Having trouble with step 2
Emotional Shutdown
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 63
Having trouble with step 2
and this surprises me. After all, I believe in God.
Unfortunately, I am doubting that God can help me find sanity. I often feel that god is punishing me for just about every bad choice I have made so how can he help me find sanity?
Words of wisdom are welcome.
Unfortunately, I am doubting that God can help me find sanity. I often feel that god is punishing me for just about every bad choice I have made so how can he help me find sanity?
Words of wisdom are welcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I personally don't beleive God punishes or rewards..how about looking at it as a higher power for now..a life force, flow of energy, nature..the group can be a higher power..showing you the way to sanity.I personally think God is inside of us all..the core of who we really are..that can't punish you or reward you..it is just the very purest,most quiet, healthy , and serene spiritual part of yourself that you just have to rediscover
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Alabama
Posts: 58
I am working on step 2 too. Do you have the book Paths to Recovery? It helps me to journal the answers to the questions. It also really helps me to read the section on the Traditons and apply it to my family life. The step 2 tradition really helped me with the issue of God and our choices.
What I took from step 2 is that God loves us and therefore has given us free will. We are free to make our own decisions and also to enjoy or suffer their consequences.
I believe God can help me find sanity through prayer. For me prayer is putting all the issues that are too much for me to deal with out there. Then I ask for God's guidance and listen quietly for at least 10 minutes. I might not resolve an issue at that moment, but often during the day an answer will come to me. I also need to get in the habit of doing this before each major decision or when I feel my life is getting out of control or even when I'm facing something a little difficult.
For me, after reflecting, I've seen that by repeating my same behaviors and not getting any different outcome I'm allowing myself to live crazy. I have to change my behaviors to be more healthy and in my best interest.
What I took from step 2 is that God loves us and therefore has given us free will. We are free to make our own decisions and also to enjoy or suffer their consequences.
I believe God can help me find sanity through prayer. For me prayer is putting all the issues that are too much for me to deal with out there. Then I ask for God's guidance and listen quietly for at least 10 minutes. I might not resolve an issue at that moment, but often during the day an answer will come to me. I also need to get in the habit of doing this before each major decision or when I feel my life is getting out of control or even when I'm facing something a little difficult.
For me, after reflecting, I've seen that by repeating my same behaviors and not getting any different outcome I'm allowing myself to live crazy. I have to change my behaviors to be more healthy and in my best interest.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by PickMe 
I can't go with the "nature" or "the group" thing. My higher power's name is God and I really don't see anything wrong with that.
I'm still working through this one.
I'm still working through this one.
I am in the same boat as you with HP being God and struggling with this step. I am struggling with the whole "God helps those who help themselves"
So, I am trying to help myself and I feel NOTHING from God.
I feel that I have to do the heavy lifting in restoring myself to sanity.
Although intellectually I know this is wrong.......
sigh....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 216
I too have felt the same and have given a lot of thought about this. For me, I think the concept of a higher power (God for me) stems from my ACOA issues of God being an authoritive figure that can punish.
I have to do a lot of reading to re-program my internal messages about God. I had a lot of self esteem issues that "proved" I was bad, defective...how could anyone love me, especially God. How could he help me when I prayed so much for things to change (other people and the circumstances involved ) and it didn't.
I am just beginning to have a relationship with God...something that I don't know how to do well, since all of my relationships in the past were so dysfunctional. Because my parents were caught up in the disease of alcoholism and codependency, our home life was very chaotic and every day there was a lot of uncertainty. Hence, I learned not to trust anyone with authority and God was one of them. Out of fear, I began to attempt to control people and outcomes. That is when I began to be "my own God".
When the insanity (unmanageability, Step 1) reached an all time high, I fell on my knees and it felt so good to give it to God. I didn't ask for anything but serenity and sanity! Then, this calmness came over me. It didn't take away the problems, but it brought such sweet relief. It was then that I was able to open my mind up to the possibility that yes, maybe I can form a relationship with God.
It takes DAILY reminders that there is a higher power that I can give all my fears and worries to. I have to read, come to this wonderful site and meditate to undo the old tapes that keep playing in my head.
I hope this helps some and I thank you for your post, it has shed some new light on my Second Step,
Huggs,
Hope
I have to do a lot of reading to re-program my internal messages about God. I had a lot of self esteem issues that "proved" I was bad, defective...how could anyone love me, especially God. How could he help me when I prayed so much for things to change (other people and the circumstances involved ) and it didn't.
I am just beginning to have a relationship with God...something that I don't know how to do well, since all of my relationships in the past were so dysfunctional. Because my parents were caught up in the disease of alcoholism and codependency, our home life was very chaotic and every day there was a lot of uncertainty. Hence, I learned not to trust anyone with authority and God was one of them. Out of fear, I began to attempt to control people and outcomes. That is when I began to be "my own God".
When the insanity (unmanageability, Step 1) reached an all time high, I fell on my knees and it felt so good to give it to God. I didn't ask for anything but serenity and sanity! Then, this calmness came over me. It didn't take away the problems, but it brought such sweet relief. It was then that I was able to open my mind up to the possibility that yes, maybe I can form a relationship with God.
It takes DAILY reminders that there is a higher power that I can give all my fears and worries to. I have to read, come to this wonderful site and meditate to undo the old tapes that keep playing in my head.
I hope this helps some and I thank you for your post, it has shed some new light on my Second Step,
Huggs,
Hope
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