Tuffgirl

I've been mulling this one over for a few days now...trying to wrap my head around it. Why would there be Al-Anon jokes at AA meetings? Not within the meeting, but on the side bar conversations between a few members? Why would they feel so threatened/angry/whatever to make fun of Al-Anon? There has not been ONE 'joke' at any of my Al-Anon meetings about alcoholics and addictions. I can't imagine any of the people there would even consider this.

My RAH said it was not malicious. I found it very malicious. I told him not to tell me this stuff anymore. And that it was sad to me that the very group aimed to help keep families healthy during the A's recovery is what they are making fun of.

Has anyone else heard these 'jokes' before and how did you handle it, if so? I am still a little steamed about it...

keepinon

We tell alanon jokes all the time in my alanon group..here's just a thought..those people making those jokes could be "double winners"..I actually have told an AA joke, not in a meeting, but to others..

Tuffgirl

It wasn't a nice joke. It was demeaning to Al-Anon and people who go there. That's what concerns me. I can take a joke when its fun-spirited. This was mean. And easy to turn around and fill in the punch line with something related to the alcoholic and be just as mean. I've never heard of this before - and the RAH hasn't spoken to me since I told him I found it offensive.

sailorjohn

Depends on whether or not it was funny.

If it were extremely funny, I'd laugh, moderately funny, I'd chuckle.

Not funny, I'd probably say so.

Care to share the joke?

Tuffgirl

Oh - alright (grudgingly...)

I am not going to get it completely right (darn memory!):

How many Al-Anon'ers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because they didn't cause it, they can't cure it, and they sure as hell aren't screwing it back in.

??? Might have been worded a little different but you can get the gist...

tallulah

I giggled..

sailorjohn

:rotfxko

Tuffgirl

Ok, well, it might be me being sensitive...anyone else?

It may just be me feeling defensive, since this is coming from a guy who hounded me about having my own "program" and then tells jokes about it.

Maybe I should start telling some AA jokes in return?

jayscott

Depending on my mood I could see myself getting offended by that, yea. It would be like me saying "How do you get a drunk up on the roof? Tell them the drinks are on the house."

wicked

I understand why you feel defensive Tuffgirl.
When my ex would make his little snide comments, it was disturbing because I felt he was belittling the hard work I was putting into recovery.

Now, if he has some AA jokes he can tell, he ought to stick to that.
At least till he gets the wetness out from behind his ears.

Sigh....recovery, sometimes I'm good, sometimes.....not so much.

Beth

wicked

I would be climbing up there back in the day!
Never heard that one, it is good.

Beth

sailorjohn

There's a big difference between you telling me the joke and your hearing the joke from your husband.

I found the joke funny, but if I were in your shoes?

May have been the way he said it more than the joke itself.

yeahgr8

Thats quite good actually...i dont like jokes much but worth a smile...of course i am not living with an insane drunk who has deeply affected my life so all good sitting here!

That said would i then repeat it if i was in a relationship with someone who had struggled with my alcoholism alongside me...nope of course not, if i was 4 and heard a builder shout the word **** and repeated it at home (i actually did at 4) then some understanding and leeway might be in order but a grown, supposedly mature adult repeating, like a parrot, what they here without any thought to the other's feelings...hmmm?!

Both of you keep moving forward with your very separate programs and see where it goes:-)

StarCat

Yes, exactly.
There's a lot to be said in a tone of voice.

A simple phrase can mean ten completely different things, depending upon the tone of voice, body language, and history of the speaker.

You're not crazy.

TakingCharge999

Tuffgirl I didn't appreciate the comment... but then again I have made "drunk jokes" such as

"they call him the Monk, due to the length of his habit"

"they call him the cap, because if he is not on the floor he is stuck to the bottle"

..then again I am not saying this to an AA struggling in recovery.


That is why I went No Contact. You think they are done hurting, nope, it never ends. If someone doesn't get respect by 6th grade then I don't think they will ever get it.

Also I believe one can think whatever or laugh at whatever but you don't necessarily have to SHARE it with someone who may be hurt. Its that sensibility that some people lack and I decided I want nothing to do with them. I just can't relax around them and can't trust them.

Some people go beyond "to add insult to injury".. now "to add a joke to the insult to the injury"... sheeesh..



HUGS tuffgirl, I hope you can let the anger out of your system in appropiate and healthy ways for you!!

kiki5711

:rotfxko:rotfxko

I liked this one, but the other one I don't get it

StarCat

Looking at the joke closer, the last line does imply that something should be done to fix the problem. While I agree that a lightbulb does need to be changed upon occasion, it's implying that the person attending Al-Anon can and should "cure" it.

In other words, I think this sort of humor can be funny to the right people who are far enough from the cause of the hurt (I can repeat some of XABF's favorite phrases to people sarcastically now, and not be hurt by them, but think they're funny - although they weren't at the time), but for people going through this situation, especially now that I'm sitting down to look at it - it does feel offensive to me.

Mark75

Freakin' hilarious!! Both the 3c's and Drinks Are on the House... LOL

In all good fun and all....

smacked

I've actually heard that joke a bit different..

"How many Alanon's does it take to screw in a lightbulb"

"None, they ignore it and let it screw itself"

And on the other side..

"How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb"

"Just one - he holds the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him."

I think they're both kinda funny actually

Untoxicated

I thought it was funny.

I find drunk jokes funny too - that's who I was and not who I am. I'm at the point now where I can laugh at what I thought was a great idea and how damn stupid I was.

For me, once I got to the point of accepting my past - I could laugh in the present.