Dexy31

Im here as my first step to recovery. I drink at least 6 days a week and sometimes more. A sever hang over does not stop me from picking up a drink the day after.

There are a number of reasons I drink. Stress, celebrate, party, fun, boredom, habit, sadness, depression...etc. I can find a reason to drink anytime.

I want to quit because I am always the most drunk at work events and I do things I regret. I can't remember much when I get drunk and I Feel like an idot when people remind me of what I said or they are surprised I can't remember.

I have been drinking since 18. At first just on weekends but now I come home from a stressful job and I have 3-4 drinks to calm down. I have visited a counsellor twice in the past 5 years and they didn't seem to think I had a problem. I feel like I do because I want to quit And I am unsuccessful at it.

I have been thinking of going to AA but haven't mustered up the courage yet. My wife tells me to quit drinking so much, but then she has a srtessful day and she brings home a bottle of wine. Once I start I seem to want to get that good buzz going so I can forget my day and pass out.

I am afraid to ask my wife to come to AA with me, I feel like a failure. I just want to be healthy and feel good. I and a big weekend with friends, drinking from morning to night for three days. I really felt like crap, but still went out for a drink last night. I didn't have one today as I worked late and I just didn't feel like it.

I have tried to quit 3 times last yeAr and I didn't get past 4 days. Everyone I know drinks and there is always a reason on the weekend. I am going for dinner with my wife and another couple this Friday and I am unsure what to drink. Thy are new friends and I don't think they are big drinkers, but I want to fit in if they Re having wine etc. Any suggestions on what to drink?

I tried making contests for myself as rewards for making it 30 days, but still have not been able to do it.

I was diagnosed with a fatty liver a few months ago so there is health reasons I should be considering. Anyways, I am rambling....

I am glad I found this site. I hope to be successful soon!

Dee74

Hi Dexy

Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here

I think for a lot of us we really need to make that choice to quit...but we don't...and things get worse. You'd be wise to take some steps now before it gets too bad. The real failure here might be knowing you have a problem and doing nothing.

Talk to your wife...let her know where you are in your thinking...go to AA...(you wife doesn't have to come with you)...and most importantly remember that fatty liver and see a Dr - the liver is remarkable in its ability to regenerate, but liver problems are not something you want, Dexy. While you're there, ask about detoxing safely.

D

artsoul

Welcome Dexy - I couldn't quit on my own either..... good for you for reaching out and admitting you have a problem. That's not an easy thing to do.

You hit the nail on the head when you said you could "find a reason to drink anytime." I spent a lot of time thinking about, planning, and getting over my drinking. It's really no way to live.

AA isn't scary at all - it's really laid back and it's nice to be around people like us and get the support we need. They have some great tools, too......

Hope you stick around and keep posting - this is a great community. As far as what to drink when you go out, what I do is get a tonic and cranberry. It took me a few weeks, though, before I was able to go out and be comfortable around any kind of drinks being served.

Sobriety takes time to get used to, but things have gotten much better for me since I made the decision.

least

Stop drinking for yourself, for your own health, no matter what your wife does. Maybe you'll set an example for her once you get healthy.

EmeraldRose

I'm new here too and this is a good place to start.
But find out about local AA meetings. I've been to two and I coudn't wait to get there. I was so excited to go, change and be free of this monkey on my back. I drank on/off for almost 30 years or so...it's time!
I also went to a counseling service and they do an evaluation on you to decipher if you need rehab. I qualified and couldn't wait to get there either. I am SO enjoying my sobriety and new chance.
I know it will be hard to deal with situations...friends ask you out....going out to dinner, etc. But you just take it day by day and just order something else! You don't HAVE to make an excuse as to why you don't order a beer or a shot of whiskey. Order an ice water, be firm about it and look happy with your decision, people will just acccept it.
Good Luck.

GodsHolyWill

I think it's great that you want to go to AA! I'm on Day 4 of sobriety and I just ordered online a few AA books to start the program! I'll keep you in my prayers!!

Taking5

They give away the Big Book at many meetings, or practically give it away $3 - $5 at the rest. The rest of the AA books are usually also in the same price range.

Here is a good link on what to expect at your first AA meeting.

Your First AA Meeting

LexieCat

I always order unsweetened iced tea at restaurants. Never had anyone look sideways at me. Plain ice water is good, too. Either one goes fine with anything you order. I ask for iced tea as soon as the server asks if I'd like something to drink.

At cocktail parties I generally get club soda with lime or a splash of cranberry juice. Never had anyone look sideways at me for that, either.

Coming up with elaborate excuses for not drinking (on medication, not feeling well, etc.) is tiresome and unnecessary. It can also backfire when it gets lame after awhile. Just saying you aren't drinking is sufficient.

Dexy31

Thanks for the advice everyone, I appreciate it. I am also looking forward to the physical changes of not drinking. I read another post and someone mentioned feeling do much more clear headed, quick thinking and being able to remember names better. I am in sales and being more sharp is really going to help.

ReadyAndAble

I drank daily for years. Wanted to quit for years--sorta, though looking back, I think I actually wanted to keep drinking, I just didn't want the consequences. The big shift for me was when I stopped wanting to avoid hangovers, embarrassing moments, etc., and started actually wanting to be sober. Very hard and very weird at first--just going to sleep sober was quite a change. Now I love it.

I love waking up in the morning free of regrets. Love not spending my weekend afternoons resisting the urge to start in early (it's 3 p.m., can I have my first drink now?) I feel better, I look better, I just am better in every possible way. Not having a hangover is great--but the sense of freedom and purpose is the most amazing thing for me. I'm more confident now, and more genuinely interested in others, which I imagine would useful traits in your job.

Welcome to SR. This site is a daily part of my recovery, and has been a huge source of insight and support!

poorguy

I am in sales as well and have been clean for 3 days. I know it may not seem like a long time but it has been a long time since I have not had a drink in 3 days. I had a scare on Monday with a pain under my right rib cage. It may be my liver and I am having tests done with results pending. I too found a reason to drink in almost any situation. I have noticed in the past few days of not drinking that feelings and emotions are stronger. On the bright side, my love for my family is deeper. I am still dealing with underlying impulsive anger issues that my alcohol used to curb but there are better ways of unwinding the stress knot than alcohol. Alcohol was like someone was lifting the world off of my shoulders but the next morning and throughout the day, it felt like the world was back on there with venus and mars along for the party which I then took off again that evening with another drink and the cycle continued. I'm slowly chipping away at the weight on my shoulders without alcohol. You are among friends buddy. I have found this place wonderful. When I come here, I feed off the courage and resolve of those who lend advice and their stories, many I can relate to. I'm ready to get out from under this cloud. Weigh the stress of what drinking is doing to you physically and emotionally in one hand and the pleasure you get from it in the other. The scales tipped dramatically in the direction of coming clean. I'm just 3 days into it but already feel a sense of accomplishment that alcohol never would have afforded me.

Dexy31

I have been experience large waves of anxiety and the first thing that comes to mind is I can't wait to get home to I've a drink. Is it normal to feel increased amounts of emotion when detoxing?

My other normal reaction would be to smoke a joint, but I'm trying to quit that at the same time.

LexieCat

VERY normal. It will settle down a bit after a week or two, but you can expect mood swings and anxiety to come and go for awhile, though it does go down over time, and eventually you even out.

Don't freak out, just hang in and hang on and don't drink the feelings away. If you do that you just delay their going away. Anytime you feed the addiction (and that includes smoking pot) you will set yourself back.

My favorite bit of recovery advice is to expect to feel WEIRD for awhile, and just ride out the weirdness. It won't kill you, even if it's uncomfortable for awhile. It gets much, MUCH better.

Dexy31

Well, I went out for dinner, ordered a tonic cranberry. The others shared a bottle of wine, I declined to join them. When driving home my wife and I were discussing the bill and she said oh, well you had two drinks, how much was that? I replied, $2.50. She was confused because she thought I had alcoholic drinks. She was very surprised and proud of me for not drinking. I told her I quit, "said that before", but she didn't take me seriously. I haven't told her I have been using this forum for help... But it is helping. It's only day 3, but I made it though Friday night and that hasent happened in years. Going to bed sober and clear headed... Weird.

Dee74

Lexies advice is good

If you like me - any feeling thats not buzzed or stoned is weird and abnormal and will be for a while...but you can get through it Dexy

I'm glad you made it through the night tonight - I wouldn't routinely put myself in drinking situations tho....it's ok to nurse your sobriety a bit in my opinion - at least for a while

D

Dexy31

Well, I didn't make it through the weekend. I had an invite for dinner at my brother in laws. He just bought a new house and it was our first invite for an official visit. I made it through dinner with just pop, but decided to join them for a glass of wine after. That turned into 4 or 5 drinks and a joint.

My in laws are a big source of addiction. Every family gathering is fueled by my two brother in laws getting really drunk and smoking weed. It's hard to decline the peer pressure.

My one brother in law drinks very heavily and you could definely say he needs help. He smoke everyday and every event is a huge party.

Any thoughts on how to over come this obstacle?

*** I am dissapointed in myself. I was feeling much more clear headed and had more motivation to complete new tasks. Starting over sucks.

LexieCat

I suggest you avoid those family gatherings for awhile. You won't have to do it forever, but it's taking a foolish risk in early recovery.

My second suggestion is that you go ahead and get yourself to an AA meeting. Most people are nervous the first time they go, but are pleasantly surprised about how much they appreciated being around people who really know what it's like and have a real solution. Here's one of my favorite links: what to expect at your first AA meeting. It does a good job or answering all those questions and misconceptions that make people reluctant to walk in the door.