Aysha

Got a letter today from one of my good friends in Florida. He has offered me a job and a place to live in a nice apartment with my own bedroom and bathroom. Condition is that I work and help pay bills and most of all stay clean.
I have known this man for a long time. He has seen me at my worst and put up with me like family. But he doesnt tolerate my BS.
He is offering a chance to start over.
It may not be the best solution. But it is a good one I think.
I need to get away from my family and get out on my own. This way I have to be held responsible and accountable for myself.
My friend will not put up with drama. He will put me out at the first sign of trouble. I grew up in Florida but am not stupid enough to put myself in a situation where I will have no one or nowhere to go and thats an awful long way from any kind of help from my gram.
I am looking into going back to school after awhile and they have good recovery down there.
My heart has been and always will be in Florida. I hate NY and always have.
As soon as my taxes come I'm out of here.

suki44883

I hope it all works out well for you, Trish. I also hope you'll keep in touch with us and let us know how you're doing. In case you can't see the obvious, we do care.

Aysha

I know you do. Thats why I feel like I can always come here with anything and know I am always welcome and find true kindness and honesty.
I have said it a million times and I will say it a million more.
I will forever be grateful for SR. If nothing else in my many attempts at getting clean. This place and all the people here are by far the most priceless thing I have had the honor to come across.
I literally owe my life to SR and everyone here.
I found this site for a reason that day. It has been the single most important constant thing in my attempts at recovery.
I truly am blessed to have you guys.

suki44883

I'll take that as a "yes, I'll definitely keep in touch."

Dee74

In my heart, I'd prefer to see you in sober housing or some kind of rehab Trish - but I really hope this turns out to be the best thing for you

good luck - and stay on SR

D

Aysha

LOL..You guys couldnt get rid of me if you tried. I dont know if thats a good thing or bad. J/K.

I have been unhappy here for a long time. You guys know I long to be back home down south. Its going to be a huge change and kinda scary at first. After all, Thats where I got started in drugs. Thats where I was at my worst.
But I dont have my enabler this time. I think as long as I get right into some kind of sober network down there I can do this. They have alot of programs down there. And I know there are a bunch of meetings. Maybe I can meet My hometown homie vegibean when I go back. Where has she been anyway?
I have a good support system down there. My best friend since 7th grade who isnt an addict has always had my back. There are alot of jobs down there. The beach is there. OMG..I am so excited.
I cant screw this up.
My famiyl is treating me like an outcast. I had to go to the Dr today and no one really wanted to take me. I dont blame them. But I have never done anything to disrespect them or give them any reason to treat me to that extreme. They are treating me like I robbed them or tried to hurt them. I only hurt myself. I understand to be disappointed in me. But sont look at me and treat me like I disgust you. Thats new with them.
I guess thats what happens. It hurts tho.
But I did it to myself. They will come around. Its just frustrating because no matter how far gone I am. I have never stolen form them, disrespected them and am always right there when any of them need me. They are kinds selfish to begin with and act like they are better than someone. They have always been like that. I have my fronts when it comes to my addiciton. But they can be real fake alot of times. And not just with me.
I am pretty strait forward and honest and never once denied what I am.
I juts dont like phoney people is all. My gram is the only one who has ever stood by me unconditionally. She told me tonight that when she is gone not one fo them will ever help me. And shes right. Even if I wasnt using they wouldnt. Its all about them. I just wasnt brought up like that.
Anyway. Thats all irrelevant.
I'm going home!!!!! Sunny warm weather here I come!! It will be a month or so before I go tho.

Taking5

God luck down there. I have been all over Florida and there is some real strong AA groups down there if you are interested.

least

I hope this is the change you need to get your head on straight and make something good of your life. And of course you'll stay on SR, if possible, right? Since it's the best recovery site everywhere!


What will happen to your cat?

Rickie

I think from what I've read perhaps your family is enabling you to continue with this sort of self destructive behaviour? It seems like you resent them a bit.

I'm guess your a teenager/early twenties without a job? Are your family giving you financial support? If that's the case I think this move could be great for you and give you some independence.

Anyway hope it goes well. You have something to look forward to.

Anna

Trish,

I wish you the best, always.

When you move, keep in touch with us and let us know how things are going.

Rusty Zipper

good wishes on the move trish,

just keep the old trish in NY

pack light! lol

Aysha

LOL..You woould think so right? I know I live and act liek one. I will be 36 in Aug. Pretty pathetic ..I know.
But thats what happens when all my life I have been spoiled and never been made to be responsible in any way at all. I didnt have to pay bills until 2003 when my gramps died. All I did was run the streets and get then go home and leech off my grandparents. They took care of me and payed for everything. An addicts freakin dream. Who would want to stop with all that?
Thats what I have been saying. I NEED to do this. I am pitiful at this age being like this.

I am scared of AA because I never drank. But I will be looking into NA. I'm going to West Palm Beach. My hometown. Lots and Lots of recovery there.

newby1961

Its hard for anyone to know what the right plan is for you except your HP. I know my story is way different I left home at 13 and spent years living all over the U.S.

My 70's and some of the 80'd I lived all over Fla till all the gangs & crack came over and hippi ville was gone

My only ESH is that as long as I remember I take me with me and that this is a we program hey the sky is the limit

Sounds like you have a lot of support on here take us with you and lots of us will keep you in our heart and prayers.:ghug3

Rickie

Hey. It's never to late to make a break for it and start again and you CAN do it. Don't look back on your previous years as wasted and look forward to how great it can be.

I can totally emphasise with you being spoiled yet running the streets at the same time. I've been there....lack of responsibility and able to get cash is infact a dream as you know that realistically you can always get high if you try hard enough at your family.

If my replies to your posts come off harsh Aysha, it's because I think you need some tough love. Infact YOU know what you need to do.
So I really hope this move works out for you. When you achieve the independence you've been longing for you will feel fantastic.

So good luck. Look forward to hearing how it's going in a few months.

nogard

I wish you the best Trish, I was nodding my head when I read Dee and Rusty's posts.

You know where we are and that we accept you just as you are.

MsCooterBrown

Ditto. Best of luck to you on your new journey!

Hevyn

Always hoping for things to change for you, Trish. Maybe the time is right for things to go in a different direction.

julez

Trish, this is great news for you. I'm so happy you can move and get a fresh start, especially with someone who won't put up with your bs!!! lol
I wish you the absolute best of luck.
Don't make us wait too long for an update, OK???
:ghug3

stugotz

Welcome to sunny Florida. I moved from the Bronx to here 16 years ago. They have drugs down here too. Good luck and keep up the good work.

Kmber2010

Wishing you the best Trish with your plan. I hope, like others, that this really can be the changing point. I don't honestly think that a change of environment, etc. is a must for someone to get their lives on track but I do believe that it can help someone get the fire started ya know.

Way I see it.....this opportunity is what you make it. Perhaps a change of scenery will get you feeling good and to say enough. We all have it in us to do it.....we have to use it and we have to reach out for support. I think NA is another positive thing for you.

Keep focused and please do stay with us. No matter where we go in life.....we are only a few keyboard strokes away.

Thinking of you.