TotoBidule

I'm on my second day completely alcohol-free (7th day sober, long story...), and deciding what to do about work is going to be a massive mountain for me to climb. I've been there for a little over 4 years, and after an initial big push to prove myself (9mths or so), things were pretty cushy for a couple of years. I was already abusing alcohol before starting the job and it just got worse and worse. At the end of 2009 there was a reorganisation and a new department was created (of me and one other to start with). I agreed to take the position, as there was a great carrot - you will become the department manager, and you will have two extra people "very shortly". My direct manager kept delaying and delaying - for some valid reasons, and other dubious ones. I had just left my wife (long time coming), and completely dedicated my life to work. Well, work and what was left went to alcohol. Problems got worse and worse elsewhere in the company (my department is there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong), and my hours and stress levels went through the roof. As did my reliance on alcohol to manage it. Still not a "manager". It had become ridiculous.

Then I learnt that friends (in another country) had started a small company, and they invited me to go and manage it. I accepted immediately, and told my boss (the owner) I was going to leave. Things were so bad I had to get out (didn't tell boss this). I had a month off over xmas, and after getting back officially put in my resignation (3mths notice!). Then they sprang an offer of a REALLY interesting position on me...

I had a lot of preparation and work (telework) to do for my new job, and one of the reasons I realised I was beyond all help with alcohol was that I just couldn't do ANYTHING except current job and then refuge in the bliss of alcohol.

So I have my resignation date looming, and a job waiting for me that my mates are impatient for me to start preparing for (translating degrees, etc. for the visa), but I am not well. I need to get well, and France has a pretty magnificent health system, with the levels of support I need to get better. The new country is also one of the most alcoholic, where massive abuse is rife...

So I have three choices - hope that in a few months I am well enough to handle the stress of a new job/career (no experience), country, language (which I speak but not for ages); stay and ask my boss to fire me so I get the unemployment benefit (which you don't get when you resign); or take the new job my current employer is offering. I am going to need to be completely honest with my boss. He is very compassionate with employees in times of great need but I am pretty sure that, like for so many, for him alcoholism is not a disease but being weak and lazy. Maybe that's not fair on him though...

So getting to the point! At the moment, I am thinking that choice 3 will be the best for my recovery. There are many things to do here in France that I really want to do. Running away would be running away from my problems instead of facing them head on. I've done it before, and I'm right back where I was last time... The problem is the amount of work needed to get productive with choice 3. The work will be fascinating but there will be LOTS of it and I will be stepping out of my comfort zone on a regular basis. This is a good thing (empowering myself) but I don't know when I'll be ready to do that. It will also only be possible IF my boss is onboard.

So what do you people think? I start counselling on Monday morning, and hopefully group sessions on Monday evening. I know that things will start to get clearer when I start getting face-to-face help, and I still have a few weeks before any definitive decisions have to be made... Have any of you faced major decisions like this very early on in your recovery process? How did you manage them?

Anyway, sorry (again) about the length of my posts...

Omega060610

TotoBidule, I am going through a similar thing although I think I only have two options -- 1) stay and try to tame my excesive workload or 2) take a sabbatical.

I don't want to project my own issues on to you, but I would pass the advice on that I got in my thread: You need to pick a path that enables you to work your recovery. That must be your first priority. I don't know you or your circumstances outside of this post, so I can't tell which of the 3 options that are compatible with recovery.

I moved to another country many years ago. Personally, I found the experience (and speaking a new language all day) to be exhausting for the first 6 months. I slept loads.

However, I would say that aside from staying in your current country, with all the support framework that implies, it doesn't sound like option 3 will be beneficial for your recovery. You are already worried about your workload and it sounds like option 3 has even more.

I have come to realize that I have 2 DOCs. The first was alcohol, but I have been free of that for 9 months. The other is work. It isn't a mind altering chemical, but I do use it to change how I feel and that is perhaps exactly why I work so hard. I am trying to make myself feel better by doing the only thing left to me (according to my experience). I am not doing the new things that could help me recover. Perhaps that is just me and you don't recognize yourself in that.

All the best in what you decide to do!