It has to be time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3
It has to be time!
Well it's been 5 years of drinking whenever my husband went out. I would love the nights he was out. Started drinking a few beers then was able to finish a 1.5lt bottle of wine. LOTS of bad things have happened to me (concussion, blackouts, work absence, loss of money, gambling when drinking and police visits bc of loud music in my apt). I guess i hit rock bottom the other night when i was cabbed home by a casino and couldnt remember anything!!!! (how/when got home or the $ lost) It wasnt until i saw my bank account in the morning, I realized OMG!!!!!!! I spent the next day sick from hangover, sick from worry, guilt and trying to remember what the hell happened. These feelings of regret and total shame are what i keep reminding myself of that I never want to feel again! It will be tough......but I am a tough person! Something that crosses my mind and explains my username was a quote in a book "Be on the side of angels, not the beasts!" This is not my opinion of alcoholics but of what I turn into when drunk.....The idea of choosing a side is helping me instead of thinking to or not to drink. Anyways have rambled enough.......
thanks for reading!
thanks for reading!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community...
One of the immediate benefits of my early recovery
was no more blackouts. Whew!
Have you considered checking witt your doctor about
how best to de tox safely? That's always a wise move.
Glad you are here with us...please keep posting
many of us are winning over alcohol..
Yes! you can too,
One of the immediate benefits of my early recovery
was no more blackouts. Whew!
Have you considered checking witt your doctor about
how best to de tox safely? That's always a wise move.
Glad you are here with us...please keep posting
many of us are winning over alcohol..
Yes! you can too,
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome, and thanks for joining us! This is a great site with many wonderful people who have tons of experience and support to share with you.
I think most of us know all too well those next-day feelings of regret, despair, shame, etc...all while dealing with a massive hangover.
I promise you this: I don't miss those days 1 bit. Not even a little.
You said you would keep reminding yourself of those feelings, and that's a good way to keep yourself from having a drink. But turn it into positive reinforcement: think about how great you can feel if you wake up the next day without those feelings. It really is a lot different.
Again, thanks for being here, and I hope you hang around for a while.
I think most of us know all too well those next-day feelings of regret, despair, shame, etc...all while dealing with a massive hangover.
I promise you this: I don't miss those days 1 bit. Not even a little.
You said you would keep reminding yourself of those feelings, and that's a good way to keep yourself from having a drink. But turn it into positive reinforcement: think about how great you can feel if you wake up the next day without those feelings. It really is a lot different.
Again, thanks for being here, and I hope you hang around for a while.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome angel - glad you're here! The combo of blackout and casino sounds like a nightmare - but glad you got home safely. And glad to see you know there's a better life out there for you.
I remember my low point too and try to keep it in mind when I'm tempted to think I'd like a drink. I don't ever want to feel like that again.
This is a great place to get support and everyone here really cares....... Hope to see ya around!:ghug3
I remember my low point too and try to keep it in mind when I'm tempted to think I'd like a drink. I don't ever want to feel like that again.
This is a great place to get support and everyone here really cares....... Hope to see ya around!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mt
Posts: 298
Welcome Angelorbeast. This is a first great place to land. I too loved to drink when my H was out or away. Then I could drink like I wanted 2, alcoholiclly, to stupors, blackouts, bar patrons giving me a ride home.Lost purses, infidelities, missed work, the list goes on. You will move beyond these horrible feelings of now: the realities of these things continues unless we stop ourselves or are stopped by our behavior. jail, DUI, health problems, etc.. Please understand the seriousness of this habit, addiction, disease, whatever u want to call it and know that you are so worth the effort to stop it. I wish you luck and hope to see you around here at SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome Angleorbeast. Man, what a terrible feeling that is when you know you've spent a lot of money but you don't really remember it. Then looking into your bank account and see $200 ATM withdrawls. I have been there sooo many times.
The good news is, you don't have to live that way anymore. I promise you, you don't. For me, it was really really really really accepting that I was an alcoholic. I can't drink a few, or socially. I can't sneak a drink here or there. I just can't do it. The reason it my body responds very poorly to alcohol. When we alcoholics drink, our bodies actually produce a physical craving that makes us want more.
When I was drinking, I never got all I wanted. I got more than I could handle, but never as much as I wanted.
This site is very helpful. Also, AA is the cornerstone of my recovery. I also listen to AA speakers online. Recovery is a plan of action. We get the idea that we're "quitting" drinking when we want to enter into recovery. The truth is we're not "quitting" anything. We're finally engaging in life again and a productive life doesn't include alcohol if you are alcoholic.
I wish you the best. Keep coming back!!!!
The good news is, you don't have to live that way anymore. I promise you, you don't. For me, it was really really really really accepting that I was an alcoholic. I can't drink a few, or socially. I can't sneak a drink here or there. I just can't do it. The reason it my body responds very poorly to alcohol. When we alcoholics drink, our bodies actually produce a physical craving that makes us want more.
When I was drinking, I never got all I wanted. I got more than I could handle, but never as much as I wanted.
This site is very helpful. Also, AA is the cornerstone of my recovery. I also listen to AA speakers online. Recovery is a plan of action. We get the idea that we're "quitting" drinking when we want to enter into recovery. The truth is we're not "quitting" anything. We're finally engaging in life again and a productive life doesn't include alcohol if you are alcoholic.
I wish you the best. Keep coming back!!!!
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