Going on day 14, need a lil pep talk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: East coast USA
Posts: 26
Going on day 14, need a lil pep talk
Well I made it to this day
which I never thought I would. I have been doing everything I am suppose to do. I have been taking vitamins and exercising etc. Yet now I am finding myself battling myself inside.....I found a pill that I had stashed prior to becoming clean, although I dont even remember hiding it. I was standing there actually arguing with myself the pros and cons of taking it. Thank god I came to my senses and flushed it. But I know find myself craving them ever since. I dont want to restart my destructive path, I keep telling myself. I told my husband that I found it and flushed it, and he was very proud of me, and he keeps telling me I am going to get better as eachday passes. Sometimes I see it, sometimes I dont. I just dont know anymore, I know deep down I am doing the right thing, but why is it so hard to feel it? Is it because it is still early in my recovery? I just hate the internal battle, I swear ts like in the movies, an angel on one shoulder whispering in your ear, and a devil on the other shoulder........
Just need a lil pep talk, I dont want to fail, this site really helps me....
Feeling helpless on the east coast
..............
which I never thought I would. I have been doing everything I am suppose to do. I have been taking vitamins and exercising etc. Yet now I am finding myself battling myself inside.....I found a pill that I had stashed prior to becoming clean, although I dont even remember hiding it. I was standing there actually arguing with myself the pros and cons of taking it. Thank god I came to my senses and flushed it. But I know find myself craving them ever since. I dont want to restart my destructive path, I keep telling myself. I told my husband that I found it and flushed it, and he was very proud of me, and he keeps telling me I am going to get better as eachday passes. Sometimes I see it, sometimes I dont. I just dont know anymore, I know deep down I am doing the right thing, but why is it so hard to feel it? Is it because it is still early in my recovery? I just hate the internal battle, I swear ts like in the movies, an angel on one shoulder whispering in your ear, and a devil on the other shoulder........Just need a lil pep talk, I dont want to fail, this site really helps me....
Feeling helpless on the east coast
..............
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi there,
As a fellow addict, I would say u need solidarity and to surround yourself with people who are actively exercising successful sobriety. Reading about sobriety is great to a point. Its hard to beat the flesh and blood of a room filled with fellow people in recovery. The solidarity and understanding there is unbeatable.
Hope you make it one day at a time for a very long time indeed.
As a fellow addict, I would say u need solidarity and to surround yourself with people who are actively exercising successful sobriety. Reading about sobriety is great to a point. Its hard to beat the flesh and blood of a room filled with fellow people in recovery. The solidarity and understanding there is unbeatable.
Hope you make it one day at a time for a very long time indeed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
Dear SF, Mornin ! Yes, you are still in the early part of this. It WILL get better. 
I found the two things that helped me the most were the ability to be completely honest with myself about my feelings (YES I did want a drink) but I chose not to. Also a BIG sense of humor about it all !! Being able too laugh at my own goofy a$$ behavior helped immensely. As I've often said two weeks impresses me far more than 20 years !!!!!!
It is an accomplishment worthy of your pride.
Best wishes,
Ron
I found the two things that helped me the most were the ability to be completely honest with myself about my feelings (YES I did want a drink) but I chose not to. Also a BIG sense of humor about it all !! Being able too laugh at my own goofy a$$ behavior helped immensely. As I've often said two weeks impresses me far more than 20 years !!!!!!It is an accomplishment worthy of your pride.
Best wishes,
Ron
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
Yes, right on schedule even. Totally normal & to be expected. Walk & talk yourself through it & as eddie & Ronf advised... laugh & surround yourself with people who are laughing & in recovery also. It gets better & better & congrats on the two weeks, that is awesome! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: East coast USA
Posts: 26
Well I am back, and unfortunately I did not succed
Well hello to all fellow supporters,
Unfortunarely, I did well for a few weeks, but I just couldnt stand tje lack of energy and depression, so I made an awful choice, I popped one pill which eventually lead to many more. So I am here alllll over again. The best thing that has changed is that I was gonest with my husband,.so that to me, is an accompliahment. This time I will try a taper, for I am taking alot now, and once I ger low enough I will go cold rurkey, but who knows, I may get sick of the taper ans find temptation is too hard, and artempt cold turkey again....I am bery happy to rerurn to the website, that I fou.d the greatest support and made it 2 weeks....this time I am aiming for forever...I am completely unhappy with the person I have become, even worse than before.....
I want to thank you all for your precious support montjs ago, I am hopeing for the same support again?
I feel terrible for being a failure, but I am dusting off and trying again....
Unfortunarely, I did well for a few weeks, but I just couldnt stand tje lack of energy and depression, so I made an awful choice, I popped one pill which eventually lead to many more. So I am here alllll over again. The best thing that has changed is that I was gonest with my husband,.so that to me, is an accompliahment. This time I will try a taper, for I am taking alot now, and once I ger low enough I will go cold rurkey, but who knows, I may get sick of the taper ans find temptation is too hard, and artempt cold turkey again....I am bery happy to rerurn to the website, that I fou.d the greatest support and made it 2 weeks....this time I am aiming for forever...I am completely unhappy with the person I have become, even worse than before.....
I want to thank you all for your precious support montjs ago, I am hopeing for the same support again?
I feel terrible for being a failure, but I am dusting off and trying again....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32
The definition of failure is " just not falling ". It is falling and then not trying to get up. So you have not failed, if you try to get up and succeed to get up.
Thomas Alva Edison failed 1000 times before inventing the electric bulb. Imagine, what if he gave up after 999th failure ?
Off course, we can not afford to fail 1000 times while trying for sobriety. Life is too short for that.
Whatever happens, just do not give up trying for it.
Newborn
Thomas Alva Edison failed 1000 times before inventing the electric bulb. Imagine, what if he gave up after 999th failure ?
Off course, we can not afford to fail 1000 times while trying for sobriety. Life is too short for that.
Whatever happens, just do not give up trying for it.
Newborn
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
You are not a failure...I have relapases in my history also...but you never have to go back out.
Don't take the first drink, think the drink thru to the consequences, continue seeking support and take it one day at a time. Glad you are here and posting.
Don't take the first drink, think the drink thru to the consequences, continue seeking support and take it one day at a time. Glad you are here and posting.
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