clean living rather than 'being sober' or 'enjoying booze'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
clean living rather than 'being sober' or 'enjoying booze'
well i have been lying in bed thinking before sleep and having hit 2 months and been bumped seriously [though not slipped] i begun thinking.
ok so i get the message that being sober doesnt necessarily make everthing ok overnight, even after 2 months and that sometimes we may meet cruel awkward painful in the bum type people that may outwit and outsmart us so being sober doesnt necessarily give us the winning ticket in life.
so why bother?
the best i could come up with is clean living is the quickest way to reach your goals, dirty living (drink drugs etc) can be a HELL of a lot of fun (emphasis on hell) but is a risky gamble if you become addicted that hell fun will slowly eat up your soul your personality whatever.
ergo lets say billy boswell down the road is a raving alcie of a year, maybe before becoming one he was a real smart person, kind wise etc so he may be early on in his drinking days so you lets say an ex drinker of 16 years may have always been a lost person so even though your 2 months sober this guy a total lush can still outwit you which is frustating as hell for you.
i hope this makes sense to anyone
so i guess im going to carry on 'clean living' but i guess just because someone is 'living dirty' [drink drugs whatever] doesnt make them necessarily weak or stupid
love to hear anyone who can relate or wants to comment on this im 2 months sober but was 16years drunk so frustrating when i meet alcies that seem to have more going for them in some areas of their life than me [despite their active addictions]
kevbo
ok so i get the message that being sober doesnt necessarily make everthing ok overnight, even after 2 months and that sometimes we may meet cruel awkward painful in the bum type people that may outwit and outsmart us so being sober doesnt necessarily give us the winning ticket in life.
so why bother?
the best i could come up with is clean living is the quickest way to reach your goals, dirty living (drink drugs etc) can be a HELL of a lot of fun (emphasis on hell) but is a risky gamble if you become addicted that hell fun will slowly eat up your soul your personality whatever.
ergo lets say billy boswell down the road is a raving alcie of a year, maybe before becoming one he was a real smart person, kind wise etc so he may be early on in his drinking days so you lets say an ex drinker of 16 years may have always been a lost person so even though your 2 months sober this guy a total lush can still outwit you which is frustating as hell for you.
i hope this makes sense to anyone
so i guess im going to carry on 'clean living' but i guess just because someone is 'living dirty' [drink drugs whatever] doesnt make them necessarily weak or stupid
love to hear anyone who can relate or wants to comment on this im 2 months sober but was 16years drunk so frustrating when i meet alcies that seem to have more going for them in some areas of their life than me [despite their active addictions]
kevbo
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Kevbo,
There are some "normies" that are born with the gift of gab, people who seem to be able to talk circles around others, (I like to think of them as sales people, they can sell you on the idea that they are smart/rich/happy etc.) This is true of alcoholics/addicts as well. Some of us have a gift of making things seem better than they really are...or even seem to "outwit" us, even when using. This is usually to cover up the fact that we are, in reality miserable. If the person who is frustrating you is truly in the grips of alcoholism/addiction, trust me, you are the one who is on the brighter side of the fence.
Two months sober is AWESOME, it took me several tries to make it that far, but it is also very early in your sobriety. It took me quite a while for my brain to come out of the fog and see things clearly...trust me...you are NOT lost, you are here and so are we.
I agree with you that "clean living" is the way to go....but make no mistake, just because we are addicted, it doesn't mean we are weak or stupid, we are sick.
Most important..with two months sober..you have A LOT more going for you than you give yourself credit for...and this is only the beginning, you have your whole life ahead of you..hang in there...
Cathy
There are some "normies" that are born with the gift of gab, people who seem to be able to talk circles around others, (I like to think of them as sales people, they can sell you on the idea that they are smart/rich/happy etc.) This is true of alcoholics/addicts as well. Some of us have a gift of making things seem better than they really are...or even seem to "outwit" us, even when using. This is usually to cover up the fact that we are, in reality miserable. If the person who is frustrating you is truly in the grips of alcoholism/addiction, trust me, you are the one who is on the brighter side of the fence.
Two months sober is AWESOME, it took me several tries to make it that far, but it is also very early in your sobriety. It took me quite a while for my brain to come out of the fog and see things clearly...trust me...you are NOT lost, you are here and so are we.
I agree with you that "clean living" is the way to go....but make no mistake, just because we are addicted, it doesn't mean we are weak or stupid, we are sick.
Most important..with two months sober..you have A LOT more going for you than you give yourself credit for...and this is only the beginning, you have your whole life ahead of you..hang in there...
Cathy
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I'm not a stupid person, but it was stupid to drink beyond excess and allow it to take over my life to the point I was no longer functioning. The only function I managed was drinking and sleeping. In retrospect, that was pretty stupid. I did stupid things while under the influence, but I mange quite well now that I am sober.
Keep in mind that alcoholism is progressive. What may appear "okay" for Joe Blow down the road may not be so under the surface. It is only a matter of time until things begin to spiral.
Give it time. Things will get better. It takes time to get your wits about you. I drank for years. It took months to get my thinking back to full throttle. Some people aren't so lucky and suffer permanent damage.
Sobriety is the winning ticket as far as I can see. Without it, I will never achieve my goals or manage to function in life in the simplest manner.
Keep in mind that alcoholism is progressive. What may appear "okay" for Joe Blow down the road may not be so under the surface. It is only a matter of time until things begin to spiral.
Give it time. Things will get better. It takes time to get your wits about you. I drank for years. It took months to get my thinking back to full throttle. Some people aren't so lucky and suffer permanent damage.
Sobriety is the winning ticket as far as I can see. Without it, I will never achieve my goals or manage to function in life in the simplest manner.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Ok...I'll give this a go.
1. I embrace sobriety. That means sobriety by itself not dependent on what I get from it. In fact the only thing (aside from a healthier body) I get from it is an opportunity.
2. The opportunity is that sober I can do the work my life requires to get the most from my life. Comparing my life to anyone else's is fruitless because;
3. I have no idea what hell the alcie down the road is either going through or heading towards.
Congrats on 2. Months! That's awesome!
1. I embrace sobriety. That means sobriety by itself not dependent on what I get from it. In fact the only thing (aside from a healthier body) I get from it is an opportunity.
2. The opportunity is that sober I can do the work my life requires to get the most from my life. Comparing my life to anyone else's is fruitless because;
3. I have no idea what hell the alcie down the road is either going through or heading towards.
Congrats on 2. Months! That's awesome!
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
kevbo, if drinking was still working, I'd still be drinking. I was getting maybe an hour or two of peace before the crushing despair would creep back and thump me. I harbor no illusions about what I was doing. I was drinking my self to death. So I had a choice, get comfortable with being sober or see who is right the atheists or the theists. Getting comfortable forced me to look at everything in my life and everything in my head. I was a dishonest little twerp that felt like everyone had more information than me. The feeling like I walked into a movie 15 minutes late and lying was the only way not to get caught. Once I saw these traits in other users it was heartening, and I keep sifting through my mind and my behavior for the things that kept me drunk. Why bother? Because it is a chance to be at peace. At 5 months I am happier than I have been in decades. Not that I am yucking it up all the time, it is more subtle than that. Most days I am pleased just to be breathing in and out.
Two months sober was tricky for me. Do yourself a favor read up on PAWS, getting better is a long term thing.
Two months sober was tricky for me. Do yourself a favor read up on PAWS, getting better is a long term thing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Oh man...is this the alky neighbor that you are codependent with? I think it must be very hard for you to live next door to him. Sounds like you guys must have put in some drinking time together? I understand. I have a few close drinking buddies that I have had to distance myself from. This sobriety..it really is a whole new lifestyle change in order for it to work. It is hard for people to understand why I don't just stop in the bar but I have no desire to be around all the insanity again. It is very impressionable on my sober mind. I have done it..had to meet a guy passing thru and he picked the bar as a meeting place for several people. BUT I don't ever stay long. I feel bad for you. Stay strong!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
There is not one thing I can think of that is improved
by drinking and drugging...it may be an illusion for awhile
but down the road....you will self destruct.
Well done on your sober time...
by drinking and drugging...it may be an illusion for awhile
but down the road....you will self destruct.
Well done on your sober time...
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Heard from a sober lady today about a guy in her meetings who had put together 6 months, reassembled his life a bit with the family, house job et all, looked like he was getting better, but having 6 months he was sure he could now control his drinking and was doing so well so quickly he wasn't as alcoholic like these other people and could have a drinkie now and then, returning to a more normal life, the life he was intended to enjoy. So, he drank and was found dead yesterday having choked on his puke overnight. She said he was a pretty nice fellow and was well liked during the short time he was around.
She's just a few years so this kind of thing still shocks her. After a while it won't.
We always have the choice to trudge forward in sobriety or turn the other way.
She's just a few years so this kind of thing still shocks her. After a while it won't.
We always have the choice to trudge forward in sobriety or turn the other way.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
cabledude, thank you for that wakeup call.
Not only is alcohol eating up our soul and personality it won't be satisfied untill we are dead from it, and it will kill us in the end. Some people it takes quicker than others.
That is the ultimate 'bottom'.... death.
My own 'disease' has progressed so far that I'm acutely aware that the next drink I have could very well be the end of me.
Yet it is still a struggle.
LaFemme ...I would like you to know I have noted you saying to 'embrace sobriety' before ...and that concept has stuck with me for months...and got me through some rough spots before. I think about it every day actually. Thanks.
That's one of the most potent suggestions I have ever heard:
Embrace Sobriety
Not only is alcohol eating up our soul and personality it won't be satisfied untill we are dead from it, and it will kill us in the end. Some people it takes quicker than others.
That is the ultimate 'bottom'.... death.
My own 'disease' has progressed so far that I'm acutely aware that the next drink I have could very well be the end of me.
Yet it is still a struggle.
LaFemme ...I would like you to know I have noted you saying to 'embrace sobriety' before ...and that concept has stuck with me for months...and got me through some rough spots before. I think about it every day actually. Thanks.
That's one of the most potent suggestions I have ever heard:
Embrace Sobriety
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by LaFemme 
Ok...I'll give this a go.
1. I embrace sobriety. That means sobriety by itself not dependent on what I get from it. In fact the only thing (aside from a healthier body) I get from it is an opportunity.
2. The opportunity is that sober I can do the work my life requires to get the most from my life. Comparing my life to anyone else's is fruitless because;
3. I have no idea what hell the alcie down the road is either going through or heading towards.
Congrats on 2. Months! That's awesome!
1. I embrace sobriety. That means sobriety by itself not dependent on what I get from it. In fact the only thing (aside from a healthier body) I get from it is an opportunity.
2. The opportunity is that sober I can do the work my life requires to get the most from my life. Comparing my life to anyone else's is fruitless because;
3. I have no idea what hell the alcie down the road is either going through or heading towards.
Congrats on 2. Months! That's awesome!
I confess, I am a billy boswell.
Now I am disappointed I have spent 30 years drinking as an uderachiever, not reaching my true potential. Don't get me wrong, compared to the "general population" I think I would be considered a succesful high achiever. I took solace in the fact (comparing myself to other people) that I could do some things drunk, many couldn't sober.
LaFemme has it right. Compare yourself using, to yourself sober. Other people are other people, apples and oranges.
I wouldn't say comparing my life to others' was fruitless, in hindsight it was self-destructive.
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