this site yesterday and am now at 3 days sober (yay). I am not someone who was drunk all day every day, but consistently drank a bottle or two of wine most days. Especially on the weekends. For months at a time, then quit for a while, etc. Been going on and off for maybe 8 years. Anyway, I went to a therapist to address some depression issues and they wanted to address the substance abuse first. I recognize that I have a problem, but I'm still having difficulty identifying myself as an alcoholic, since I've had not sooo many repercussions, and the worst ones were a few years ago. Although "a whole lot of wasted time and avoiding people" does seem like a repercussion too, which is what happens when I drink a lot lately!

Anyway, the therapist said that AA is imperative to my continued sobriety. Which at first I thought was bull, honestly, but after a few days of thinking about it I'm willing to give it a shot. So over the past week or so I looked at the local site where they list meetings and tried to find a good one. Sunday I was going to go to one at a church very close to my house, but chickened out. Then I decided Monday would be good, right after work, a meeting held at the same building in which I go to therapy. I drove there, walked in, found a sign directing me to the room, dug my way through the building to the room and saw a closed door with no one around. So I went to the bathroom (I was like 10 minutes early), got a drink of water, walked back in that direction, didn't see anyone heading in that direction (didn't go to the actual door of the actual room)... and left. And cried in my car.

I have an appointment with the therapist today, and I feel ashamed that I didn't make it to a meeting. I'm planning on starting intensive outpatient therapy next week, and I'm having a hard time understanding that I'll need to go to a few meetings a week in addition to this three day a week program! BUT then I think - if I was involved in a play (as I often am, as evidenced by my screen name), I would think nothing of spending three hours four or five days a week on THAT.... so my health is probably worth as much as or more than a stupid hobby. Anyone have good tips on finding a good meeting? I am (surprise surprise) often anxious in social situation so it is verrrrry difficult for me to call people.

So thank you for reading, thank you to everyone for posting - it really helps me to read the stories. I'm sure I'll make it to AA - I'm planning on talking about it with my therapist today. She's a little tough - but maybe I need that. It sure is different than just being in therapy for depression, which I've done before.

LexieCat

I'd try calling the local AA Intergroup hotline number. Some Intergroups are better than others at keeping the meeting lists up to date. Most groups are very stable and meet at the same place for years and years, but one of my home groups recently had to relocate due to the building being sold, so no doubt there were a few people looking for us at the old location before the word went out.

Just tell them you are new and want to find a meeting close to "x" that meets today.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

silly

That first meeting is tough so I understand your fears and anxiety. Lexie is right, most groups meet for years and years in the same location. So either yesterday's group has relocated or perhaps everyone shows up late? Trust me, it happens! Keep trying and someday soon you'll make it through those doors.

EmeraldRose

I was told last night that you can even do AA meetings on line thru the AA.org site? Anyone know about that?

Anna

I'm glad you are doing whatever you need to do to get sober.

theatredork

Thanks everyone. I'm sure I'll make it to a meeting. I am still at the very beginning, after all, at least at trying to really recover and not just being a "dry drunk." I'm sure just like any social group or other event there are certain "norms" - some things people tend to show up early, some things on time, some are just understood to start a little late. I'm doing the IOP, like I mentioned, so I'm sure I'll get some insight there. I think I was looking for an excuse not to go, and I probably would have found one no matter what. But I will get there.

I do like reading on this site, and I'll bet the chat meetings are helpful too - but I also recognize that I'm going to need some face time if I'm going to to stay consistent. But having people around, even virtually, does make me realize I'm not alone. Thanks.

LexieCat

There are online AA meetings, but they are IMO a poor substitute for being in a room full of other people all with a common solution. There is definite power in the rooms.

I rather doubt everyone "just showed up late"--most people tend to show up at meetings 10-20 minutes early to talk with their friends or with newcomers, and to stay 10-20 minutes after the meeting, for the same reason. Most likely, the meeting had moved or had become defunct but that fact was not noted on the meeting list. I also went to one meeting where the time was listed incorrectly.

Once, when I was traveling on the West Coast and wanted to go to a meeting, I went there and found no sign of it. I called the local Intergroup on the phone and the guy told me where it had moved to. I arrived only a few minutes late, and had a great meeting.

Chris2011

Good luck Theatre....hang in there. Let us know how the meeting goes.

Draciack

Hi Theatre - early on I used to drive to AA meetings, park and just sort of watch all the middle-aged / elderly men and women go into the meeting, then drive off without ever exiting the vehicle. So, you know, you're not alone there

As far as norms go, in my city I haven't really encountered any. No one has thrown me out for being late or got on me for jetting early or anything like that. In fact, most meetings, regardless of demographics, are very similar - sometimes hanging out before or after, but mostly a focus on that 1 hour of recovery and sharing.

It's odd though - good meetings have changed for me during sobriety. As in, early on I needed to hear a different message. But I only found this out by trying some different meetings and seeing which ones fit.

Best of luck to you

ChikkaB

Don't worry about any of that sort of stuff. You're not there to fit into a high school clique, you are there to find wisdom and support and to learn how to stay sober and recover your life.

"The only requirement in AA is a desire to stop drinking"

I think you will find, if you walk in with that desire, that you will experience a room full of warm, welcoming people who understand first-hand exactly what you are going through and are willing to help if that is what you want.

As has already been mentioned, if you're having problems walking through the door for the first time, call your local AA chapter and tell them you are new and ask if someone can meet you there.

Congrats on THREE FULL DAYS that is awesome! Keep building on that