bluebelle

I'm sure this is not the first time I've posted this. My RABF is whining and complaining and doesn't want to do much. Everything is a huge deal--whether it is turning down the TV or going to a movie. He is tired and doesn't have the energy. As far as I know, he's been off codeine for over two years. However, sometimes I wonder with his recent behavior. He feels sorry for himself all the time, and he gets angry due to little things. He claimed he felt better today, but now he's just going back to sleep. I would like to do something because it's the weekend. I have to work and go to school during the week. I don't feel like doing much, because I've been sick. However, I also don't feel like doing nothing. I realize that I am whining about his whining, but that's just the way I feel. If I tell him that's how I feel, he'll just moan so more about how he's tired and it's cold.

Panther

Codeine does a lot of damage to the brain. Any opiate is going to cause widespread damage to different brain functions. I was addicted to Vicodin for several years and it was only after I started doing research into restoring the health of my brain and body did I start to feel "normal" again. Without adequate care/treatment, your husband will continue to show symptoms.

suki44883

You could always go out and do something without him. Just because he wants to be a lazy butt doesn't mean you have to sit around and watch him sleep or listen to him whine.

bluebelle

Yes, I know. I do things without him all week long because I am very busy. It looks like my whining wasn't worth it because I got him to go with me after all. He's been moping a lot lately and it sometimes gets me down. I am very busy without him because I have exercise classes, college classes & work. I am busy all the time, but he won't work a full-time job, because then he won't have time to lay around and mope. Just kidding. He's the more financially stable of the two of us, so it's not about money. It's just he's always saying how awful his life is, but I don't see that it's really that awful. He has a problem with clinical depression, so maybe it's partly that. He takes antidepressants, and sees a psychiatrist. I know it's not my job to cheer him up, and his emotions has nothing to do with me. I have to remind myself of that sometimes. I am such a codependent, and I think I spend more time worrying about his emotional state than my own. That's something I'm trying to work on.

bluebelle

It sounds like the issue could be unrelated to drugs. RABF found out that his best sober friend has been cheating on his wife. This is a friend who has helped him a lot during his recovery, so RABF is feeling upset and angry at the friend. RABF is still having work issues. I think he really could be trying to find a work situation that will make him happy, and that's what some of this is about. I meditated that evening and really tried to focus on letting it go. I started crying, and realized that I was holding a lot of pain from thinking that I'm not good enough. I get scared that RABF and others will leave me--don't have much of a relationship with either one of my parents, so I guess I have some abandonment issues. I'm just trying to remind me that I'm worthy and just because others have abandoned me, it doesn't make me unloveable. Thanks for listening!